Kallu says: May 1, 2019 at 2:18 am
Hi,
i m Roman catholic and my GF was Hindu. We both working in same company but different building and used to stay in city at 7 kms away from each other, since she used to ask for and bring customer problem for solution n i used to get resolved by any means than it can b with any team, from their our communication began and we came close to each other, i felt in love with her but she was not than i tried to convince abt my love n feeling for her n than even she felt the same n we were in relationship from almost 2 years and we knew everything abt each other. i was pure non veg n she was purely veg, i never had veg in my 7 to 8 years span but started having becoz of her so that she will like it.
we started having calls everyday and than from calls to meeting every week and from meeting every week to almost every day also everyday video calls. we shared everything to each other including our family, personal, official, private concerns and daily issues.
i used to booked her tickets and used to go for pick up and drop at airport or railway station her, even she used to come 2 to 3 times to pick up me. we were not only emotionally attached by physically also, we started to go on trips with her friends who also had their love partners and on trips we started sleeping together (2 trips were done, hence we slept twice).
we came to level where we decided to get married in both religion and had plans all our future dreams abt our family, children, home, future business plan, etc.
she wanted to get married as soon as possible as our ages were increasing but i was not able to tell my parents since my younger sis marriage was getting fixed (for whom we both prayer together for her to get married) and my home renovation (for which we both prayer together for loan to get passed and even after that selecting almost all interiors) but my parents had lots of tension hence was unable to disclose abt us to them, this was already know her as i used to tell her everything.
we used to go to catholic church for mass and Hindu temple as per our time convenience and have all kind of prashad, lunch and things which they used to provide.
we also used to reject if any marriage proposal received to us through our parents. we used pray together over call in night before sleeping and we used to spend lots of time together either on call or practically. I used to go with her for Buddha meetings.
i used to drop her till home after her shift, used to change my shift timings for her and so does she
she started preparing lunch for me as my office canteen was not good enough, i told her everything’s abt my past relations and also abt girl who used to blackmail me in office since i had used her for official things
one day we were on way to next (3rd) trip with her friends but her father called urgently to c a boy whom her father had called as the boy was supposed to leave for USA for job, since her father had given a word to that boy father, she went hometown to fulfill her father wish, saying that she will reject that boy and will propose everything abt me to her dad, even she will convince to her dad abt me
but wen she came from hometown. i had good news for her that my parents have agreed for our relationship but than she halted me and said that she wants to broke up with me (7th Feb 2019) saying i don’t love her but loves physically, i don’t care abt her and i m very selfish abt achieving things whatever i want and will do whatever for get those wishes fulfill, doesn’t care abt others feelings, even i m thinking all time abt unnecessary things and not fruitfully, even she is not able to study or attend budda meeting becoz of me and i have wasted her lots of time, she started removing my mistakes and abt my past relationship with girl from my office who used to black mail me.
i was so broken, still its being more than 2 months i m waiting for God to help me to restore as i tried everything my end to make her convinced and understand, her friends didnt supported me to convinced her as they will loose the friendship, even i told her i wont stop her from doing anything, will allow whatever she wants to be, but now she is feeling that i m irritating her by trying continuously to meet her or discussed abt resolving the issues and if tried to make to c her by waiting near home she will lodge a complaint of emotional harassment on me,
everyday my tears flow as i m unable to forget since we had spent so much time together and done things together, i m praying for her continuously whenever i m getting time from my office hours and when i m at home day n night for hearts transformation, I really trying to finding a way to remove all those misunderstanding from her mind (as this se can be propose to her friends or in office abt me) and trying to convince but she has blocked me from every communication n all my ways where i m stuck n unable to clear the same. –Kallu
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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I Thought Christians are Chill Types but...
Guys
any suggestions for me to restore this relationship as stil I m waiting for her to come back whatever and however she may be……..
Hi Kallu,
It must be hard to go through this pain. What is her position? is she talking to you?
Hi Kallu
Hope you are doing well .
Your posts very well describe the emotional and mental trauma you are going through.
You have mentioned she used to attend Buddhist meetings And herself is a Hindu . Could this be one the reasons
I would suggest you to have patience.. if she is the one for you and she truly looked forward to have a future with you
She will come back to you . But if you will force her to talk to you, this will turn her off and she might distance herself from you.
Conversation sometimes is not the key to reunite with the person you love.
You must understand that you can’t force someone to be with you .
