Sabana says:June 15, 2013 11:55 AM
Hi readers,
Premarital Sex: Sex before Marriage Devalues a Woman
It is human nature to place greater value upon that for which we work. This holds true for men. When a woman has sex with a man before he marries her, she is instantly devalued. He has nothing to work for when he has been given a woman’s ultimate, the pleasure of her body? Instantly she has been placed on the same level with all the other women that he had sex with in the past. They were not his wife and he had sex with them. She is not his wife and she is having sex with him. He did not value them enough to marry any of them. What is the difference between them and her? He probably said the same things to them that he is saying to her? What is he receiving by having sex with her before marriage that he cannot get with any other woman? A man can have sex with any number of girlfriends, but he can make love to only one wife.
Premarital Sex: Is He Willing to Die?
No greater love is this, when a man is willing to lay down his life. Men and women throughout history have been willing to die for what they place high value upon. They have chosen to die for their country, their religion and for even the whole world because they counted the cost and found their cause valuable enough to end their life on this side of eternity. Likewise, when a man truly values a woman, he is willing to die for her in marriage. Marriage is like a death. Two people have to die daily to selfish desires and truly seek the desire of their mate. This is so that their marriage may live.
Premarital sex gives a man a pretty good deal. He has a woman at a marked down price and she performs for him just fine. She may show a few imperfections occasionally that premarital sex flushes out, such as fear of losing him and insecurity. Overall, though, the arrangement is great for him. Why hurry to lay down his life in marriage when things are working fine for him now? He is single; has his sex; what else can he ask for? If she is living with him, he probably has a few meals a week and a cleaner place to live thrown in the mix too. Why disturb the good thing he has going on now? Marriage will probably come later with someone else that he values more. Why buy the cow, when he can get the milk for cheap or better yet, for free?
Premarital Sex: The Short End of the Deal
Women really get the short end of the deal when there is sex before marriage. The is no beauty of making love in marriage with his committing to you for life, building a life together, building memories, building a history together as husband and wife. After a while, a man can decide to leave for someone else. With no marriage in place, there is no recourse. He does not even have to wrestle with the proverbial words, “It’s cheaper to keep her,” because he’s already cheapen her by not putting a ring on her finger and given her his name.
What do women receive from premarital sex? Women who have sex before marriage get matted on the mattress without the benefits of matrimony. That sounds crude and so unromantic. Yet, premarital sex in of itself is not romantic in the truest sense. Two people committing in marriage to a lifetime together through thick and thin is both beautiful and romantic.
In the name of personal choice, women are told to devalue themselves. Have sex. It is not a big deal. Give your body what it wants. The message of sexual freedom is on television, in the movies, in popular music, and in school curriculum. However, what is not seen after the love scene on the big fantasy screen is the fallout that occurs for real when women have sex before marriage. Yet, no matter how hard we try to pretend the consequences of having premarital sex are not real, they remain.
Premarital Sex: Guard Your Value
The bottom line is that you are valuable. You are a valuable beautiful woman. Your body, your love is the most priceless possession that you have. You are worth holy matrimony. Guard what is yours and give it only to him who values you enough to commit his life to you in marriage. If he tries to devalue you by pressuring you to have sex before marriage, then he has devalued himself and is not worthy of you. Make haste to show him the exit out of your life.-Sabana
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“By nature girls are innocent and emotional, whosoever respects them (even falsely), they get trapped. There are so many anti social elements in the society who are disguised as gentlemen but internally conspirator” –Abida
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“On premarital sex: You (Rajiv) had premarital sex and probably won’t mind extra marital sex too. If you are in the West (even now in East), this is common. We hope you truly believe in free sex (like dogs do). We hope you do not expect your wife (who ever that is) to be virgin. Further, when your 14 years old daughter introduce you her new boy friend, you will not be a hypocrite by asking your daughter to refrain from pre-marital sex. Remember, what goes, comes around! Are you ready? –Admin
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Hi readers,
I am submitting following text, which might be of some relevance on the instant subject matter.
