Heena says: January 13, 2013 at 2:27 am
I am 25 years old Muslim girl, live in USA and in love with one hindu boy, we were studying together in the University, so since 6 years, we are known to each other, and we love each other like a crazy. He is very intelligent , smart and sensitive, working as a software engineer while I am accountant, I know I could not live without him.
I want to marry him, he is ready to marry me, his family is also ready but my parent are not ready and forcing me to marry muslim boy. I am depressed now. I can not live without him. I wan to spend rest of my life with him. Now, I have decided to leave my home and parent, I will marry him any cost. I want to convert to Hindu for marriage. IF this is good step? -Heena
Admin says:
Heena,
There is a big gap in expectations of Eastern parents and what American born children are going through or doing. It will take some time to narrow this gap and you will have to help your parents. Instead of getting depressed (that does not help any one) start educating yourself. There is plenty written on this site and take time to understand it. After that, go to your parents and without being emotional or angry, get into rational discussion. Even it seems like the discussion is not going any where or parents are too rigid, keep dialogs going on. It may take 6 months of such discussion, but in the end you and your parents will come to some concrete decisions.
Islam, Christianity and Judaism are monotheist (there is only one God and that is theirs), exclusivist (we are the only one to be salvaged or will go to heaven) and supremacist (we are God’s chosen people or ours is only a true faith) religions. However, Hinduism, Jainism, sikhism and Buddhism are, in general, pluralist religions (Isvar Allah hero nam). For this reason, any non-Muslim have to convert to Islam for Islamic Nikaah marriage ceremony; but that is not the case for Vivah, the Hindu wedding. You do not have to convert to Hinduism for Hindu marriage ceremony. This phony or fake-conversion just for marriage is not a good idea. If you like pluralistic Hindu teachings and want to accept Hinduism as your religion, that is your choice, not some one should impose on you.
A major mistake any Muslim parent make is to EDUCATE their daughters. Telibanis are smart and that is why they do not let girls go to school. Once someone is educated, one will start critical thinking and start questioning irrational teachings out of their own religious books. Tell your parents that it is too late for you to turn back. However, respect their feelings. Instead of fighting with them or running away from them, stay with then and educate them to be a pluralist.
Let us give specific answer to your question raised. No, it is not a good idea to convert to Hinduism just for the Vivah ceremony. The same way, it is not a good idea for your Hindu boyfriend to convert to Islam just for Islamic Nikaah. This fake-conversion will ultimately ruin your life. Instead be a pluralist and accept each other the way you are.
Let us know your progress in educating your parents. Best wishes. -Admin.
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hymen Replacement Surgery, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
I’m expected to marry a Muslim man someday
Hi,
I am Hindu and divorced with 7 yrs daughter and i love with muslim boy. he is very awesome person and my family also accept him.but the issue is that he is muslim. what to do he is agree to make agreement so any person please help me what i should do now.
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=15041
HI Friend,
If you and your boy friend boy want to live together. Then directly arrange your parents and boy parents meet.
Second if you want you can do court marriage as it is legal in all ways. in front of law no religion is bigger or smaller.
One thing I like to tell you Hinduism is not a religion but way of life, where you have full authority to follow your religious practise, where no other religion allow.
Also Hinduism never except conversions.. but ask to follow path of mankind.
Importantly if any person say all born are hindus, then it dose not means that they are dominating your religious belive.
It mean that like a new born baby follow its own rule to play and its his way of life. It is same in Hindus religion.
You will find many new fascinating experience, new information of life, nature , social etc facts which you may not found or observed in other religions.
Well to convince your parents you can contact me thru social site face book.(Pritam Mandole)
Unique name on site.
And still If you thing that there is way to conver
You are most welcome.
Please consult Biswa Hindu Parishad activists.
Zahid is trying to scare Muslim brothers and specially the M uslim sisters using Allah’s
name and hell fire. Islamic Allah is nothing but the alter ego of Muhammad.Nobody had seen Muhammad talking to Allah or his angel. Muhammad’s Quran is inspired christianity.
The condition of women is worst in Islam. It is a fact. According to Quran, men are a degree above women and muslim men can beat their wives if they doesn’t obey them. It says that women are in majority in hell. A muslim man marry four women but a woman can’t have more than one husband at a time. Women have to cover themselves from head to to toe in all seasons.
NAMASKAAR;
bahenji,the decision you have taken is wonderful.please don’t think of any god.If you are a girl from pakisthan or afghanistha,banglades i will be saying warm welcome to comeback to your originality.quit all those second thoughts like weather to do or not.all of you were originally himdhus only.you were all converted to muslims by sword.just to make you msulims your family members were killed,your ladies were raped…but now your history don’t teach all those things,so originally you are himdhu,so do waht ever you want to do without any hesitation..
Who would have thought a wee little packet of fake blood could threaten to unravel an entire culture. But so great is the threat of the “Artificial Virginity Hymen” — a kit that helps women fake their virginity — that prominent Egyptian conservatives are calling for an all-out ban. Not only that, they are also demanding the exile of anyone who traffics it.
Longtime Broadsheet readers will no doubt remember the item at issue, which is made in China and sold by an online sex shop. Once inserted into the vagina, the gizmo leaks fake blood. The product hasn’t changed since I puzzled over it last year, but the price sure has: It’s selling for a pricey $30, instead of $14.90. It seems the creators have realized that, while similar technology sells for just a couple bucks at a Halloween superstore, they have hit a marketing gold mine. They’ve also hit a cultural nerve.
The kit “encourages illicit sexual relations,” declared Abdel Moati Bayoumi, a respected Egyptian religious scholar, according to the Associated Press. He added: “I think this should absolutely not be allowed to be exported because it brings more harm than benefits. Whoever does it should be punished.” On a similar note, Sheik Sayed Askar said, as the AP paraphrased it, that “the kit will make it easier for Egyptian women to give in to temptation.” On the Muslim Brotherhood Web site, he wrote: “It will be a mark of shame on the ruling party if it allowed this product to enter the market.”
