Prateek says: October 1, 2013 at 9:48 am
Being myself in an interfaith relation, we (Hindu-Muslim) both have faced enough problems and troubles in this world; all this brought only one conclusion to both of us that religion is actually nothing, what the truth is that you should worship the power that helps you to be together. The power that brought you together.
All this conversion business is nothing but a result of narrow thinking of a bunch of hypocrites who have nothing much productive to do in their lives instead they live by breaking hearts of people, and sometimes even end up killing them.
In the above post only the first question is most relevant. If a person is ready to assign highest priority to his/her love then nothing else matters.
In my case when we both started I was in class 12, she in class of 10, now I am doing BTech 2nd year, shes in 12 (hope her boards go well).
We have faced a lot, and someday I plan to write a story type novel, as a guide to many interfaith couples out there, till then I am here, on this site guiding people, I wasn’t active but now I would be active. -Prateek
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Also read: Hindu-Christian Married Life in America, Christian-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Jew marriages, Jain-Muslim marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Brahmin-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Inter-race-Inter-faith marriages, Jew-Muslim marriages, Christian-Muslim marriages, Who is God?, Bollywood and Interfaith Marriages.
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Hi admin,
My greetings to you, time and again I’ve visited this site to get advice. So here I am again to share the development in my interfaith relationship.
My girlfriend is a muslim and I am a hindu. We both love each other truly, want to be together. Now she is 18 and has completed her class 12 as well, currently I am doing engineering from a reputed institute in India. Recently a alarming thing happened her maternal uncle suggested to get her married asap, given her condition that her family knew about our relationship and they were strictly against it. She is going to start her college this year after 12 results are out, I said to her that she can tell everybody that she is completing her studies and she doesn’t want to marry now, but she says that they wont accept this excuse. Two years of my studies are still left, after that only I would be able to get a job.
I don’t know what to do, please guide me.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=866
One more thing I wanna add is that I live 2000Km away from her.
Thanks, Prateek. It is good to note that you realize the importance of religion and assume it as a way to live a fruitful life. You will be amazed to know that at the summit of self knowledge, religion is futile to the really enlightened persons. Great Adi Shankracharya was one of them but he did not ignore the adherence of faith despite having such a vision. Instead, he established places of worship of God in four corners of our country. After a great elaboration upon Braham, Atma(self), Body, etc. etc. In his great treatise known as ” Vivek Chudamani ” ( The Crest-Jewel of Discrimination ), what he concludes is something very striking and can be termed as a fruit of engaging in worship of God, all kinds of rituals. severe penance etc. He says that ” there is no death, no birth, no spiritual aspirant, no seeker of liberation and no one liberated either. This is the essence of all. “. What we are doing. We worship God to attain heaven, eternal life, pleasures, comforts and what not but the reality is entirely something different. All beginners in religion are kind of enamored of such temptations mentioned in sacred literature. One can assume these reciting of verses, assimilation of their essence and all kinds of rituals a kind of preparation to reach climax / perfection. Adi Shankaracharya says that when such perfection is achieved, all wealth and pleasures are nothing before it and if human being fails to achieve it despite having everything on earth, he is still a loser. And the one who attains it is the real winner. Prateek, we can assume religion as something in the beginning but in the end it is nothing. How interesting and just think over it, where are idols, sacred books, all kinds of rituals, plethora of Gods, temples and all kinds of spirituality ? Everything gone, just as the moment we cross the river, boat returns to the other shore and before us is the destination and now there is no use of boat. Please do not take it as preaching on my part. My whole intention is that to the younger generation, real soul of our religion must be crystal clear and they should imbibe a real perspective of their religion. In fact, my comment is addressed to all the youngsters.
