Santhosh says: April 8, 2016 at 11:51 am
Hi!! I am Santhosh (India). I am a Hindu. I am in love with a Muslim girl. Her name is X(removed). I really love and would like to marry her but don’t want to convert. I respect her faith. She is absolutely free to profess her religious faith after marriage. I would like to marry her with the consent of her parents. How could I make her parents agree to our marriage? -Santosh
Admin says:
Hi Santosh,
First, on ANY public forum, don’t give details about your city and her names etc. It is not smart. We have adjusted it.
Are you both educated?
Are you both financially stable, if you have to go against your parents?
She being a Muslim girl, is she ready to marry you without converting you to Islam?
Best is to slowly educate her parents. That means first you have to be educated. Please read all recommended articles above.
Assume Mohammed is her father. Argue with him on this web site. It is a good practice for you. See, you argue like this:
Mohammed: “The only thing you would marry a muslim when you accept the true way of life(i.e, Islam)”
A: Why only Prophet Muhammad’s teaching is truth? Why Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, etc’s teachings not truth?
Mohammed: “islam prohibits on interfaith”
A: If that is truth, why all Muslims out dating non-Muslims? Why 45% of Muslims in America marry outside Islam?
Mohammed: “their spouse into the jannah(paradise)”
A: Tell them that heaven and hell are right here. The Judgment Day and Paradise are all fantasy, not truth.
Mohammed: “If one wheel of a truck is of car and another wheel of a truck do you think a truck will run?”
A: This is a stupid argument. If this is truth, then why Muslim trucks are dating non-Muslim cars? There are two way to fix this issue, either make all 4 wheels of truck (and change studs) or all 4 wheels of car. Either Santosh converts or the Muslim girl converts, is that rational? What is wrong with your beautiful statement, “I respect her faith. She is absolutely free to profess her religious faith after marriage”? Why not give up this intolerance (and ask conversion) and instead love and respect others as they are?
Lets talk more (with us and Muhammed). Get back. -Admin
Santhosh says: April 9, 2016 at 10:40 pm
My parents usually say that study well and if you love ANY girl and the girl is educated and understand you better, then there would be no issues from our side. I don’t think my parents would agree to the idea of converting into her religion and may reject my wishes. First of all, I don’t want to convert into her religion just for the sake of marrying her, which is of course selfish. For me, every religion teaches the same that to be caring, loving, helping the fellow human beings who are in needy and I follow the teachings of them. It is her parents who need to understand me…:)
View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.
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so, its i leave or convert.
We would say separate these two issues. For now, make a decision of religious preference independent of who you are in love with. If you not happy with your birth faith, explore all others and select the best that works for you.
We highly recommend against a fake-conversion just for marriage. Problem with conversion to Islam in Malaysia is it is irreversible, while your marriage is (talaak is possible). Spend good dead of time in different mosque and see if you like teachings there. Read this Koran if you are comfortable reciting to your children.
If nothing else, do not take any step for a year or so. Remember, marriage is easy but not divorce. Many times, the divorce costs lots more than the marriage. Take a step only after you are 100% sure for what you getting into.
I’ve been in a relationship with an Islam guy for almost 3 years. We are planning on mariage. But I do not want to convert into Islam, I would like to stay in my faith. Is it possible for me not to convert into Islam in Malaysia?
Your Malaysian laws are very unfair to all other faith. For benefit of Islam, they have designed laws that you MUST convert if you wish to marry a Muslim and stay in Malaysia. Do not think you have any other option other than conversion or give up this love. Read Malaysian laws here https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11100
Now question is do you want to convert into Islam? For that you have to read the Koran. Are you ready to help recite Koran to your future children? Also view this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiWLGEKusIg
I’m not willing to teach and guide my child in Islamic way. Should I just not register our marriage?
We have corrected your statement little for clarity, let us know if that is not okay for you.
If you register your marriage, it will NOT be valid in Malaysia. Punishment for a Muslim to have sex illegally (meaning without valid marriage) is severe. You will create a big legal issue.