If a woman in the Middle East fails to bleed on her wedding night, she can face shame, abuse and even death. Sure, many women don’t bleed when they lose their virginity. Yes, hymens are often torn through non-sexual activities. True, there exists no way to prove a woman’s virginity. But, la-la-la, they aren’t listening to any of that medically accurate naysaying! Bloody the sheet or else.
The truth is Muslim women are already artificially making that happen, regardless of whether they’re virgins (see above: Virgins don’t always bleed). Outlawing the “Artificial Virginity Hymen” won’t change that. Egyptian women will still have hymenoplasties, which are outlawed in the country but take place nonetheless, get doctors’ certification of chastity — which can be forged or real, at least to the extent that such a thing can be legitimate — or come up with a creative home remedy. Given the high stakes, this will always be the case. To think otherwise is willful denial or utter foolishness, or both.
Hi
Muslim countries in the Middle East and north-central Africa lead the world in human trafficking, according to a new U.S. State Department report. Of the 17 countries that were given the “Tier 3″ listing reserved for the worst offenders, nine were Muslim countries or countries with a large Muslim population from these two regions. Tier 3 countries are defined as those “whose governments do not fully comply with the minimum standards” of the Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008 and “are not making significant efforts to do so.”
The Middle Eastern countries with Tier 3 status are Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria. The north-central African countries are Mauritania, Chad, Sudan, Niger and Eritrea, all of which have very large Muslim populations.
Algeria, Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Iraq, Yemen, Bahrain, Qatar, the UAE and Lebanon are on the Tier 2 Watchlist – one step above Tier 3.
Shyima Hall, 19, was photographed for the State Department report in the windowless garage where she was kept for two years. Shyima was 10 when a wealthy Egyptian couple brought her from a poor village in northern Egypt to work in their home in California. She used to wake before dawn and often worked past midnight ironing clothes, mopping the marble floors and dusting the family’s crystal. She sometimes worked up to 20 hours a day and earned $45 a month. (Photo: Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
The data in the report indicates that Muslim countries in the Middle East and Africa are continuing their centuries-old practice of human trafficking. Historians estimate that between 9 and 14 million black Africans were brought to the Americas in the Atlantic slave trade and between 11 and 18 million black African slaves crossed the Red Sea, Indian Ocean, and Sahara Desert between the Muslim conquests in the 7th century and 1900.
Iran: The report says that “Iran is a source, transit, and destination for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of sexual exploitation and involuntary servitude. Iranian women are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced prostitution and forced marriage. Iranian and Afghan children living in Iran are trafficked internally for the purpose of forced marriage, commercial sexual exploitation, and involuntary servitude as beggars or laborers to pay debts, provide income, or support drug addiction of their families. Iranian women and girls are also trafficked to Pakistan, Turkey, Qatar, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Iraq, France, Germany, and the United Kingdom for commercial sexual exploitation.”
The State Department report noted that “the Government of Iran does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking, and is not making significant efforts to do so. Lack of access to Iran by U.S. Government officials impedes the collection of information on the country’s human trafficking problem and the government’s efforts to curb it.”
North Africa and Middle East: Tier 3 countries are shaded maroon. (Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
Saudi Arabia, the report says, “is a destination country for men and women trafficked for the purposes of involuntary servitude and, to a lesser extent, commercial sexual exploitation. Men and women from Bangladesh, India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan, the Philippines, Indonesia, Sudan, Ethiopia, and many other countries voluntarily travel to Saudi Arabia as domestic servants or other low-skilled laborers, but some subsequently face conditions indicative of involuntary servitude, including restrictions on movement, withholding of passports, threats, physical or sexual abuse, and non-payment of wages.
“Some Saudi men have also used legally contracted ‘temporary marriages’ in countries such as Mauritania, Yemen, and Indonesia as a means by which to sexually exploit migrant workers. Females as young as seven years old are led to believe they are being wed in earnest, but upon arrival in Saudi Arabia subsequently become their husbands’ sexual slaves, are forced into domestic labor and, in some cases, prostitution. The Government of Saudi Arabia does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making discernible efforts to do so.”
Syria is “principally a destination country for women and children trafficked for the purposes of domestic servitude and commercial sexual exploitation. Women from Iraq, Eastern Europe, former Soviet states, Somalia, and Morocco are recruited as cabaret dancers and subsequently forced into prostitution after their employers confiscate their passports and confine them to their work premises. A significant number of women and children in the large Iraqi refugee community in Syria are forced into sexual exploitation by criminal gangs or, in some cases, their families. Some desperate Iraqi families reportedly abandon their girls at the border with the expectation that traffickers on the Syrian side would arrange forged documents for the children and ‘work’ in a nightclub or brothel. Iraqi families arrange for young girls to work in clubs and to be “married,” often multiple times, to men for the sole purpose of prostitution.”
Africa: Tier 3 countries are shaded maroon. (Traffic in Persons Report 2009).
In Kuwait, the majority of trafficking victims are from among the over 500,000 foreign women recruited for domestic service work. “Men and women migrate from Nepal, India, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Bangladesh in search of work in the domestic and sanitation industries. Although they migrate willingly to Kuwait, upon arrival some are subjected to conditions of forced labor from their ‘sponsors’ and labor agents, such as withholding of passports, confinement, physical sexual abuse and threats of such abuse or other serious harm, and non-payment of wages with the intent of compelling their continued service.”
“Adult female migrant workers are particularly vulnerable, and consequently are often victims of sexual exploitation and forced prostitution. There have been instances of domestic workers who have fled from their employers, lured by the promise of well-paying service industry jobs, and being coerced into prostitution. In other cases, the terms of employment in Kuwait are wholly different from those agreed to in their home countries. The Government of Kuwait does not fully comply with the minimum standards for the elimination of trafficking and is not making sufficient efforts to do so
Prophet Muhammad S.A.W Wives
May God be pleased with her, was the first among the Prophet’s wives. At the time of her marriage, she was forty years old and Muhammad, upon him be peace, was twenty-five. She was the mother of all his children except a son, Ibrahim, who did not live long. As well as being a wife, Khadija was also a friend to her husband, the sharer of his inclinations and ideals to a remarkable degree. Their marriage was wonderfully blessed; they lived together in profound harmony for twenty-three years. Through every contumely and outrage heaped upon him by the idolaters, through every persecution, Khadija was his dearest companion and helper. He loved her very deeply and did not marry any other woman during her lifetime. This marriage is the ideal of intimacy, friendship, mutual respect, support and consolation, for all marriages. Though faithful and loyal to all his wives, he never forgot Khadija after her death and mentioned her virtues and merits extensively on many occasions. The Prophet did not marry for another four to five years after Khadija’s death. Providing their daily food and provisions, bearing their troubles and hardships, Muhammad, upon him be peace, looked after his children and performed the duties of mother as well as father. To allege of such a man that he was a sensualist or suffered from lust for women, is as disgraceful and as stupid a lie as can be imagined. For if there were even the least grain of truth in it, he could not have lived as we know that he did.
