Confused says: January 9, 2016 at 12:24 am
I was born and raised in a christian country even though my family are muslim. I met a christian man and my father is sending me on a huge guilt trip and wants me to break up with him.
We are together 6 years now and were so close to getting married. My parents brought me to this christian country but want me to live as a muslim and are shocked that i ended up with a christian!!!
My religion has only all times caused me problems stress and grief in my life. Everything in my life has been a struggle from when i was at school..at uni with friends and now with my love life.
For the first time i say out loud that i want to leave this (Islam) religion. How can u bring me to a christian country and expect me to follow muslim ways and give me grief for being with a man from this country that provided my family safety and security!
if i converted to christianity i could finally live the life i want but at the expense of losing my family. I wish i could have a family who accepted whatever decision i made in life like most non muslim parents but it seems that blackmail is somthin muslim parents are pro at .
this isnt 1950 where u can threaten to disown the daughter. They wouldnt be disowning me. I would be disowning them because they rely on me for money. I had enough. I have been fighting with my heart and my head for a good 3 years that i was almost ready to kill myself because i couldnt imagine how i could ever be happy again .
i wish i had my families support but if i am being put in a position to choose between my family and future husband then i will leave them behind. I hadve tried my hardest to please everyone and told my family i want them in my life. I would never put my kids in this position and make them feel they had to choose. This is just cruel. -Confused
admin says:
Dear Confused,
First, this is the last thing you should do “i was almost ready to kill myself”. You are bright, educated and brave, face this life, not run away (suicide) from it. Happy days are ahead for you!
All Asian parents (all faiths) are good at blackmailing their child but agree that “muslim parents are pro at”. There is a good reason for it. Islam does not permit Muslim women to marry outside the faith (but to allow Muslim men). If you do that, then it is apostasy punishable by …(death?). Further, Allah is watching and on the Judgment Day he will send you to Hell Fire (read Koran).
Now if you don’t believe in
1) Muhammad,
2) Koran and
3) the Judgment Day, then all these points are mute points for you.
On the other side, if you do believe in all three, then you should
a) go under burka,
b) start salat fives times a day,
c) marry to some religious Muslim (even may not be educated) and
d) be an obedient wife to that Muslim guy.
In your situation, we believe you do that is right (as you feel) to do. Ultimately, parents will come around. Do argue with them but don’t fight or get angry at them.
If your parents show you Islam as a right path, ask them if they are performing namaz five times a day and lived their life 100% by the Koran? Get with them into intellectual discussion, not fights.
One point that we do not understood what you said “How can u bring me to a christian country and expect me to follow muslim ways” Tell us why you cannot be a Muslim in a Christian country? On the same point, explain us why you said “if i converted to christianity i could finally live the life i want”. Why you cannot enjoy your life without being a Christian in the West? -Admin
View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.
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My Boyfriend is Christian, I am Hindu
Where is it written for women to not to marry the people of books In Qur’an? M not any scholar but as per I observe we can marry to the people of books that are Jews Christians Hindus
My dear no name, i had the same situation u hav nd my sincere reply for u is dont get advice from society bcs its an animal who got multiple tongue nd minimal brain.
1. Do wat ur heart want
2. Live with who ever u want
3. children’s name r ur own decisions, decide it wit ur own partner.
4. Parents bought u up, so ask thm to pray for u, of course thy can nvr evr curse u.
Hi, i am kc im a malaysian Catholic , im planning to get married to a Pakistani muslim without converting to Muslim can you advise me on this pls n say so if we get married in Singapore, the marriage cert is it valid in Malaysia , n will my husband 2be get any pr here.
Pls help tq..
KC,
In most cases, don’t trust a Muslim if he says you do not have to convert to Islam or we will raise children in two faiths. If he is from Pakistan, you should talk to his parents for your plan to get married and remain a Christian.
Yes, you could marry in Singapore and come visit Malaysia. There is no problem up to this step. However, Malay government will never register you as a married person in Malaysia. This means he cannot get a PR based on your citizenship. Further, one day, you will have to disclose faith of your children, what will that be? If you don’t believe in Muhammad, Koran and Islamic practices, it does not make any sense dating/marrying a Muslim, unless he is not a Muslim (or an atheist). If that is the case, ask him to convert to Christianity. This way, two Christians can marry in Malaysia and he could also get a PR later.
