jugnoo says: April 14, 2016 at 5:35 pm
I am in love with a christian guy. And ever since my family found out, I want to leave for the hell they made for me.
I am a Muslim girl, he is a Christian guy. He came to see me several times and I skipped my job to see him and spend time with him. My parents are Pakistani and respected in society. My sibling found out I was seeing him and they took everything away from me. Emotionally tortured me saying things that I wanted to kill them all for this guy. I cannot make a decision on my own for my well-being ever. They have a guy picked out for me who does not want to marry me, he wants to marry his girlfriend. My siblings continuously tell me that I am a disgrace and they are disgusted by me. I have money and a small degree, he works and has a very nice job too. I can’t cry in this house, I have to always do something told by everyone. I don’t know -Jugnoo
jugnoo says: May 18, 2016 at 6:18 am
my family will never agree, My parents lashed out on just finding out about this. Everything I had was taken away even college for a month. I want that guy to reject, but i don’t have anyone in family who i can talk to about. My family will never even consider this marriage no matter what. I want to leave so I can live my life the way I want and the way a human being should be. Not living under orders and commands of everyone. He loves me and I love him like I have never loved anyone. I imagine a future where my kids have the freedom of deciding their lives and not growing up like me. I can’t imagine a future without him. It kills me to even type it. -Jugnoo
Also read if in relations with a Christian: Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
Also read if in relationship with a Muslim: Islamic Women Today, Muta, HRS, wife-beating, Muhammad, Hadith, Koran, Inter-race marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl/boy, Muslim girl/boy, Christian-Muslim marriages,
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Christian-Hindu Daughter Will End Up Confused
Hi there, this weekend is nice in favor of me, since this occasion i
am reading this impressive educational paragraph here at my house.
Hi Clay,
Are you in an interfaith relationship?
hi! i read above all the mail. i have a one question as same. i am not a relationship,make it true.now i have two sons and happy married life.i am from Bangladesh. it is Muslim country.we want to move Malaysia whole family, let me know is it possible to live in Malaysia as mixed marriage family.
Hi Naz,
We have changed your name for your privacy, we hope that is okay with you.
We are not clear about “mixed marriage family”. What is your birth religion? What is your husbands religion? If you both are Muslim now, that is not a mixed marriage family and there is no issue there. Please clarify.
Jugnoo,
First i agree its a confusing situation. That guy is lucky u still stand beside him as he does.I would really like to know, which country you reside in other then Pakistan as would be able to better help you out. Now if he wants to convert, first order should be tell your father about his conversation and ask him to meet him. Cause parents or not they are taking extreme steps by backing out(sorry for strong comment that what it is). Believe me been there (same position as they guy is) but my love backed out as she had same pressure from her parents and sorry for the word Bullshit like
– He is just converting on surface, not by heart ( Well, In Quran Allah said, believe on their Sahadut- leave the heart matter to Allah as he know everything.
– We cannot let you marry a converted as he is coming from another religion – Well if we go back 1400 years all Muslims came from other religions.
– You are disgrace to the family – Well ask them, did they ever converted someone from another religion to Islam ( answer would be definitely a BIG NO).This is your love that changed him.
– We are rich – well if you Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said, see the religion and how the person treats fellow being and marry.
I never had a chance to meet her father or mother to explain all the things and my all attempts to meet them ended up in blocking of my numbers or no answers.
Have faith and do whatever it takes to hold a meeting with your father (as he is walli of the house) and him.
All will be well – if you have any other questions – let me know, hopefully i would be able to help you out with grace of GOD
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11429
Hi Saagar,
Do we assume that you are a Christian and your girl friend Muslim? We are sorry it did not work out. How long were you in love? Was the girl knew what is she getting into? Is she married now? Give us full details and we would like to make a new post for you.
Do we assume that you are a Christian and your girl friend Muslim? We are sorry it did not work out. How long were you in love? Was the girl knew what is she getting into? Is she married now? Give us full details and we would like to make a new post for you.
Admin,
Answer to your questions are
1. Yes, I am and Yes, she is
2. Don’t be as i believe, its still in process as one has to go through
temptation
3. Four year and its been 2 years this June, 23 15:15 she stopped communicating
being forced and pressurized so its been 6 years but hey i am still here and
trying & waiting 🙂 for GOD to turn things around
4. Yes, She knew very well as i gave her the facts and figures, whats its gonna
be as i belong to extremely religious family with lots of preachers and nuns
from every generation and her mother is extremist muslim if she is up to face
everything, i would never back down to cross every and any line to be at her
side as i don’t believe in leaving high and dry middle of the way (Be there
till the end or don’t be there at all) as GOD teaches us to Love and give it
all. Infact, She proposed me knowing all
5. No, she is not married or engaged, as her mother is inclined to another guy
her to marry and he is just making fool out of them as he says alot to her
mother to show he loves her and a gentleman but how he treats her insights has
be shared with me and i have seen myself too
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11429
Admin,
I would respectfully request you not to use Girlfriend but Love word as if i wanted a girl friend wouldn’t have spent 28 years of my life without one.