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‘A’isha
May God be pleased with her, was his second wife, though not in the order of marriages. She was the daughter of his closest friend and devoted follower, Abu Bakr. Abu Bakr, one of the earliest converts to Islam had long hoped to cement the deep attachment that existed between himself and the Prophet, by giving to him his daughter in marriage. By marrying ‘A’isha the Prophet accorded the highest honour and courtesy to a man who had shared all the good and bad times with him throughout his mission.
‘A’isha, who proved to be a remarkably intelligent and wise woman, had both the nature and temperament to carry forward the work of Prophetic mission. Her marriage was the schooling through which she was prepared as a spiritual guide and teacher to the whole of the female world. She became one of the major students and disciples of the Prophet and through him, like so many of the Muslims of that blessed time, her skills and talents were matured and perfected, so that she joined him in the abode of bliss both as wife and as student. Her life and her services to Islam after her marriage prove that such an exceptional person was worthy to be the wife of the Prophet. For, when the time came, she proved herself one of the greatest authorities on Hadith, an excellent commentator on the Qur’an and a most distinguished and knowledgeable expert (faqih) in Islamic law. She truly represented the inward and outward qualities and experiences (zahir and batin) of the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace, through her unique understanding.
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Umm Salama
May God be pleased with her, was from the clan of Makhzum. She was first married to her cousin. The couple had embraced Islam at the very beginning and emigrated to Abyssinia, to avoid the persecutions of the Quraysh. After returning from Abyssinia, the couple and their four children migrated to Madina. Her husband participated in many battles and received severe wounds at the battle of Uhud from which he later died. Abu Bakr and ‘Umar proposed marriage to Umm Salama, aware of her needs and suffering as a widow with children to support and no means of doing so. She refused because, according to her judgement, no one could be better than her late husband.
Some time after that, the Prophet himself offered to marry her. This was quite right and natural. For this great woman, who had never shied from sacrifice and suffering for her faith in Islam, was now alone after having lived many years in the noblest clan of Arabia. She could not be neglected and left to beg her way in life. Considering her piety, sincerity and all that she had suffered, she certainly deserved to be helped. By taking her into his household, the Prophet was doing what he had been doing since his youth, namely befriending those who were lacking in friends, supporting those who were unsupported, protecting those who were unprotected.
Umm Salama was intelligent and quick in comprehension just as ‘A’isha was. She had all the capacities and gifts to become a spiritual guide and teacher. When the gracious and compassionate Prophet took her under his protection, a new student to whom all the female world would be grateful, was accepted into the school of knowledge and guidance. Let us recall that, at this time, the Prophet was approaching the age of sixty. For him to have married a widow with many children, to have accepted the expenses and responsibilities that entailed, cannot be understood otherwise than in humble admiration for the infinite reserves of his humanity and compassion.
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Umm Habiba
May God be pleased with her, was the daughter of Abu Sufyan who, for a long time had been the most determined enemy of the Prophet’s mission, and the most determined supporter of kufr (unbelief). Yet his daughter was one of the earliest converts to Islam. She emigrated to Abyssinia because of persecution by the unbelievers. Whilst there, her husband died and she was all alone, and desperate, in exile.
The Companions of the Prophet were then few in number and had little in the way of material wealth to support themselves, let alone to support others. What then were the practical options open to Umm Habiba? She might convert to Christianity in Abyssinia and so obtain support from the Christians, but that was unthinkable. She might return to her father’s home, now a headquarters of the war against Islam, but that too was unthinkable. She might wander from household to household as a beggar, but again it was an unthinkable option for one who belonged to one of the richest and noblest Arab families to bring shame upon her family name by doing so.
God recompensed Umm Habiba for all that she lost or sacrificed in the way of Islam. She had suffered a lonely exile in an insecure environment among people of a race and religion different from her own; she was made wretched too by her husband’s death. The Prophet, on learning of her plight, responded by sending an offer of marriage through the king Negus. This was an action both noble and generous, and a practical proof of the verse: We have not sent you save as a mercy for all creatures (al-Anbiya’, 21.107).
Through this marriage, the powerful family of Abu Sufyan came to be linked with the person and household of the Prophet, something that led them to adopt a different attitude to Islam. It is also correct to trace the influence of this marriage, beyond the family of Abu Sufyan, on all the Umayyads, who ruled the Muslims for almost a hundred years. The clan whose members had been the most fanatical in their hatred of Islam produced some of Islam’s most renowned warriors, administrators and governors in the early period. Without doubt it was the marriage to Umm Habiba that began this change: the Prophet’s depth of generosity and magnanimity of soul surely overwhelmed them.
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Zaynab bint Jahsh
May God be pleased with her, was also a lady of noble birth, descended and a close relative of the Prophet. She was, moreover, a woman of great piety, who fasted much, kept long vigils, and gave generously to the poor. When the Prophet asked for the hand of Zaynab for Zayd, Zaynab’s family and Zaynab herself were at first unwilling. The family had hoped to marry their daughter to the Prophet. Naturally, when they realized that it was the Prophet’s wish that Zaynab should marry Zayd, they all consented out of deference to their love for the Prophet and his authority. In this way, the marriage took place.