Hi, kc here tq for ur quick reply can he convert to Christianity in Malaysia is that possible becoz he is willing to do so ..pls help me on this ..tq
He is a foreigner and thus government will not know what his faith. Talk to your priest for advise.
Why he wants to convert to Christianity? Is he not happy being a Muslim or is he doing it for you?
Hi kc here, he is happy being a muslim its just that we are looking for options how to live n work in Malaysia for myself no problem but im worried abt my bf if the govt get to know we are not married in the Muslim way will they send him back to Pakistan will he or I be in any trouble , will he be able to work here in Malaysia pls advice tq
Christian-Muslim marriages are difficult in Malaysia. Either you convert or he does. If you don’t want to convert, let him convert and take some chances in life. Remember, marrying to a Muslim is just beginning of issues in life, it is like walking on fire. After your in-laws will get involved, your problems will be 3X. After child, your problems will get 10X. If no one wishes to convert, find another good non-Muslim as your life mate, plenty there.
Confused :how u going to continue with him??im having same problem as u..
roxy its a hard and stressful situation. the hard part is the family as it is hard to gain their blessing and acceptance. however the country i live in allow interfaith marriage (civil marriage) without one or the other having to convert. we can talk more if you want to exchange contact details.
Yeah i want to know more about it pls hep me
no name, would you be willing to give me any contact details?email address for example. but im not sure how we can do that without being public.
Why was it ok for george clooney and amal to marry ???? Becauses hes rich and famous??
Mohamed. Where in the quran does it state this word about being prohibited and punishable. It is a very vague verse that talks about believers and non believers (of God). The quran never says a muslim women will go to hell for marrying outside her faith. It says niether should marry non believers of the book which christians jews and muslims are. And the only reason for this is to produce muslim children. Did u know thay christian orthodox also has the same rule
Mohammed where exactly in the quran does it state it is prohibited ? It is a very vague verse that talks about believers and non believers of GOD
Confused,
Both Christianity and Islam are supremacist faiths but Church underwent reformation and today most of the Christian nations are highly inclusive and magnanimous. But Islamic nations are ravaged since rabid fanatics say the barbarism of stoning, chopping, flogging, beheading, paedophilia, polygamy, muta marriage, sex slavery, murdering apostates, blasphemers etc cannot be scrapped as they are absolutely human!
Since you’re in an advanced nation you would not be knowing the true face of Islam and I’ve just given an outline of practical Islam.
In India, Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan is already fighting for making polygamy, muta marriage illegal and demands that alimony should be given to divorced Muslim women, which as per Sharia is unIslamic.
If you belong to the category where you see only Allah is God and all other faith followers will go to hell, then ethical option is: leave the Christian chap.
If you’re broadminded and consider that you’ll be judged only according to your deeds and not on how you pray, how much you prostrate/ then go ahead and marry the fellow.
We pray God to direct you in the right path!
Only ignorant people will think like this without any proof
Admin: I believe in God, my parents talked to me about Quran, but I do not practice the religion. This does not mean I don’t believe in God or proud to be muslim. Things are not always so Black and White. I just face many challenges with my religion in the country I live in. I have the support of all my family except my father. This is the hardest part.
When parents play hard ball, it makes it hard on the couple. It is about time your father has to loosen up. You have not killed any one or committed sin. You just loved a fellow human being, who is respecting your own faith (if not follow it). What is your father’s issue, considering your marriage cannot be undone now?
My boyfriend called my father to ask for my hand in marriage. My father says he does not accept but will not stand in my way. However for him this is wrong and I am living in sin and he will not be present at my wedding. I expressed the fact to my father that the door is always open for him and I don’t want to lose him and that nothing would make me happier than to have him at my wedding. But he doesn’t agree with what I am doing so says he cannot come…This makes me feel so bad inside. It is every womans dream to have her father at her wedding and be happy for her 🙁
As you said, I have not killed anyone, stolen, treated anybody badly..the only “sin” I did was fall in love with someone out of my religion. We are perfect for each other and I cannot imagine myself with anybody else. He is so good to me. Faithful, honest, hard working family man… Once judgement day comes, will God really want to punish me, a person who does Charity work, is honest, has empathy towards both humans and animals, just because of who I have married?