1. Thanks priya for concern but to be honest, not doing well, as I m going through health issues since I don’t feel like going anywhere or having food or cant even concentrate on JOB and family, I feel lonely without her, eagerly waiting for her to come back and restored our relationship, as I have given everything to this relationship whatever I can to keep her happy and smiling
2. Though she used to attend Buddhist meeting as she follow his principles this is not the reason, infact we had discussed that I wont come in between them or stop her from what she likes or what she feels to do as she must have her own space
3. N yes, I tried to convince n make her understand but she went far off me so far that she has blocked me from all communications, neither ready to speak or c mee,
4. since fight and arguments happen in all relationship though some of my habits were not good but I was improving in those things she wanted me to,
5. we had promised lots of things abt us and abt future and mostly not leaving each other whatever circumstance or situation occurs rather we would sit and solved those issues but I guess family made her or family members brainwashed her so much that I m unable to convince her from my end
6. I have not taken any of her freedom but now she is so angry on me and now she claims that, I have fooled and used her , which honestly I have not, cant understand even after knowing everything how can she leave me in such a bad phase wher I really need her presence n her love
7. its being really very tough to control and stay without her as I really missing her and her calls, our day to day activities sharing of office, personal, family, other, etc, It also reminds of times and places we used to sit and chat while having(paani puri, sweet dish or dosa), places where we used to have dinner, breakfast, gardens we used to go, phoenix – for shopping.
8. Person who was with me in every situation n whom I shared everything including my past n my secrets(which I was going to share with my future wife) now has left me in worst knowing situations
9. I really missing her n want to restored everything between us
Dear Kallu,
We are sorry you are in this situation. It is too sad that things did not worked out as you wished, however, failure is a part of life (read). We see that you are going through depression and also failing in your job. Somehow, you have to come out of this situation. Stay busy meeting different people and go help poor and needly. This is not the end of your life but God has something better in plan. Instead of being depressed and sad, somehow stay happy and busy. We hope someday she will realise your love and may come back (if not, still plan to be happy!). Best wishes.
Hi kallu
We all go through breaks up … reasons might be different but the pain and suffering is same .
My boyfriend of 3 years ( with whom I was planning to get married and had convinced my family too for the same ) broke up with me abruptly and got engaged to someone else within a week of the break up and got married with 6 months. Mine was also an office romance and I felt my world had collapsed. Trust me I can very well understand your feelings and I had the same pain . He immediately without any time got engaged to someone and blocked me . I thought my life had ended . But it had not . I am still alive and happy . It hasn’t been an year also and I am over it .
Go out meet people , stay with your friends and family . Go on a vacation . Stay in touch with those who care for you . This is not the end of the world
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/broken-relationship-world/
I wished there should be a team or congregation or committee for public of exp and mature level people/theologist who can work on such types of problems or cases and should set a meeting type with both the parties to resolved such kind of relationship issues either by making both parties understanding or convincing them for each other and if required also making involving the parents to understand the same, as personally I feel religion, caste or culture is not imp but Love is biggest religion than all which binds and keep people together
Dear Kallu,
We have made this web site with the same objective as you suggested. In the name of God, people make each others life hell, and that is sad. Please come to this site to help other youths. We hope your love (gf) will come back soon. Best wishes.
1. she wanted to have marriage in both ways and court marriage also
2. My family was initially not ok but now agreed but may be they can demand later
3. Since My Aunt is NUN, she will offcource stay out of this she gave her opinion what she felt n that ok
4. we had also went to church to meet parish priest and he was ok with it but he said that wedding is to be held out of church since she wanted to stay hindu only and we both agreed upon the same
5. there was no issue at all but after she went to hometown after all this began and she started removing mistakes
6. now she is avoiding me as said earlier also she has blocked me from all d ways and might b she is giving reasons to hide that her dad is not approving this relationship
7. kindly also suggest should I go ahead for panditji suggestion or spell caster to bring her back on track, since she is not coming via straight way should I try the above given options to bring her back
Dear Kullu,
All these must be painful. You wanted an innocent love but religious leaders and relatives are making your life hell on this heaven!! This is a reality of our life.
1. she wanted to have marriage in both ways and court marriage also
The first registered marriage counts. Can the first marriage be the Special marriage act?
3. Since My Aunt is NUN, she will offcource stay out of this she gave her opinion what she felt n that ok
Is your nun Aunt okay to attend the Hindu wedding? Does she consider Hindus (like your gf) are born sinners?
4. we had also went to church to meet parish priest and he was ok with it but he said that wedding is to be held out of church since she wanted to stay hindu only and we both agreed upon the same
Will the church not ask your children MUST be Christians only? Are your parents okay you raising Hindu-
Christian children till their adult age?
7. kindly also suggest should I go ahead for panditji suggestion or spell caster to bring her back on track, since she is not coming via straight way should I try the above given options to bring her back
If we were in this situation, we would not listen or follow spell caster’s advise, but it is your choice.