Zayd had been taken captive as a child in the course of tribal wars and sold as a slave. The noble Khadija whose slave he was, presented him to Muhammad, upon him be peace, on the occasion of her marriage to the future Prophet. The Prophet immediately gave Zayd his freedom and shortly afterwards adopted him as his son. The reason for his insistence on Zayd’s marriage to Zaynab was to establish and fortify equality between the Muslims, to make this ideal a reality. His desire was to break down the ancient Arab prejudice against a slave or even freedman marrying a ‘free-born’ woman. The Prophet was therefore starting this hard task with his own relatives.
The marriage did not bring happiness to either Zaynab or Zayd. Zaynab, the lady of noble birth, was a good Muslim of a most pious and exceptional quality. Zayd, the freedman, was among the first to embrace Islam, and he too was a good Muslim. Both loved and obeyed the Prophet, but their marriage was unsustainable because of their mutual incompatibility. Zayd found it no longer tolerable and on several occasions expressed the wish to divorce. The Prophet, however, insisted that he should persevere with patience and that he should not separate from Zaynab. Then, on an occasion while the Prophet was in conversation, the Angel Gabriel came and a Divine Revelation was given to him (Bukhari, Tawhid, 22). The Prophet’s marriage to Zaynab was announced in the revealed verses as a bond already contracted: We have married her to you (al-Ahzab, 33.37). This command was one of the severest trials the Prophet had yet had to face. For he was commanded to do a thing contrary to the traditions of his people, indeed it was a taboo. Yet it had to be done for the sake of God, just as God commanded. ‘A’isha later said: Had the Messenger of God been inclined to suppress anything of what was revealed to him, he would surely have suppressed this verse (Bukhari and Muslim).
Zaynab proved herself most worthy to be the Prophet’s wife; she was always aware of the responsibilities as well as the courtesies proper to her role, and fulfilled those responsibilities to universal admiration.
In the jahiliyyah, an adopted son was regarded as a natural son, and an adopted son’s wife was therefore regarded as a natural son’s wife would be. According to the Qur’anic verse, those who have been ‘wives of your sons proceeding from your loins’ fall within the prohibited degrees of marriage. But this prohibition does not relate to adopted sons with whom there is no real consanguinity. What now seems obvious was not so then. The pagan taboo against marrying the former wives of adopted sons was deeply rooted. It was to uproot this custom that the Prophet’s marriage to Zaynab was commanded by the Revelation.
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Juwayriya bint Harith
May God be pleased with her, was one of a large number of captives taken by Muslims in a military expedition. She was the daughter of Harith, chief of the defeated Banu Mustaliq clan. She was held captive, like other members of her proud family, alongside the ‘common’ people of her clan. When Juwayriya was taken to the Prophet, upon him be peace, she was in considerable distress, not least because her kinsmen had lost everything and her emotions were a profound hate and enmity toward the Muslims. The Prophet understood the wounded pride and dignity and the suffering of this woman; more than that he understood also, in his sublime wisdom, how to resolve the problem and heal that wounded pride. He agreed to pay her ransom, set her free and offered to take her as his wife. How gladly Juwayriya accepted this offer can easily be imagined.
About a hundred families, who had not yet been ransomed, were all set free when the Ansar (the Helpers) and the Muhajirun (the Emigrants) came to realize that the Bani Mustaliq were now among the Prophet’s kin by marriage. A tribe so honoured could not be allowed to remain in slavery (Ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 6,277). In this way the hearts of Juwayriyah and all her people were won.
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Safiyya
May God be pleased with her, was the daughter of Huyayy, one of the chieftains of the Jewish tribe of Khaybar, who had persuaded the Bani Qurayza to break their treaty with the Prophet. From her earliest years she saw her family and relatives determined in opposition to the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings. She had lost her father, brother and husband at the hands of Muslims, and herself became one of their captives. The attitudes and actions of her family and relatives might have nurtured in her a deep indignation against the Muslims and a desire for revenge. But three days before the Prophet, upon him be peace, arrived at Khaybar, and Safiyya fell captive in the battle, she had seen in a dream a brilliant moon coming out from Madina, moving towards Khaybar, and falling into her lap. She later said: ‘When I was captured I began to hope that my dream would come true.’ When she was brought before him as a captive, the Prophet generously set her free and offered her the choice between remaining a Jew and returning to her people or entering Islam and becoming his wife. ‘I chose God and his Messenger’, she said. Shortly after that, they were married.
Elevated to the Prophet’s household she had the title of ‘mother of the believers’. The Companions of the Prophet honoured and respected her as ‘mother’; she witnessed at first hand the refinement and true courtesy of the men and women whose hearts and minds were submitted to God. Her attitude to her past experiences changed altogether, and she came to appreciate the great honour of being the Prophet’s wife. As a result of this marriage, the attitude of many Jews changed as they came to see and know the Prophet closely.
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Sawda bint Zam‘a
May God be pleased with her, was the widow of one Sakran. Sakran and Sawdah were among the first to embrace Islam and had been forced to emigrate to Abyssinia to escape the persecution of the idolaters. Sakran died in exile and left his wife utterly destitute. As the only means of assisting the poor woman, the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace, though himself distressed for the means of daily subsistence, married Sawda. This marriage took place some time after the death of the noble Khadija.
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Hafsa
May God be pleased with her, was the daughter of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, the future second Caliph of Islam. This good lady had lost her husband who emigrated to both Abyssinia and Madina and who died of wounds received in battle in the path of God. She remained without a husband for a while. ‘Umar also desired, like Abu Bakr, the honour and blessing of being close to the Prophet in this world and in the Hereafter, so that the Prophet, upon him be peace, took Hafsa as his wife so as to protect and help the daughter of his faithful disciple.
Such were the circumstances and noble motives of the several marriages of the Prophet Muhammad, upon him be peace. We see that these marriages were intended to provide helpless or widowed women with dignified subsistence in the absence of all other means; to console and honour enraged or estranged tribes people, to bring those who had been enemies into some degree of relationship and harmony; to gain for the cause of Islam certain uniquely gifted individuals, in particular some exceptionally talented women; to establish new norms of relationship between different people within the unifying brotherhood of faith in God; and to honour with family bonds the men who were to be the first leaders of the Muslim ummah after him. These marriages had nothing at all to do with self-indulgence or personal desire or lust or any other of the absurd and vile charges laid against the Prophet by Islam’s embittered enemies. With the exception of ‘A’isha, all of the Prophet’s wives were widows, and all his marriages (after that with the noble Khadijah) were contracted when he was already an old man. Far from being acts of self-indulgence then, these marriages were acts of self-discipline.