God help me find peace in my heart.
If you like him so much and have faith in Allah then why u didnt convey the messege of Allah(s.w.t)?
Parents are using guilt cards. However, we have seen in most case, parents comes around when they realize that there is no option left (especially after child birth).
All these talk of J-Day are “faith” and there is “no truth” to it. Assume you dump this guy for your father and Allah. Are you going to be happy with a new Muslim guy who performs namaz five times a day and shows you Koran at every step of life? Have you read Koran? Are you going to settle for an arrange marriage just to please your father? And what if you are horribly unhappy? Are you going to feel – hell in this life is okay as far as heaven is guaranteed in your future life?
Like a business proposition, put on a piece of paper all positive and negative points about your next step in life. Without being emotional, make rational decision that you think will make you happy in THIS life.
If really a love-jihadi means to expand islam then why
Allah says in the Quran surah nur chapter 24 v 30-31
” Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or
their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess….”
If any changes his/her faith to islam, then “revert” word is used.
Firstly there are in islam then convert to another faith and come back again to their original faith ie, Islam
It doesnt mean iam with those muslim mens and womens whose only by namesake muslims loves a mens or womens of other faith and later they told for conversion.. Iam against on this and Islam too against on these
Hence they so called as a cheaters
Mohammed,
We are on the same page and conveying the same messages
“Allah says in the Quran surah nur chapter 24 v 30-31 ” Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze …”
and
“..muslims loves a mens or womens of other faith and later they told for conversion.. Iam against on this and Islam too against on these. Hence they so called as a cheaters.”
We love these messages and agree to you 100% on these points.
The right interpretation to bring the population out of darkness:
Allah says in the Quran surah nur chapter 24 v 30-31
” Say to the believing men, dignified and modest conduct will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do
And say to the believing women, dignified and modest conduct will make for greater purity for them; and that they should dress appropriately; God wants you to be aware that a society which forcefully segregates genders will end up as an unjust, chauvinistic and bigoted population.Remember that there could be extremely healthy relationship between men and women and if both the genders carry themselves in honourable manner, that would blossom as graceful comradeship.
Add this too in your content
Its also mentioned in Rig Veda Book no. 8 Hymn no. 33 V. no. 19
“When Brahma has made you a woman, you should lower your gaze and should not look up. You should put your feet together and you should
not reveal what the garment and the veil conceals.”
So the Rig Veda says that the woman should wear the veil. They should lower their gaze and should not stare.
Hindus also should lower gaze according to rig veda (8:33:19)
It is further mentioned in Rig Veda Book no. 10 Hymn no. 85 V. no.30
“Unlovely is the person is the husband who covers his thighs with the garment of his wife. “
So the Rig Veda says that wearing the clothes of the opposite sex is prohibited.
It is further mentioned in the Mahavir Charitra Act 2 Page 71 that
When Purshuram comes, Rama tells his wife Sita that “He is our elder, please lower your gaze, and put on the veil. “
Rama tells his wife Sita to put on the veil and to lower her gaze.
same as in christianity also
In Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with
her in his heart Wearing of opposite sex clothes not allowed”
Deuteronomy 22:5
“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
I Timothy 2:9
“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.
Punishment for a women who does not cover her head”
I Corinthians 11:5-6
“But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven”
If the followers follows their religion correctly then there wont be any fault/problem in their life. .
http://www.dawn.com/news/1233374/our-hero-of-the-day-a-boy-presenting-his-chopped-hand-on-a-plate
Ahmed Noor, your mother tongue is Arabic. Have a look at how your Ummah sister glorifies Islam!
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2016/01/female-al-azhar-prof-allah-allows-muslims-to-rape-non-muslim-women
Can stop teaching people to leave their parents ad run away with their lovers parents are the ones who bought us up the man whom she is going to marry will betray her bt not the parents ad u all uneducated hindus stop saying bad things about Allah ad islam look at ur own religion. Ur religion teaches boys to rape girls everywhere
Sister,
Go through this verse of Quran
From Surah Baqrah chapter 2 v 221
” And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you.
And do not marry polytheistic men
[to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.”
Dear Confused,
This is also wishes of your father except that he is not openly saying this.