1. We had already discussed that our first marriage would be in court, hence ther was no issue abt it
2. she upto her as I dont mind either
3. We had already discussed that as per rule children will go on DAD’s religion, she herself told this I never planned, so that was good
4. not getting any option and I m clueless and even time is running out, its very painful and I don’t wanna let her go just becoz of small mistakes rather I would want her to take some time and lets discussed and wherever v find issue lets resolved it if required lets involved somebody senior or experienced person to restore this case
5. I would she should also trust me and stay strong to declare in front of her family abt our love and relationship
On “as per rule children will go on DAD’s religion”, there is no rule. Only practice is a Christian marry a Christian and a Hindu marry a Hindu; that rule now you are breaking. Once you break the norms, rest is all up to discussion and decision. If she does not want to be a Christian, how can she raise Christian children? Apparently you two can’t think far but this could be a major sticking point for the future. What would you say if she says NO to having Christian children? Will you walk away on this ground?
1. will teach and provide the knowledge of both n let them decided and I agreed to that
2.her second opinion was let them decided and I agreed to that too
We are glad you are open minded. We always suggest to accept Jesus but keep the church out for a happy married life with equality and fairness to others. Now your major challenge is to get connected with her and discuss a path forward. We wish you the best.
pls suggest the way to reconcile or reunite or restored this relationship as I m trying but she has blocked me from all types of communication, no one is ready to help me either, I really don’t wanna loose her
what abt panditji advice
If you ask us, ignore the pandit’s advise.
and what abt spell caster can you do research and let me know, pls as I m really trying to get her back
pls help and revert with ur findings
1. Trying to convince and make her understand, I m ready to do anything for her as long as I can, I have fulfilled all her wishes/promises that she asked for
2. I really don’t wanna missed her as I really love her
3. another problem I forgot to mentioned is in one of the policy I have taken on her name the bond papers consisted my name in nominee section as husband which even we were not aware of and this was checked by her dad, this took big boom in her family that made her father more angry and this can also be one of the reason abt rejection
4. She is so stubborn that she is not ready to given another chance
5. even nowadays she is not calling for any issue, she has also change all her ways to enter and exit the building and blocked me from all communications
6. tried to take Hindu pandit advice but he said there is shani chakra and for that I need to do some things to calm those chakhras down and asked to pay a particular amount after which they will tell me to do the remedy to calm and for her to come back in my life
7. really need a way to get her back on track and remove all the misunderstanding and clear doubts to avoid this stop,
8. Also let me know what is spell somebody told spell caster can bring her back on track
We don’t believe in spell Caster etc so we will only provide practical type guidance. All these questions are valid but workable. Keep trying and hope something will work out. Best wishes.
Dear Kallu,
It must be very hard to find out that your girl friend dumped you without giving good reasons. Apparently you were doing well and had no religions related issues. It is very hard to learn that she made a complete U-turn and abruptly. Is it possible she was giving you warning signs but you did not realized in your love? Was she an opportunist and found a “better deal” other place? This is certainly sad!
1. Reason is her dad which is her weakness, as whatever he says she does n I believe its he who must have brainwashed her
2. She wanted us to get married but some of other issue including caste and my past girl from office created issue in her dad’s mind relating her to think on same
3. she has already rejected 3 to 4 proposals for me as per her
On “her dad which is her weakness”, this issue should be handled first in any relationship, but unfortunately, people deal with it the last.
On “other issue including caste”, your church will want her to covert to Christianity. Was she ready for it? Again, this is one of the first points to be discussed.
other issue like :
1. one of the policy I have taken on her name the bond papers consisted my name in nominee section as husband which even we were not aware of and this was checked by her dad, this took big boom in her family that made her father more angry and this can also be one of the reason abt rejection
2. somewhere my aunt had mentioned to her that in our culture normally wife give salary to husband to keep in joint account, this point she picked up saying why will I m give my salary to husband but actually aunt wanted to say that it should be managed by both n kept in joint account, for this she opposed
3. she says we need to find the way to further career rather than focusing on giving time each other but I told her lets build our strong relationship first and way to career will automatically follow by giving and motivating or mentoring to each other
she didn’t wanted to convert and I m ok with it she follows her religion n I will follow mine, and decided not to force each other for any religion based things or rituals to perform
On “she didn’t wanted to convert”, are you your family okay not having the church wedding? Does she what a HIndu wedding? Are you okay with marriage with the Special Marriage Act 1954?
All these 3 points are workable but has to be discussed upfront. You two are adults and you did what she wanted on #1. If she is okay, parents should not have say on it. Wishes of the aunt is to be decided between two of you and if necessary keep the aunt out of your married life. If career is important to her, it is possible she may not want children too. This is something two of you have to discuss and decide a way forward.