MUSCAT (Reuters) – When unmarried 19-year-old Sama got pregnant, she ran away from home to have an abortion rather than face family wrath.
The young man who got her pregnant had refused to marry her, saying he could not afford the financial burden. So she went to share a room with a friend in a university hostel in the Omani capital Muscat, 450 km (280 miles) away from her hometown of Buraimi in the north of the Gulf Arab state.
The abortionist was her friend’s aunt, a 76-year-old woman who boasted that she had successfully terminated over 200 foetuses in a long, illegal career. The operation in April last year proved nearly fatal for Sama.
“It was extremely painful and I nearly bled to death. I stayed in hospital for a week recovering from the botched procedure,” Sama, who requested that her family name not be used to protect her identity, told Reuters.
Oman, a conservative Muslim country, is grappling with the strains of modernisation.
Two decades of fast economic growth, fuelled by oil exports, have raised living standards and increased people’s freedom of movement, giving men and women more day-to-day contact than they would have back in their tribal villages.
At the same time, cultural attitudes have not shifted nearly as much: pregnancy out of wedlock is widely regarded as a sin and young women can face severe beatings at the hands of their families. In addition, a family’s honour can be damaged by the disclosure of a pregnancy.
The result is that a substantial number of women feel they have to abort secretly rather than bring shame to their parents, social workers say. Doctors are told by the government to obtain the permission of a patient’s parents to conduct an abortion.
“Young women, if the word gets out, will never find suitors after an unwanted pregnancy as the community brands them as prostitutes, because they had a relationship outside marriage,” said Fatma Al Rahbi, a social worker at the Ministry of Social Development.
Women in all the conservative Gulf Arab states face similar social taboos and restrictions.
But Maryam Hashim, a women rights activist in Bahrain, said: “To put it in a regional perspective, Omani women issues are less open than any other Gulf countries.
“Young women there are much more controlled by parents. There are no mixed boy and girl parties or gatherings. Girls are told to hang around with other girls and not boys,” she said.
“So it is not a surprise that now Omani girls fully capitalize (on their time) at universities and colleges, where they develop secret relationships with boys that end with unwanted pregnancies.”
HOSPITALS
Official statistics are not available, but social workers say they believe the number of out-of-marriage pregnancies, and therefore abortions, has been increasing as Omani society becomes more mobile.
Doctors who talked to Reuters at seven different hospitals across the country said about three unmarried women were rushed to the hospitals every month for treatment after abortion attempts left them fighting for their lives.
Last year, it was an average of two unmarried women every month who had aborted and were admitted to emergency wings. There are 26 government hospitals across Oman.
Some of these women don’t make it.
“It is horrible the way they are brought in. One came in the back of a taxi and was left at the emergency entrance. The other was left on the roadside in broad daylight and was picked up by a passing car. They both bled profusely and died. I estimate that there are about 50 to 70 abortions carried out illegally every year, ” said Hassan Al Hajar, a doctor at Sur Hospital in the eastern region of Oman.
He added that women being brought to his hospital refused to name the illegal abortionists, often because they had some personal connection to them. The result was that no charges were brought against the people who performed the botched operations.
Saeeda Shamis, 37, a successful businesswoman who runs three beauty parlours in Muscat, married a Jordanian after she was disowned by her family for getting pregnant at the age of 18 with a boy next door. She had a successful abortion but was thrown out of her family home.
“The word gets out very fast when you get pregnant. You find no Omani man wants to marry you, and that’s why I got married to a foreigner,” she said.
EDUCATION
Some blame the spread of higher education for pregnancies out of marriage. The government is promoting education to help more of Oman’s roughly 2 million citizens find jobs and is encouraging the education of women as a way to reduce inequality between the sexes.
The number of Omani students in tertiary education in the current academic year is up 9 percent since last year to 41,330, where female students make up 65 percent, according to the Ministry of Higher Education.
In Oman, girls and boys are separated in primary and secondary schools but this restriction does not apply to higher education.