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In order to read my posts you should read in reverse order since my can not post all things at a time.
4. History of Womens’ Status
There were exceptions to the rule, even during the Vedic Dark Ages following the collapse of the Indus civilization. Eastern India (Purvadesha), including Bengal, with its majority Mon-Khmer population, was only slightly Aryanized. The Shakti cult(mother-goddess) predominated (75 % of all the idolatrous population is sill Shaktis), and women here had a much higher degree of freedom. Thus for instance they were not required to wear the veil. Shakti (or Tantric) cults involved the worship of women, and the acceptance of their supremacy. Needless to say, the Shakti cult was only limited to Bengal and Assam. The Dravidian women were also freeer. Malabar was a center of the Tantric form of the Shiva-Shakti cult, and matriarchal customs still prevail. Till recently, polyandry existed.
Besides these two islands, the rest of India confirmed to the picture given above. This lasted until the establishment of the Islamic Califate of Hindustan in the 12th century AD. Muslims came to form more than 50 % of the population of Hindustan proper (India north of the Narmada), and under Islam the status of women improved considerably.
In modern times the degradation of womens’ status is related to the rise in Hindu Fundamentalism (in actual fact a thinly disguised form of Aryan Fanaticism). The extremist organizations that comprise the Sangh Parivar (BJP, RSS, Bajrang Dal, Ranvir Sena, VHPetc.) are reviving the practice of Sati, dowry, female infanticide etc. in various parts of India. Thus, in modern times the status of women has declined sharply due to the activities of Hindu (ie. Aryan) Fundamentalist organizations. A wife, a son, a slave , these are declared to have no property; the wealth which they earn is (acquired) for him to whom theybelong. Manu 8.416 Manu 8.299 [ A wife, a son, a slave, a pupil and a (younger) broher of the full blood, who have committed faluts, may be beaten with a rope or a split babmboo. 9.77 ? WHen he crearted them) Manu allotted to women (a love of theur) bed, (of their( seat nd (of) ornament, impure desires, wrath, dishonesty, malice and bad conduct
Killing of public women qs not considered a grave crime [ Nand 28 ] [ Hopkins 282 ] [ Basham 187] Dress – Vedic women wore paridhanam and vasahantaram [ Nand 28 ] [ Altekar 279-81 ] later dress: uttariya( upper portion), kancuka (bodice)and candetaka(petticoat) sari later times worn. Johar [Nand 177-8 ] Muh Tughlaq opposed sati [ nand 173 ]
4. Religion The ascetic emphasis in Aryan Indian religious life led to an extremely negative attitude towards women.
4.1 Aryan Vaishnaviasm
4.1.1 Vedic Vaishanvism –
Women in the Vedic period were harshly treated, as depicted above. The presence of sati was common.
4.1.2 Buddhism and Jainism – Buddhism and Jainism were both protest movements against the Vedic Vaishnava system. However, they did not lead to any major changes in the status of women. This was due to the emphasis placed by these religions on asceticism. Thus, although sati was opposed by these reformers, yet women were considered as hurdles on the path to liberation. The Buddha was very strict in his insistence on asceticism. He left his home and wife to become attain nirvana and considered women a hindrance to that goal –
“Buddha is said to have induced his disciples not to look at a woman or even talk to her”
— [ Sacred Books of the East,XI p.91 cited in N.N.Bhatt p.44 ]
4.1.3 Vaishnavism –
Women are generally termed as thieves, dacoits, pirates, thirsty tigresses and hypocrite cats in the medieval Nath literature. [ Obsc 245 ] Chaitanya was one of the major saints during the medieval period. He spread Vaishnavism in Eastern India, but aroused the opprobation of the Orthodox Aryan-Vaishnavas because he allowed `conversion’ from lower castes. Even this `liberal’ man hadhighly negative opinions of women:
“Chaitanya thought it to be a sin to talk, think or even dream of women and that even the sight of a wooden statue of a woman can distract the mind and beresponsible for immorality. He advised people to avoid being alone even with their own mother , sister or daughter.”
— [Nand 124-127] After all, Chaitanya was a Vaihnavite. Gandhi’s insistence on strict vegetarianism and celibacy among his disciples was in keeping with the traditions of Vaishnava ascetic ethics [EB 20:528:2a] Gandhi ordered many of the erotic temple sculptures ofIndia to be destroyed. ` [A Vedic Graduate] should not look at a naked woman.’ [Manu 8:453] `Leta decent man ever avoid by night… a loose woman’ [V.P. Book III Ch. XII p. 250 ]
` In the Buddhist Age, a slave-girl who was obliged to sleep with her master, was often deprived of her nose and ears by her mistress and there was no lawto protect her.’
— [ Jain 162]
4.2 Dravidian Shaivism
Dravidian women enjoyed much greater freedom than their Aryancounterparts.
4.3 Repression and Perversions: Incest
Due to the strict restrictions and regulations one feature arose that is apparently more common in Aryan society than in any other part of the world: incest. References to this practice abound. Often the girls were unwilling, but were then forced by their brothers/fathers.
References abound even in the Rg Veda, showing that the perversion of brother-sister incest was introduced by the Aryas :
*. Pushan is the lover of his sister [ Rg Ved VI.55.4 ] [ Apte 11 ]
*. Agni is the lover of his own sister [ Rg Ved X.3.3 ] [ Apte 11]
*. Ashvins are referred to as the sons of Savitar and Ushas who are brother and sister [ Apte 11].
*. The Ashvisns married Surya andSavitri who is their sister [ RV I.116.19 ].