I’m also in the same problem. I went to my brother in good faith telling him about my Christian boyfriend. He then told my parents they insulted me and belittled me I have never loved someone like this be before. I still see but all this hiding ans lying is making me crazy but it’s worth it because my parents will never accept
Hi Amina,
Which country are you from? Are you financially stable to do that is right for you? If you are dependent on your parents and in an Islamic country, forget it. Muslim girls don’t have rights to marry non-Muslim. There are many others points to discuss, so get back to us and lets discuss more.
I know. I am doing the same, Ive done so many things to help my family and I find it unfair to not be given anything in return. I have to clear my history, download and then delete the apps I use to text him everyday on.
Since he said he is ready to convert, now admin will bring out all his weapon to make you feel guilty for his decision to convert. 😀
I never told him to convert, he does not want me to convert. For us, we thought it would be okay to just get married in a court for legal purposes than for religious because at the end it is just having the other person by your side
If you feel you are a true Muslim (read), then don’t bother with love marriage. Instead ask your parents to marry you off to some guy from Pakistan. You may not be happy in this life but Allah will make sure you have a good after life!
Unless you are a love-Jihadi, don’t fake-convert someone.
For mac it is a different story. He is fluttering with so many Hindu Brahmin girls in college and one day he is going to convert one (or 4) to Islam, like his father did. His objective is to make India a Muslim majority nation. He is not being a true Muslim but out to increase Muslim VOTE power!
Admin, why you make false stories on me to convince new readers about your theory? Can’t you convince them without bashing me? 😀 😀 😀 I said that in sarcasm that the amount of muslim girls marrying hindus in india, it will automatically create void in hindu communities and i might have to jump in to fill the void, since i am allowed 4 at a time, so i said i will marry 4 to counter the loss of our community, i also told you that when i came to know about verse 2:221 and other islamic teachings, from then on i don’t have any non-muslim gf till today. Why you lie about my views?
We are glad “i don’t have any non-muslim gf.” As a matter of fact, as per Koran 24:30, you cannot have any girl friend. Only meet a girl (by parents) and marry, no dating. Now you have to decide if you wish to be a true Muslim or a so called one.
I jihad to be a true muslim.
What does this mean “I jihad to be a true muslim“? How far would you go? Would you give up your life for Islam?
You earlier had said that you have read quran, but now asking me meaning of jihad!
mac, we have read Koran, that does not mean we are an expert understand a mind of a Muslim. So, go ahead and explain to us what this mean “I jihad to be a true muslim” and reply to what we asked.
This means what i have already said that i jihad to be a true muslim, rabia said she is interested in theology, so if you are so ignorant that you fail to understand what i said, you are free to take help of rabia.
why are you avoiding answering what means by you will Jihad? Why are you dancing around, but but not explaining simply?
my point is that my life will never be mine. You know that very well. A muslim girl is first the property of her parents then her husband and she will never have a say in her life.
Financially, we both have a good standing. I am planning to leave but I can’t justify it. They treat me like I am a servant, and say how I am the luckiest one out of everyone. But truly, it is not like that. It is the opposite. It took me years to realize that. I dont want to hurt them but they will never let me live my life like it is mine. i will always be something someone owns. First family then husband and his family. i was very religious and did many things to please my grandparents. And I build my interest in Islam, studied it and observed it. I did everything just not to the extreme, but then I started to realize how I never got helped in my matters. It just distant me from Islam, but that does not mean I dont follow it. I still follow it, I still pray but it is not like it was before for me. He is willing to convert but not for me, but for the religion because he is interested in how parents have a say in everything they do to their kids in the name of religion. I just need to know if it is okay for me to live my life like I want and give up my family for it.
Dear jugnoo..
You MUST live your life the way you want to. There should not be any buts and ifs.
Someone may say we are teaching you to go against your parents. That is not what we are saying. Let us explain you how life goes.
You are born through your parents, they don’t own you. The faith is not something you are born with but is installed by your parents. If you were born to a Christian family and got changed by mistake in the hospital, and later your new set of parents installed Islam into you. If you were born to a Buddhist or Jewish family, you would be today talking about that faith.
As an adult, you have to do that you want. You cannot live your life for someone else, not parents nor husband. For example, if your parents find a guy from Pakistan and insist that he is good for you and marry, you have to use your own brain for what is good for you. If not, you will curse your parents for whole your life for putting you in hell. You will be unhappy, will make your husband miserable and will ultimately make your parents unhappy. This will be a loose-loose for all. Instead use your own brain and do that is right for you. Yes, your parents may not like it for a few years but they will come around. Ultimately you, your husband and parents will be happy.