“Now these kids meet at higher education institutes after they leave schools. They sit next to each other in the classes and they develop relationships that lead to unwanted pregnancies,” said Salim Al Battash, a father of two daughters whom he said he married off before they reached the age of 18.
The number of Omani women in the work force jumped by 16 percent to 41,000 in 2011 compared to a year earlier, according to official manpower data, and there are more in regular jobs than in other Gulf Arab states.
Shamis said that to end or at least reduce backstreet abortions, attitudes in Omani society would need to change fundamentally.
“This is not about pregnancy or abortion. This is about parents who should stop branding their daughters as sinners when they make mistakes so early in life.”
Doctor Hajar said that Omani hospitals are acting under the instructions of the ministry of health not to prescribe birth control pills to unmarried women.
“I suspect (this is) because the health ministry fears that it will liberalise the sexual intercourse among unmarried couple,” he explained. Parents agree.
“You will not find a single parent agreeing to have their daughters given free contraception. If the ministry of health does it, then we will protest and make our voices heard about this. Why? Because it is against our religion to have sex outside marriage,” Khalfan Al Mhedhery, a 67-year-old retired oil engineer, told Reuters.
A senior official at the ministry of health, who refused to be identified because he was not authorized to talk to the press, said: “Due to religious sensitivities, we do not consider changing laws about birth control at any time. Only married women will receive contraceptive pills
Dear readers,
A very relevant point has been brought out here.
It is a fact that a female certainly gets devalued if she has premarital
sex relations.
She is not treated as loyal, virgin and trust worthy.Suspicion and doubts hover around her. Morever, the male partner who had sex relations with her, does not want to marry her, and the poor female has to suffer a lot of mental agony.
No respectable family accepts her as their daughter in law.But the position in western countries is different.
Premarital sex has become an everyday thing for all Westerners. Infact virgins are criticised. It has become a shame to acknowledge one’s virginity. The outcome – people are never satisfied. Their daily schedule starts with the determination to find a better sexual partner. If they find one and get married, 60% people are satisfied with their marriage but may never leave a chance to sneak out and betray their partners. This is due to their past habit of changing so many sexual partners. When they get caught, it usually results in divorce or separation. The biggest sufferers are the children. The people who do not marry continue with their obsession and die in old people homes alone. The lives of single parents are not easy. Managing work and children is an extremely difficult task. Hence people depend on antidepressants and other medicines. The children suffer too, due to the feeling of insecurity. Most of them develop psychological problems, or start taking drugs.
Let’s consider the people who get married and why most of the marriages do not succeed. For a marriage to succeed there are many factors apart from sexual relationship – love, sacrifice, adjustment etc. Let’s imagine a marriage has all these factors. But is it easy for a person to change his habit of sleeping with different people? Most of the people do have control over themselves but many do not. Hence they are prone to commit mistakes. So the success rate of a marriage reduces to the chance of getting caught. However advanced a society is, women do not accept their husband cheating on them and neither do men. So what’s the use of highly advanced views in the beginning when at the end expectation is same as the people with old orthodox views?
Let’s consider the example of India (Asian country). In Indian society, a girl is considered of good moral character if she is a virgin before marriage and did not have even a love affair with some one else. Though concepts are changing in the metropolitan cities, 75% of Indian cities have the same old concept. Before evaluating whether this concept needs modification or reformation we should consider other facts too. A virgin Indian girl after marriage dedicates her entire life to her husband and family. In Indian society there still exist joint families. In mostly 70 % cases the son stays in his parent’s house with his wife, even after marriage. The children are exposed to a very comfortable family culture and a loving upbringing. With grandparents and parents always present, the sense of security is very strong. Hence children who do not stay in metropolitan cities are less likely to turn to drugs and other bad habits. Seeing harmony and love in the family, children less likely neither turn into psychopaths nor develop psychological diseases. The mother is contended, since she never had any sexual relationship before, her husband is her soul mate and her family is her soul priority.
How do the Westerners differentiate them from the prostitutes? Prostitutes in return take money, while the others in return seek enjoyment. Basically it’s hard to differentiate.