Very relevant question about existence of power that is universally called as God. Have you ever wondered how this bizarre thought would have made it’s way to the caves of human mind ? 1. Was it due to a danger to life , lurking all around when humans were living in very trying times ? Wild animals could have devoured them any moment, also there was fear of floods, lightening, diseases and so on. In such a terrifying conditions, humans cried in pain to save them and they cried to all things they deemed as powerful vis a vis themselves, viz. Air, water, fire, sun, moon, ocean, earth, sky, etc. etc. This may be one of the reasons of origin of beliefs in some kind of powers, powers that were far strong compared to fallible humans. 2. In a course of time, humans invented language among many other things. Now they started praising them in words and the language got more polished, when the humans chanted or praised these vital elements, they felt somewhat relaxed and felt as if they were in the embrace of these elements , an embrace that seemed like a protective shield all around them. It was a kind of nature worship. 3. Now what would have happened that a steak of humans among them deemed these natural things as in control of some bigger power who equipped them with such powers, a kind of delegation of authority. 4. A chunk of humans imagined these vital things of nature as powerful beings just as someone as an human is strong or weak when compared to each other. Not only this, they would have also imagined the super controller of these vital things of nature as the most powerful being and beings that nothing could have been imagined or said by the humans. 5. To sum up, the maximum extent to which human imagination could have gone was this- the most powerful being, the controller of all things. The humans then assigned names to this great power such as God, Ishwar, Allah and so on. This is also wonderful that no one exactly knows as to who were the persons behind coining of these words like God, Ishwar, Allah and so on. I have not come across any kind of information about it as yet. There may be other reasons behind origin of this lofty concept but the above five would be suffice to prove why we humans came around believing in Super Power that is commonly called as God, Ishwar, Allah or so on. It is also a fact that a significant chunk of humans refused to believe in such kind of belief and they were called heretics and were so despised by co humans that they had to pay for their lives in expression of disbelief. Since a large chunk of the humanity were believers, there was a least tolerance towards atheism. The readers will be amused as to why such an elaboration upon God when history abound in such kind of theories ? The answer is that this is to show how the outer religion emerged before the more mysterious, more thorough, the more complex , the more problematic, the more discussed, the more despised, the more loved, the more respected, the more adored, the more eulogized , the more discriminative and there is an endless list of “the more” penetrated the human mind. With such kind of complexity, the humans were perplexed no end, tortured no end, exploited no end and fooled around no end and the same has been still going on. No doubt, a great chunk of humanity derive immense peace of mind out of contemplation on the religious thought of humans in the forms of various religions. There is also other reasons behind in belief in Super Power such as a symmetrical order in the universe, humans, animals, plants and other visible and invisible things all around. How these things operate on their own like machines but not behaving exactly like machines as there is a “sense of self” arising especially in humans( science is not clear about such “sense of self ” in animals and plants as yet )? Also some humans are tormented by the questions of existence, of life, of death and sense of self and so on about that science does not provide satisfactory answers and so the questions remain as curious as before and humans therefore tilt toward religions in search of finding truth. Now if we simply say that religion is nothing, this generalization will give vagueness to the already a vague subject. If we deny religion, there must be a deep scrutiny and sound logic behind such denial. A casual assessment will not be acceptable to either a deep religious minded or a lay human being who is trying to grasp the real essence behind all this stretching of religiosity , meditation, contemplation and enlightenment and so on. Call it blessing or curse that we humans do not live our lives unlike animals, plants and other creatures. We are not satisfied with our experience as living beings but want to be assured to be alive and happy even after our end/ death ! After reaping all comforts and luxuries on earth, we want to own paradise after our demise! The gist of all is that we want to remain immortal but do not know how to go for it ? That is why we are mad after religions and ways to drink nectar so as to live forever ! While other creatures live happily without harboring such silly( isn’t it ? ) desires, we get hypnotized by the thoughts of paradise and so enamored of them are we that we do not think twice even to kill ourselves, depriving ourselves of this clear, visible, stark and immediate truth called life that is vibrating before us with all glory, glamour and gusto. This is my humble explanation about this great bewildering phenomenon called God, Ishwar and Allah and so on, I welcome all to explain further and to the interfaith marriage seekers, it is an humble advice that all interfaith married couple do not go by such a simple logic that religion is nothing, on the contrary, they may be staunch faithfuls in their respective faiths and while it is none of our business to suggest them any fool proof system of living, it would be better for them to keep their minds and hearts open to all quarters of the humanity for their betterment. To me, religion is the only biggest hurdle before the interfaith marriage seekers and they have to cross it by employing as various ways as they can perceive in their wisdom.
Dear Hareesh,
Thanks for publishing your views here. Now, I am not pointing towards athieism, I am just asking people to be more rational in what they believe, I am urging people to research and look for answers.
