To Marry Him I Need to Convert from Brahmin to Christianity

Anusha says: October 29, 2015 at 2:53 am

Hi All,

I am 26F born and bought up in a Brahmin family. My father was expired when I was 10. From that onwards my mother took care of me and my younger brother. Now my brother is priest. I loved a Christian guy for 6years. He used to take lot of care for me and my family. He always help for us. but the problem is that to marry him I need to convert because his parents strongly belives jesus so his father put this condition. or else there is no problem with me and they clearly says that the children should be Christians.

I don’t like this conversion and till now he didn’t settle. I am working as software engineer in MNC. I have a fear for my future because I saw my mother’s life. She got married to my father who is Brahmin also but they struggled also in life. So I do not want to struggle in my future.

Besides that my mother is encouraging me to get marry with my chiristian bf even with his conditions. She says that you should adjust and lead happy life but he always do what he and his parents wants in religious and important matters.

But he truly loves me a lot. He wont leave me even single second.

What should I do? I am not able to take decision. I have so much pressure on me. Please advise me. -Anusha

Admin says:

Dear Anusha,

First, it is our honor that you reach out to us. We will work with you right here over years.

We feel your pain. In your relationship, every thing is perfect except this conversion business.

We wish your father was here to guide you.

You have a special situation so you decide what you have to, but please allow us explaining core issues that we see. Read a lot as suggested below and it will help you make little more “informed” decision for your life, what ever that decision is.

We love Jesus but do not agree to this conversion business being promoted by churches (read Jesus not church). If Jesus was present today, who taught us to “love thy neighbors”, he would not ask a Brahmin-Hindu to fake-convert to Christianity for marriage. A Brahmin-Hindu is following God as much as a Christian, then why there is new “labeling” necessary? These churches are doing is to expand their vote power (view Gurumaa). These churches are telling you that there is one God and that is Christian-God; like they patented the God!!

The issue is not converting to Christianity (baptism dip takes only 5 min!!) or following Jesus. However, after conversion, this Christian family will make sure (ask them if this is truth) that your Brahmin-Hindu heritage will be totally irradiated and replaced with new intolerant Christian teachings. You will 1) not be allowed have a Hindu wedding, 2) not allowed to put a bindi on your head, 3) not allowed to carry Lord Ganesh statue (read idols) in your married home, 4) not be allowed to be a part of Satya Narayan Katha organized by your brother and 5) will not be allowed to celebrate Diwali and Holi. Further, they will be always skeptic every time you or your children visit your parents if you committed a new sin by following Hindu practices. Bottom line, you must be ready to say good-bye to your culture, heritage, your brother and mother and most importantly, to your Hindu pride. Are you ready?

The issues will get 10X when you have children. It will be hard for you to take your children church every Sunday to learn of intolerant teachings (Read Bible on Hindus?). Further, it will be hard not to share your childhood Hindu-experiences with your own children. Over years, you will be so brain washed that one day, you will even ask your Christian-son’s Hindu-fiancée to convert to Christianity in the name of Jesus. This saga will continue till there is no Hindu left to convert!

You live in so-called “free” India where your liberty and freedom of expression of faith will be taken away. Some religious leaders, not you, will decide your faith. Is this logical?

Ideally, we wish your boy friend’s parents said “Anusha, we love you for what you are. You will have full freedom of your faith in our home. However, we believe in Jesus and would appreciate if you respect our faith and at occasions you be a part of our faith.” We are sure you will be more than glad to accommodate and please them.

Now on your boy friend, you said “He wont leave me even single second” but the second he will realize that you will NOT convert to Christianity, he will not wait for a second to DUMP you! Prove us wrong. You must ask yourself – does he really loves you for what you are (as is) or this is a “conditional” love?

Your mother’s advice is good one but will you be able to “you (wife) should adjust (to husband)”? Probably unlike your mother, now you are a modern woman with good education and great paying job. Can you be a “submissive” wife who will not use her brain if there is any injustice in life?

Again, Anusha, you do that you have to. It is easy for us to give impractical moral lectures but is difficult for you to follow it in this society. This is what we would do step wise:

1) Tell your boy friend and his parents/relatives that you are a Hindu and will die as a Hindu (even you do not mean it). Tell them with a very firmly voice and looking in their eye-to-eye. Then you have to keep listening what they say for two month (without changing your position on conversion). Why we asked you to do this? It is important for you to find out how much they care for you and for what you are. If they are looking for someone you are not, you need to know it now. It is good to know their religious fanatic views before your join that family.

2) After two months, propose your boyfriend to get married by the Special Marriage Act 1954. After marriage, plan to live on your own as married couple in a separate flat (if practical and affordable). See if he loves you or his love for his parents and Christianity are every thing for him.

3) After #1 and #2, give lots of love to those Christian in-laws and be part of their every Christian holidays/rituals (but never baptized). In a few years, the Christian parents, when realize that no option is left, will come around. It will be a win-win for all. One day, you will be able to die peacefully for doing right things. Logical?

4) If 1 or 2 does not work out, well, then you have to decide if you wish to submit to injustice to marry the guy and willing to be 100% Christian and 0% Hindu till your death?

Please get back to us for more questions. We wish you the best. -Admin

anusha says: October 30, 2015 at 7:45 pm

Hi admin,
Thanks for your valuable advise. Yes my mother and me asked to my bf that I am not ready to convert and iam not able to adjust with your religion and in home. He tells that I can do everything for you I have no problem at all to do these things. we can live separate after our marriage ao you dnt have problem. In festival times you have to mingle with our parents and do whatever they like because we do love marriage we need support. As your family situation is not well after marriage so we don’t have support from your family directly. So we need to obey my bf’s parents and his father strongly says that without conversion to get married is a sin so you should take conversion and do whatever you like.

My bf also says something. You can visit temple sometimes after our marrigae without knowing his parents and you dnt put Hindu idols in ur home then I asked him ok with that then you also wont allow any jesus idols and message posters on our home but he refused it.So with this argument I quit him for sometime. He cried alot for me but I very religious and crude after this incident.

I met him oneday and said all about my situation and fear about future. He simply told you have useless fears. I will be there for you in every time. Please trust me. I always forced him to do job but he never try for job outside of his home town. He has no seriousness about life. After I left him he went to city and tried for job but no use because he left ICICI po job in 2013 after training because he didn’t like job and he posted in Kerala state. Till no he didn’t pay money to get certificates from them. So I lost trust on him about career. I never saw seriousness about career he always roaming with me and chat on phone. I keep telling that be preapre for competitive exams but he neverminded and says that nothing is important than you.

He is very possessive and jelousy. He dnt want me to talk with other guys and even with my colleagues both men and women. I am only finacial source to my family. If I marry him I totally leave my family because of my brother’s career sake beacise he is priest in our town. So if I thought of my family I wouldn’t get marry him but as human if I thought it would be very sin I don’t get marry him because he is very nice guy. Wat I do? -Anusha

Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity.
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