*. Agni is the son of his fatehr and his sister [ Rg Ved.I.91.7 ]
*. Yama wards off his sister Yami,saying marriage between brother and sister is forbidden [ R.V.X.10 ] [ Apte 11 ]
Father-daughter incest occurs in the famous story of Prajapati (later identified with Brahma, in tunr incorporated as an incarnation of Vishnu) and his daughter [ RV III.31.1-2 ]. Moreover, this was punished. Prajapati is thought to have donesomething wrong, and Prajapati was pierced by Agni as a punishment [ Sat.Br. XIII.9 ] [ Apte63 ].
It is evident that the strict laws on male-female relations led to the repression of normal practiesand the rise of various perversions like brother-sister incest, father-daughter incest etc.Even to this day incest of varying degrees (cross-cousin, father-daughter, mother-son, brother-sister, etc.) is extremely common amongst the Indo-Aryans. No other race on earth has ever recorded such a prevalance of this practice. Just as sodomy has its home in Persia,Lesbianism in ancient Lesbos, so incest has its home amongst the Indo-Aryans.
3.1.2 Aryan Sati Goddesses The Arya origin of sati is evident from the fact that several Aryan ladies and `goddesses’ performedsati :
*. Several of Krishna’s wives performed sati upon his death, including Rukmini, Rohini, Devaki, Bhadraa and Madura [ M.Bh. Mausalaparvan 7.18 ] [ Alld.Ch. 977, 1018-1019: Rukmini ]
*. Madri, second wife of Pandu, considered an incarnation of the goddess Dhriti, performed sati [ M.Bh. Adiparvan 95.65 ] [ Alld Ch 985 ]
*. Rohini, a wife of Vasudev, Krishna’s father, who gave birth to Balram ( Devki’s child ) and later became a sati. [ Alld. Ch. 1018 ]
” The 8 queens of Krishna, who have been named, with Rukmini at their head, embraced the body of Hari, and entered the funeral fire. Revati also embracing the corpse of Rama, entered the blazing pile, which was cool to her, happy incontact with her lord. Hearing these events, Ugrasena and Anakadundubhi, with Devaki and Rohini, committed themselves to the flames.”
— [ Vishnu Pur. 5.38 ] [ Vishnu Pur. {Wilson} p.481 ]
3.1.3 Ancient Travallers’ Accounts Even ancient observers mentioned the practice of sati. Alexander the Great and the Greeks observed Sati in Punjab [ Onescrites in Strabo xv.i.ch 30 ] [ Barth 59 ]. The Greek Diodorus Siculus who lived in the 1st century BC, mentioned the practice of sati in his account of the Punjab in the 4th century BC [ EB 11:421 ]. Indigenous historical evidence substantiates this, for
` The earliest recorded historical instance of sati is that of the wife of the Hindu general Keteus,who died in 316 B.C. while fighting against Antigonos. Both his wives were eager to perform sati, but as the elder one was with child, only the younger one alone was allowed to carry out her wish.’
— [Sheth 104] The sati was customary for the widows of Kshatriyas in the end of the first century BC [ Strabo XV.ch.700.30 ] [ Harper 273 ]. Sati was performed by all the Aryan races, for it is recorded that the Germanic tribes used to immolatethe widows of chieftain to accompany the husband to Valhalla [ Harper 273 ] [ Davidson 150 ]. The Arab writer Alberuni mentioned the practice of sati among the `Hindus’. [ AlBer. U II.LXIX; II.LXXIII; Sachau ii p.155, iip.170 ]
” She [ the widow ] has only to choose between two things – either to remain a widow as longas ashe lives, or to burn herself, and the latter eventuality is considered preferable … As regards the wives of kings, they are in the habit of burning them whether they wish it or not.”
— [ AlBer. II.LXIX ] [ Sachau II.p.155 ]
`Nicolo deo Contei states that as many as 3000 of the wives and concubines of the kings of Vijayanagar were pledged to be burnt with their lord on his death[and often ministers and palace servants accompanied the king indeath]’
— [Basham 188] Strangely the practice increased in popularity in Bengal during theBritish expansion, despite the best efforts of Ram Mohan Roy to stop it [ Harper 273 ]. This is also confirmed by the Abbe DuBois –
” [Sati] is more in vogue on the banks of th Ganges, [while] in Bengal Presidency [only] 706 suttees occurred in 1817 [and in] the Madras Presidency [out of] 30 million inhabitants not 30 allow themselves to be burnt each year.”
— [DuBois 357]
`[the wife] must, on the death of her husband, allow herself to be burnt alive on the same funeral pyre [of her husband]’
— [DuBois 345] Sati still continues to this day. In 1990, more than 50 widows were burnt alive in sati. [ Sonali Verma, Reuter, 12 August 1997, New Delhi ]
3.1.4 Bizarre Hypotheses
Several bizarre hypothese have been set forth to explain the occurrence of sati, often with less than honest intentions.
Corruption : Another silly ntion is that the custom of sati started when `Hindu’ society started to `degenerate’. If so, then why do the Vedas take this custom for granted? Why did Krishna’s wives perform sati? Are we to then conclude that Krishna, an incarnation of Vishnu himself, was a corrupt `Hindu’? Again, where did this corruption come from? When did it start? If some outsiders, then it must be one of the Greeks, Bactrians, etc. But they came 1000 years after Krishna! Krishna was one of the earliest Aryan figures, and this story could hence have not been an invention, since the Aryans were very scared of altering anything in their tradition. Hence the Aryans stand condemned for introducing sati.