In my case I too worship, but my god is happiness, I worship others as well as mine happiness, and that is what everyone is trying to attain, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment, moreover as you already said that the concept of God originated due to many factors namely vague understanding of science, fear of unknown. I am saying that religion cannot be bounded in a book by a set of protocols it has to be searched for and people should look for the truth themselves rather than following some book or anything. Religion is the way to lead ones life fruitfully.
Now let me take an example of Hindu wedding ceremony, the wedding takes place in the dawn time, 7 pheras, mantras and everything. Now tell me the couple would they have been any different if they just started living together without all that, No. But all this really makes a difference because it attaches a sense of responsibility, it creates an impact in their minds that lasts a lifetime, which helps later to keep marriages together. So for interfaith couples they should look out for their own ways to find their own god. God is everybody’s personal and ways to reach him are personal and unique as well for each and every person on the planet.
Hi Prateek,
We wish you good luck. Can you ask your gf to join here to learn it first hand and express herself? One day, how are you planning to get married? Religious marriage?
Hey admin,
I am sorry as my gf doesn’t have internet access, she can’t be here, but her thoughts will flow through me, don’t worry.
To tell you some little background details, we both studied in same school; used to be friends, well love happened. We both are happy for us. As far as our marriage is concerned, its gonna be an interfaith one Special Marriage Act 1954, but she is a girl each girl has her fantasies and I want her and mine Marriage day to be memorable one. As now I am in college, its still 2 years from now till I land myself with a job, first I need to be on my own knees before going in for marriage.
My college is 2000 km away from her and home. But we manage and keep loving on and on, no matter what.
To get you up with the developments, as you already know that her mom knows about our relationship, she supports us but none of her siblings know about us, they would never budge we both know it. Next my parents know about my relation, first they took it just as some casual relation and thought that it would fade away with time but that never happened. She met my mom and results were good. My mom doesn’t approve that she is Muslim, mom says that she will have to convert and all that. It was not a very long discussion, but I made it clear that no conversion thing is happening, I told her that if that is the case then I too should convert to Muslim, I told my mom that religion is a way to live its not something that you could just convert into, moreover its love and respect that matters, happiness is the true god, all the things in the universe do everything in their lives to attain happiness.
It wasn’t heated discussion or anything. I am working on a strategy, I am not bombarding them with this, just a little bit at a time to let them digest. They also know that I am right, but all this society bullshit comes in the light; I find excuses to make my gf meet with mom alone when I am not there. This diwali I am going back, and will call my gf to my place, we’ll have nice chat then, I’ll update everything here.
Are her Muslim parents okay her not having Islamic Nikaah? Do you know that there cannot be a Nikaah without conversion?
Will your children have Dharmic or Arabic names? …circumcision? …their formal religion? Do not underestimate this very critical questions.
For now, focus on your education and get a top notched job. Unless you are financially independent, you will have to dance at tunes of two sets of parents.
Her parents are definitely not okay with a non-islamic nikaah, but i really don’t care; What all I care for is her happiness.
Our children will have the names those please us, unique, doesn’t matter Dharmic, arabic, english etc etc…there won’t be any circumcision as it doesn’t have any health benefits. Their formal religion, I guess neither Hindu, nor Muslim, they would just be like us both, free birds of rational thinking and breaking the dogmatic attitude. I am not underestimating your questions.
Yeah, ofcourse getting a top job now is my first priority and you know why.
Prateek,
Why make lies and deception a foundation of your married life?
If you don’t wish to convert to Islam (Shahadah before Nikaah) and be a real Muslim, then why don’t you stay firm on it. Tell them that Shahadah is absolutely not possible for you. This is what you said, “All this conversion business is nothing but a result of narrow thinking of a bunch of hypocrites who have nothing much productive to do in their lives instead they live by breaking hearts of people, and sometimes even end up killing them.” Why you want to submit to narrow thinking of hypocrites?
You be honest. Take Shahadah only if you wish to be a true Muslim (read Haque).
Honesty will pay in long run. In a short run, your gf will not be happy, but ultimately she will come around and allow you to be what you are, a Hindu. If you don’t teach them a good lesson, who else will?