Section 11.1: Jain-Hindu Marriages

Section 11.1: Jain-Hindu Marriages

Hinduism and Jainism are two distinct religions but with many common Dharmic value systems. In the West, there are many Hindu-Jain temples under one roof and devotees praying side-by-side. Historically, there is no reported war or killing in the name of religion between these two faiths. In spite of these, Hindu-Jain marriages are not going to be without their own set of problems; however, generally, there is no expectation of religious conversion by any one side. We have seen most married Jain-Hindu couples following both practices, may be more of one and less of the other.

Here, the author has listed 11 representative cases out of some 40 Jain-non-Jain relationship experiences at InterfaithShaadi.

Suketu says:

I am a Hindu guy (non-veg) married to a Jain girl (pure-veg). We are together for 5 years. We do have cultural differences. Neither do I completely understand Jainism nor does she understand my faith. Irrespective of our differences, we still are happy. We are together because we both respect each other’s beliefs and cultural values. We help each other out even if we have to do some rituals belonging to each other’s faiths. So what I am saying is—it doesn’t matter if he/she is from different faith, all you need is to have faith in each other. —Suketu

Kavita says:

I am a Jain girl and my boyfriend is Sindhi (non vegetarian; Hindu). We are together for last 5 years. We have the same issues as discussed above about our beliefs. He doesn’t eat non-vegitarian for me but his family does. I don’t know how to tackle this thing. I love him a lot and can’t be without him. —Kavita

Sital says:

I am Jain and my boyfriend is Hindu. In December I am going to marry him but my question is that I don’t want to change my surname. Can I do that? I want to follow Jainism (my boyfriend and his family don’t mind, they allow me) so can I write Hindu-Jain as caste after marriage? I don’t want to write Hindu as a caste. Will I be able to do this? —Sital

Parag says:

I am a Hindu and I loved a Jain girl. You don’t know how much I suffered. I have been crying for last 1 year. She left me now because of the religious feeling of her parents. —Parag

Tulsi says:

I am in love with a Jain boy and I am a Brahmin girl. We are in relation for last 2 years but I am really scared of telling my parents about our relationship. I am depressed. —Tulsi

Neil says:

I love a Jain girl. My parents agreed for the marriage but her parents have not. Her parents told her if she will marry me then they will not be allowed to follow their religion. Not because of the society but because this inter-caste marriage will destroy their family religion. I wanted to know, is this only an excuse they gave her or there is some truth in this? —Neil

Preya says:

My boyfriend (Jain) has been unable to talk to his parents about me (Hindu). If we are blessed by a priest, can we overrule his parents’ consent? This is only to say because there are underlying threats of him being disowned by his parents… (more than 2 years later) Thank you for your advice. Now my boyfriend and I are married since a year, with consent from his parents. He follows Jainism while I follow Hinduism. Of course, there is still bitterness of the past but generally we all behave ourselves. I am writing this as a thank you, and best wishes to all others who may face a situation similar to ours. —Preya

Parlin says:

I was born as a Hindu Brahmin girl. But my parents were very open, educated and never tried to tie me into any religious boundaries. When I was finishing my graduation, I fell in love with a Jain guy. Everything started with flirting but we became serious for each other and we dated for 3.5 years. My Jain-ex never introduced me to his parents but me being stupid introduced him to everyone in my family. Though he promised that he will marry me, he never did. So after 3 years I asked for his decision and he told me very clearly many a times that he doesn’t want to go against his parents’ will. His parents are old and they may die if he marries me because he is a Jain and I am a Hindu. I was feeling like an idiot and shed tears for almost one year. He married a girl of his community.

I had no choice but to move on in my life. Later, I shifted my base to Canada for doctorate, married to a French Canadian Christian Pentecostal guy. —Parlin

Anand says:

I am a Hindu boy and I am non-vegetarian. I fell in love with a Jain (marwadi) girl 3 years back. She too is in love with me but she is damn afraid of her family because her parents are strict. I am ready to convince and talk to her parents and ready to get converted (to Jainism) too. Will it be easy to convince them and will it work out? —Anand

Shanti says:

I am a Jain girl and I want to marry a Brahmin guy. His parents want me to perform all rituals and worship Hindu Gods. I feel bit hesitating in doing so. On the other hand my parents can’t see me doing all these things, so they are against it. His family wants me to accept Brahminism completely and forget about Jainism. I am just afraid if this condition prevails we can’t marry each other. Our families are highly religious at their ends, but we love each other and want to marry. Please help. —Shanti