So decide what is good for you?
Hello Jugnoo,
//I am in love with a christian guy. And ever since my family found out, I want to leave for the hell they made for me.//
If you are living abroad (currently not in Pakistan), it is not as difficult to make this work. But I would advise that you do not go against your family and do something that you will regret. It’s easy to make mistakes when you are emotional, so calm down first and think about all possible options.
Try to think calmly, seek some help from your trusted relatives. Are there any friends who may be able to offer good advice, knowing your family dynamics? It is unfortunate that your own siblings are not supporting you on this. Maybe there is an NGO or some other person locally that you can turn to for guidance?
//Emotionally tortured me saying things that I wanted to kill them all for this guy. I cannot make a decision on my own for my well-being ever. They have a guy picked out for me who does not want to marry me, he wants to marry his girlfriend.///
This is emotional blackmail that Indian & Pakistani parents are experts at. I understand it is upsetting you, but please try not to let this ruin your spirits. All Indian & Pakistani friends I know have gone through some form of this drama, EVEN when marrying someone within their own communities and religion.
I understand their frustration, this isn’t an easy thing to have your daughter fall in love with someone outside the community. But you can try something: why don’t you meet the guy they picked out for you, talk to him and see if he is willing to reject the marriage proposal since you said he wants to marry his own girlfriend, not you? If the boy refuses the marriage, it will make life easier for you until you can figure out what to do about your Christian friend.
///My siblings continuously tell me that I am a disgrace and they are disgusted by me. I have money and a small degree, he works and has a very nice job too. I can’t cry in this house.///
Do you have any other family member you trust, like a cousin or an aunt or anyone who might be able to help you convince your family? Or is it really very impossible to convince them to allow you to marry your Christian boyfriend? I think if the conversion criteria is met, then the family (yours) might come around even though they will oppose it a lot at the beginning.
my family will never agree, My parents lashed out on just finding out about this. Everything I had was taken away even college for a month. I want that guy to reject, but i don’t have anyone in family who i can talk to about. My family will never even consider this marriage no matter what. I want to leave so I can live my life the way I want and the way a human being should be. Not living under orders and commands of everyone. He loves me and I love him like I have never loved anyone. I imagine a future where my kids have the freedom of deciding their lives and not growing up like me. I can’t imagine a future without him. It kills me to even type it.
Rabia is a right person to guide you, hope she will come back soon. Sorry to hear of your condition.
You sound like you are in the West and in early 20s. If so, take two more years to get married. As hard as it may be, try this. Ask your parents to show you appropriate Muslim guy as a husband. Go out for a date and see if this new guy is any close to your current bf. If yes, settle with the person of your faith, it will be lots easy in long run. After trying for a while, if your parents don’t have a good option for you, and if your bf is still available, take a chance and go for him. But it is not going to be easy going against stubborn parents.
Assuming every one agree, how will you get married? In a church or Nikaah or civil wedding? Are his parents ready to accept you?
Who ever you marry to (Muslim or non-Muslim), make sure the person is not a religious fanatic and dominant. If yes, your daughters will also have to go through the same life what you are going through.
Make sure you are 100% in control of your money. If you are not financially independent, people will take you granted all times and you will be miserable.
We may not be able to help you but we will hear you, if it helps unload your frustration!
Jugnoo,
Fact is if that guy is ready to stand by your side then i would suggest to go ahead and live your life. Thinking to justify yourself leaving them will take away the time of action from you and you would end up in a life you mentioned (following other orders and commands). Admin said a beautiful thing about religion that what if you were born in different religion.
So i would strongly recommend try to hold a meeting with your father if he doesn’t. You have the right to live your life as you please as your parents did when it was their time.
Hi jugnoo,
Sorry to hear of your situation. We understand it is very hard when parents are imposing their demands on you. Interesting the guy they picked is also interested in a different girl. So, what is next are you planning to do?
You said your parents are from Pakistan and you are woking etc. We assume you are in the West. If you are financially independent, it may make your life little easy to do that you wish to. First we recommend that you continue to work outside home and be independent as much as you can.
Instead of being emotional or crying, spend time educating yourself. Something good will come out in a year or so. Evaluate the whole situation. Interfaith marriage is not a easy road. Tell us what Islam means to you. You know it well that Islam has many high expectations from you as a Muslim girl (to perform namaz five times a day, hijab, be obedient and submissive to your husband, do not look at other guys–lower your gaze, etc). Get back to us on this.
Lets assume both sets of parents agreed to get you married off. In such a case, tell us how will you get married? In a church, by Nikaah or by civil wedding? Get back and we will discuss more. Best wishes.