Whole world knows that a marriage to a Muslim means conversion, conversion and conversion. Even some will say most Muslims are love Jihadi, in the beginning they will talk to equality and respect for all, but in the end, conversion, conversion and conversion. Are you a love-Jihadi out to expand Islam at the expense of others?
View Sharia laws here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiWLGEKusIg
Faith Vs Cult
CULT VERSE:
//And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you.
And do not marry polytheistic men
[to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.”//
FAITH VERSE
And do not marry women for beauty, money or lust. A benevolent slave woman is better than a beautiful and rich woman, even though she might please you.
And do not marry crooked men
[to your women] until they choose the path of righteousness. An honest man is better than a rich crook, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.”
Ignorant people only can see a false cult nothing more else
Anyone who says the original verse guides in the correct path should be pathetically insane.
The original verse contains pure venom towards fellow other faith followere. One wonders why Allah created Hindus at all, if He hates them from the bottom of his heart?
The reinterpreted verse directs the human race in the right path.
Unless and until Quranic teachings are reformed to match honourable ethical standards, Muslims will continue to stamp humanity, morality and dignity.
Your statement clearly says that you are a fanatic hindu and you hide ur real name with us, this shows that how u fanatic hindu will create fights to the people to follow wrong path
Tarek Fatah : The Hindu Is Not My Enemy
Reema Abbai : Historic Temples in Pakistan: A Call to Conscience
Farahnaz Ispahani : Purifying the Land of the Pure: Pakistan’s Religious Minorities
M. Zuhdi Jasser and Raheel Raza : Muslim Reform Movement
I’m as much a Hindu fanatic as all these stalwarts are who are striving to bring in a change in the Muslim society in spite of open death threats from the extremists.
Admin there are so many muslims who dont pray or wear burka ..still believe in god and jugdment day and they confess that they are muslim and proud of being muslim but disobying muslim
so please stop showing the muslims these only 2two options
believe -pray -burka and dont believe ..so dot respect your islam
ther is a third case which i mentioned above
i dont blame this muslim girl for hard note about islam ..even what she said is painful
but it is her parents fault who ignore her islamic upbringing from childhood -quran meaning – prophet life – jugdment day -other prophets story ..
her parent may show her the islam in routine and traditional form
same as what is happening in saudi and pakistan (in some how)
may you tell me what is the traditional upbringing of islam
that is teaching child only halal and haram this is allowed and this is not same as military instructions
may in this case no one of them had a time to tell their daughter even one verse or hadees of prophet
or else how she start 6 years love story with chistian (whether they knew or not )
they didnot remember thier islam only when it comes to marriage
my advice to to CONFUSED :
do not lose your great religion for love story repeated habnreds of millions everywhere and we dont know how many of them faied
life can not continued without religion and christianity is saying god-bye in europe and us
god is whom you must be afraid of before your parents god will stay withyou even after death not you christian friend
islam is the religion of brotherhood and mercy and whorship one god not triple god
Thank you for your advice.
You are right, I will not lose my religion but I also don’t want to lose the man I love. I will have my belief and he will have his. At the end of the day, we both believe there is 1 god. It is just hard because I grew up in a country where everything I do conflicts with my religion.
Only God can judge me.
You go Girl, Only God can judge you. Marry this guy. You only live once and God is the most merciful he will know whats in your hearts because he is all knowing. I hope you have an Amazing life. Just ask him about faith of the children first… 🙂
and it is allowed for a muslim man to marry a woman from the book (Jew or Christian) and there is no mention of it being banned for a woman.
http://quransmessage.com/articles/marriage%20with%20people%20of%20the%20book%20FM3.htm
so you don’t have to fear hell fire.. jeez so much “Fear” in islam… but children.. for me thats the hardest part to deal with, but talking really helps. I’m Christian shes muslim
no name i would like to talk you more. i haven’t met someone in my situation (man being christian and woman being muslim) and it would be good to talk to somebody in the same situation.
Dear confused,
Actually, he is Really confusing you with the help of anti islamic site and like u people who didnt read Quran blindly can be believe..
About the Quran is concern,
Only men can be permission to marry women(condition is women should be chaste women) from the people of the book
For women its completely prohibited to marry from outer faith..