Islamic Califate and Sati : One far-fetched idea ascribes the origin of sati as being due to the molestation of `Hindu’ women byMuslim men. Needless to say, this would imply the existence of muslims to molest Krishna’s wives, Madri and the galaxy of Vedic Aryan women who performed self-immolation. It also overlooks the accounts by ancient Greeks and Arabs on the prevalence of sati. In fact, the Muslim emperors took active steps to abolish sati. (eg. Ghiyasudin, Akbar, Muhammed Tughlaq) and the Sufi saints condemned it
2.2.1 Amputation of Ears and Noses
Aryan husbands cut off the ears and nose of their wives if they left the house without their priorpermission. The Pancatantra mentions one such story [ Pancatantra p.54, I.7th story `TheWeaver’s Wife’]. The weaver cut off his wife’s nose because she did not respond and he considered her infaithful. (actually he cut off the barber’s wife’s nose who was there instead. ) The Ramayana and LordRama practiced the cutting off of womens’ noses for minor offences, thereby providing divine sanction for the custom. Shurpanakha was a Dravidian lady ( referred to as `Rakshis’ or demonesses by the Aryans ) whofell in love with Rama. She proposed to him, but he directed her to his brother Laxman. He cutoff her ears and nose for this crime, and Ram condoned this act. [ Alld Chmbrs 1036 ]
2.2.2 Death Penalty
The death penalty was prescribed for Aryan women guilty of infidelity. The Manu Smrti, the most authoritative Indo-Aryan law-book, states
` When a woman, proud of her relations [or abilities] deceives her husband ( with another man), then the king should [ensure that] she be torn apart by dogs in place much frequented by people ‘ [Manu Smrti 8:371] ` And the evil man should be burnt in a bed of red-hot iron ‘
[Manu Smrti 8:371-2]
` VIII.371. If a wife, proud of the greatness of her relatives or (her own) excellence, violates the duty which she owes to her lord, the king shall cause her to be devoured by dogs in a place frequented by many. VIII.372. Lethim cause the male offender to be burnt on a red-hot iron bed; they shall put logs under it, (until)the sinner is burned (to death).’
[Manu Smrti Buhler VIII 371-372] That this custom was prevalent in the 9the century is confirmed by Arab reports. Merchant Sulaiman, an Arab traveller of the 9th century states that
“If any man in the indies runs away with a wife and abuses herbody they kill both him and the woman, unless it be proved that she was forced, then the man only is punished with death; but if the woman consented to the evil deed, they are punished withdeath, both one and the other.”‘
— [ Arab p.56 ] Ram, the ideal husband, showed little regard to female life. Ram killed Tataka, a “Rakshi” [ Alld Chmbrs 1048 ].
Infidelity to husband was considered a grave sin and it wasbelieved that such women went to Aksaya hell [Br.P. 87.61 in Sheth 98]. The husband had the power to curse the wife who was disloyal to him. Thus the sage Gautama cursed his wife Ahalya for sleeping with Indra though through no fault of her own. [Sheth 99]
[ In the Kautilyan period ] if a woman was found guilty of a carnal crime her generative organs were cut off and she wasultimately sentenced to death [ Arth.IV.13 in Jain p.164 ], although it is not clear whether this was only for intercourse with slaves. Not only that, but adultery is defined as the simple touching ofclothes and even conversing with men:
VIII. 356. ” He who addresses the wife of another man at a Tirtha, outside the village, in a forest, or at the confluence of rivers, suffer (the punishment for) adulterous acts (samgrahana).
357. Offering presents (to a woman), romping (with her), touching her ornaments and dress, sitting with her on a bed, all (these acts) are considered adulterous acts (samgrahana).
358. If one touches a woman in aplace (which ought) not (to be touched) or allows (oneself to be touched in such a spot), all (such acts done) with mutual consent are declared (to be) adulterous (samgrahana).”
— [ Manu VIII.356-358 ]
2.3 RESTRICTIONS ON WOMEN
2.3.1 No Property Women and Sudras can, in the Aryan-Vaishnava system, have no property:
A wife, a son, and a slave, these three are declared to have no property; the wealth which they earn is (acquired) for him to whom they belong.
A Brahmana may confidently seize the goods of (his) Sudra (slave); for, as that (slave) can have no property, his master may take his possessions.
— [ Manu VIII.416-417 ]
Aryan-Vaishnavism (Hinduism) is the most oppressive system on record in its suppression of women. From conception to death, woman had to suffer in uncountable ways (details after the basic section) :
*. Child Marriage – Girls are to be married when 5 years old !
*. Dowry – Vedas prescribe this pracitice
*. Bride-Burning – if the dowry is insufficient
*. No Property
*. Mass Wife-Burning (Jauhar) – Often 100s are burnt at a time.
*. Widow-Burning (Sati) – Sanctioned by the Vedas, Puranas, practiced by Krishna’s wives, it still continues.1.1 FEMALE INFANTICIDE
Female infanticide arose from thegeneral Vedic attitude towards women. The large dowries prescribed by the Vedas (see the section of dowries below) meantthat a girl was seen as a burden. The woman who gave birth to a daughter was ashamed, and much stigma attached to a lady who only gae birth to daughters. Hence infanticide arose as a convenient way of getting rid ofthe burden.
Holy Aryan texts sanction this custom:
“Tasmat striyam jatam parasyantiut pumamsam haranti”
” Hence they rejet a female child when born, and take up a male.”
— [ Taitt. Samh. VI.5.10.3 ] [ Muir I 26 ]
A recent U.N. report said that up to 50 million girls and women were missing from India’s population, the reslut of systematic discrimination extending to the abortion of female fetuses. [ Verma 12.8.97 ] In 1921 there were more than 97women for every 100 men in India. Seventy years later, the number dropped to 92.7 [ Verma 12.8.97 ]
1.2 CHILD-MARRIAGE
Child marriage of daughters 5-6 yold was common due to the custom of dowry and to avoid scandals [ Nand 17 ] [ Basham 167-8 ] [ Yadav 70 ] [ Altekar 16 ] [ Banerjee 70 ]. Lawbooks prescribe that the best partner for a man in one-third his age. Thus a man 18 year old should marry a girl 6 years old! –
” A man, aged thirty years, shall marry a maiden of twelve who pleases him, or a man of twenty-four a girl of eight years of age; if (the performance of) his dutieswould otherwise be impeded, he must marry sooner.” [ Manu IX.94] This was meant to prevent any scandals. Narada states that someof the defects to be avoided in brides are if they already had a relationship with another man orhave their minds set on another, they should not be selected [Sheth 67]. I
2. Wives
2.1 BURNING OF WOMEN
2.1.2 Bride-Burning This is often related to dowry, when the bride’s family cannot pay up to the amount demanded by the in-laws. Often the in-laws make demands in excess of thosemade at the time of marriage. When the deadline specified runsout, the bride is burned in often gruesome fashions. At least 5000women die each year for not bringing in enough dowry. At least a dozen women die each day in `kitchen fires’, which are often passed off as accidents, because their in-laws are not satisfied with their dowries. Onlya few of the murderers are brought to justice. [ Kitchen 1997]
2.1.2 Wife-Burning
An Aryan husband could at any time accuse his wife of infidelity.In case the wife protests her innocence, the council of village elders would then order an ordeal by fire. The accused wife would be required to pass through a blazing flame. Not just death, but any signs of burns would be taken as a sign of guilt and the wife would then have toundergo the penalty for infidelity [ EB 8:986 `ordeal’ ]. Adultery carries the death sentence in Aryan law, so either way she would have to pay withher life for her husband’s or elders’ mere suspicions.
