Suresh, Sept 3, 2011 11:27 AM
Hindu-Jew Marriage situation. Found this Forum very interesting. In my Opinion, Observation or an Experience, we as Parents, are usually left with no options, but to Yield or Concede to our Children’s Choices, they have Chosen. I feel as a Parent, in such situations of Inter-Faith Marriages, the Children are looking at Today, aware of but not Concerned about Tomorrow, for example Children after Marriage. One Faith or the Parents, Grand Parents override the Decisions, made by the Children before the Marriage. That’s where The Conflict begins & hence forth a very high percentage Divorce, 70% rate. Knowing the Figures & Facts before, will bring more Happiness & Prosperity later.
Do you have any similar experience to share?
Are marrying young adults in lover now really not concerned of issues after child birth?
How much parents and Grand Parents override the decisions made by young adults?
Share your views here.
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hi Everyone,
I am a liberal Hindu girl with an open mind about all religions and belief of equality. I was very close to a christian boy and slowly as we grew closer to each other he proposed to me one day and since i liked him i said alright i would get married to you only if our parents agree since i didn’t want to run away and shame our parents.
He agreed to it. everything seemed perfect in the beginning. I am an engineering graduate and he has only done a diploma. We faced a lot of opposition from my family since my parents did not consider him to be equivalent to us and they believed that marriage should be among equals.
But we both always hoped and believed that in the end our love will triumph. He said that he was even ready to get converted to Hindu even though i never wanted him to. We agreed to follow both religions without any conversion on either side. I had made it clear to him that since i hardly went to temples i would not like to visit church every Sunday like they did. He kept saying yes to everything.
First we discussed on having a registered marriage and then a reception. But later he said his mom would feel bad about the registered marriage so we should have a marriage in both faiths. Slowly and surely he kept saying about each and every ritual that has to be done according to his faith and each time pointing out that his mom said that or this and it has to be followed.
i was shocked by the sudden turn of events n realized that he was a momma’s boy. Meanwhile my parents weren’t even ready to entertain the idea of me and him being together.
One day my father told me that someone had called them and informed about me and my boyfriend meeting each other and all the details about when we would meet what we would do etc….
we both became very alert after that and i did not share any details with my friends and told him to do the same too. At least till my parent’s had agreed. He agreed but he kept telling every single detail to his mother since his mother was very supportive and said that she would do everything she could to get us married.
after 4 months of the first call my father received another call again telling him about every single detail about where we met etc. my father is a very mature person and he told me details which very few knew about. Even about his ex girlfriend. he said the person who had called told him that my boyfriend was after our money. i felt my father was only trying to brainwash me. But later i checked the call logs of my father’s phone and to my horror it was my boyfriend’s mother’s phone number. when i confronted my dad about it, he agreed that it was her who had called my father and requested him to ensure that i stop meeting her son.
i was disgusted with this incident. The very next day she called me and said that if i was ready to run away from home i should run away and she would get me and her son married. I hate such two faced people. She had tried to break us up and when that hadn’t worked she called my father and cried to him. My father even requested me to not tell my boyfriend , since his mother and he were very close and it would break his heart to learn about such behavior.
I decided to stop seeing my boyfriend after that. I believe more than the faith, the person and their family should be sincere and honest. I have now realized my mistake and learnt a big lesson.
After our breakup my boyfriend who never even went to church earlier started going to church every Sunday and praying everyday and even fasted for reasons like “Getting a good president for India” or “Cure homosexual people” as according to the church they are sinners.
I am so glad to be away from such people who are being brain washed in the name of faith. So everyone it is my request to you that please ensure that you know the person and his upbringing before getting married, because marriage is not only among two people but two families. One’s upbringing has a lot of influence on their behavior. Please don’t assume everything will be as you have imagined. Sometimes we need to removed our love tinted glasses and see things as they really are.
For people who are able to find good spouses even in inter faith marriage good luck, i am happy for you. Please ensure that you do not let religion become bigger than your loves ones.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8062
very sad
My son, who was raised as a Christian is planning an engagement to a beautiful girl who is a Hindu. She is very respectful to me and my husband. She and my son invited us out to an Indian Restaurant in an Indian Community so that we may become familiar with her culture. They want us to be part of their Hindu ceremony…. In India! At first I was taken back… now I am getting excited about the idea. I am a Christian/Spiritual person… so at first I had some reservations, not because my son was going to have a hindu ceremony, but because I was part of it. I have been praying every day… and I feel led to participate openly. I am more concerned about the long trip, than the ceremony. I don’t like to travel, expecially so far on a plane. Then there are concerns about taking time off work. But our children are giving us time to think about it, and I am trusting God to lead me and help me to work this out.