The ideal role model for this custom was Sita, Ram’s wife. She was required by her spouse, the `ideal husband’ of the `Hindus’, topass through the fire ordeal afterher return from Sri Lanka.
2.1.3 Jauhar – Variant of Sati Jauhar refers to the practice of the mass burning of all the wivesand daughters in an entire town/district to prevent them from falling into the hands of theenemies. Often the husbands forced their unwilling spouses, sometimes the women practiced it themselves, encouraged by the elders. It is merely a variant of sati, since it occurred in anticipation of the womens’ widowhood. See the section of sati for details by clicking here .
2.1.4 Witch-Burning The burning of witches during the Vedic Dark Ages of Indian History ( 1500 BC – 500 BC ) and the later Puranic Dark Ages ( 100 AD-1000 AD ) makes the European Medieval ecclesiastical witch-hunts pale in comparison.
2.1.5 Widow-Burning (Sati) See 3.1, by clicking here .
2.2 PUNISHMENT OF WOMEN
The wife could suffer corporal punishemnt for very minor offences.
Welcome in the great religion of Hinduism.
kktiwari says:
May 3, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Wellcome to open sky of Vedic Dharm.
Please go through the teaching of vediv Dharma and traditions of praying god through pooja/mantra/yoga/Karma/fastivals and so many other ways as per your choice. But correct your concept as under:-
There is no religion named hindusim, this is the notation given by arabs to the Arayans living in Indian subcontinent for their own understanding.
we are not follower of any religion because religion has limits.
We are follower of Dharma which is universal self evaluating and based on natures lawa, which has unlimited scope of human progress till gods Experience within ourself.It has freedem/choices/joy of life with gods love. God is a subject of love and purity. God will not punish us only our karma will result.Teaching of vedic dharma tels us about dharma and adharma (Good&Bad) but leaves decision on us to practice what you want. So freedem of thought and practice of karma is ours. praying God will give us good thoughts/good karma/love and this results as beautiful life full of progress joy and love and peace.
Please go through “Bhagwat Geeta” throughly at least to live on this earth.
Krishna Kumar Tiwari
All the stories under islamic name are fake and do not believe in them. Thouse women who marry outside islamic faith did not remain muslims and will get hell fire. To learn about islam vist http://www.usislam.org
Hey Hi Heena,
Its really good to hear that you have found Love of your life, and you want to be with him at any cost. I really don’t think that your marriage or Vivaah is needed for you to be with your love. I say that its love that gives you true happiness then why don’t you two respect, worship and celebrate the love that you two have in between. Consider conversion if and only if you truly adhere to Hindu teachings and just to tell you there is no as such conversion process in Hindus, even when a newborn comes in a Hindu family he/she is automatically Hindu whereas Muslims and Christians have Shahdah and Baptism.
So respect and worship your Love cuz thats God and its gonna help you in all your endeavours.
For any further questions please feel free to contact me.
Best wishes
Prateek,
Just to let you know, that those born in non-Hindu families can convert to Hinduism as this process of Shuddhi has been practised ever since ancient times. During the period of Alexander (326 B.C) Bactrians, Parthians and later Hunas, Kushanas etc were brought back to Hindu fold. Even today Arya samaj and ISKCON do it. Also, in USA, Hinduismtoday.com converts the non-Hindus to Hinduism. The evangelists and the Wahabis along with the secularists have spread that non Hindus cannot convert6 to Hinduism.
So, if Heena is interested, she can contact Arya Samaj by searching on google to find the nearest branch, if she is really interested. Of course, she must give a serious thought before going ahead as it’s a life changing event.
Hi Heena,
This is Nafishah from Suva island of Fiji in pacific ocean. Me a working girl of 21years in a Suva hotel. About 60% population of the country belong to Hindus migrated several years and muslim just 5-9% only, doing low profile jobs. I have a Hindu BF, my immediate boss, very sensitive and caring to me. Visits my house too and meets my parents. He has proposed me to marry , which I have accepted and conveyed to my parents. My parents little hesitant, but considering the scope of suitable muslim match is very difficult. I have learnt a lot about Hinduism and like their teachings. I shall convert to Hinduism after marriage. I have ready so much evils of islamic religion, it is not so cruel but muslim brides feel insecure after marriage. The evil of virginity for a bride is also prevalent here and that type of attitude, I feel shame on the islamic religion.
Reply to Nafishah at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4096
Wellcome to open sky of Vedic Dharm.
Please go through the teaching of vediv Dharma and traditions of praying god through pooja/mantra/yoga/Karma/fastivals and so many other ways as per your choice. But correct your concept as under:-
There is no religion named hindusim, this is the notation given by arabs to the Arayans living in Indian subcontinent for their own understanding.
we are not follower of any religion because religion has limits.
We are follower of Dharma which is universal self evaluating and based on natures lawa, which has unlimited scope of human progress till gods Experience within ourself.It has freedem/choices/joy of life with gods love. God is a subject of love and purity. God will not punish us only our karma will result.Teaching of vedic dharma tels us about dharma and adharma (Good&Bad) but leaves decision on us to practice what you want. So freedem of thought and practice of karma is ours. praying God will give us good thoughts/good karma/love and this results as beautiful life full of progress joy and love and peace.
Please go through “Bhagwat Geeta” throughly at least to live on this earth.
Krishna Kumar Tiwari