Only two options you have are: 1) convert to Islam or 2) forget this relationship. Sorry if we are telling you too bluntly, but unfortunately you are dealing with Islam and it is not going to be easy.
Why you do not want to help recite Koran to your children or make them Muslim?
Its okay. Being straight forward is good. Thank you so much. I guess I will just have to think about it. Because he does not practice Islam so there is not a need to guide them the Islamic way.
This is wrong to assume “he does not practice Islam so there is not a need to guide them the Islamic way.” This could change tomorrow. Further, you are in Malaysia where your government will legally make sure you change your name to Islam in your ID and have Muslim names for your next 100 generations of kids/grand kids. If any one tries to escape Islam, he/she will be severely punished. Shahadah is a one way street, have no doubt about it.
Malay interfaith marriage laws are totally injustice to non-Muslims, so you have to decide if you wish to fall in the trap. This is a state run ethnic cleansing, and the world is ignoring it.
I also do love a muslim grl she is scared if her parents are not allowed then wat ll happen ?i also do love her alot n wannna be selected in IAS
You can’t marry with her
I am in love with a christian guy. And ever since my family found out, I want to leave for the hell they made for me.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11218
Hi Jagnoo,
Can you give more details? Assuming your parents will agree, how will you marry? Will that be Hindu wedding or in a church? Are both of you well educated and financially stable? Get back to us, we may be able to help you how to handle your parents.
A Muslim girl, he is a Christian guy. He came to see me several times and I skipped my job to see him and spend time with him. My parents are Pakistani and respected in society. My sibling found out I was seeing him and they took everything away from me. Emotionally tortured me saying things that I wanted to kill them all for this guy. I cannot make a decision on my own for my well-being ever. They have a guy picked out for me who does not want to marry me, he wants to marry his girlfriend. My siblings continuously tell me that I am a disgrace and they are disgusted by me. I have money and a small degree, he works and has a very nice job too. I can’t cry in this house, I have to always do something told by everyone. I don’t know
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11218
You say you really love her but then why you are forcing her to go against her religion and her parents? Why you want to make her discomfortable in front of her parents and her god?
You might not know that Quran strictly prohibits muslim men or women from marrying a non-muslim, it’s in Quran Chapter 2 verse 221. You can check it if you don’t believe me. And violation of this verse makes a muslim sinner and destined for hell. Do you want your loved one to be in hell? If no, then why make her go against her religion? You said you will allow her to practice her religion, but goes against her religion the moment she marry you. Islam only allows marriage when the non-muslim partner accept islam from heart and live as practicing muslim. The option of muslim women and non-muslim men in a single room is just not there in islam. It’s totally forbidden and a big sin and makes her take away from islam even if she says she is muslim, believes allah, etc,etc…
People in interfaith love have to realize that you are not marrying to a person but in reality to a community. Santosh, this web site is a good practice to realize reality of life. After your marriage (if you have not converted yet) her whole community will keep bugging every day to both of you till you get tired and convert. Likewise, your Hindu parents may not ask her to convert but it is difficult to see a “Muslim” wife in a Hindu home in a Hindu community. Will Hindu tolerate her wearing burka in your Hindu home?
We are not saying Hindu-Muslim marriages are not possible. Look at the example of a successful Sai and Kareena’s marriage. However, they are celebrities and no one has daring to prevent them from doing that they want to. Are you two ready to face each other’s communities? After marriage, can you two go and live in a different town, 100 km away from both’s families?
Can a hindu home tolerate a muslim woman cooking beef in their holy kitchen? Or will the muslim woman forced to change her food habit, if so, initial promise of tolerating each other faiths by the hindu in-laws and the guy was a lie, isn’t it admin?
Just like a muslim don’t need to be a non-veg for becoming a perfect muslim as per islam, same way a hindu can be a perfect hindu by removing the murtis from home as murtipuja are also not required to be a hindu, infact it is condemned in vedas and upanishads,the supreme hindu book of spiritual guidance. So is a hindu guy ready to remove all the murtis from his home for sake of her muslim future wife and is a muslim girl ready to give up non-veg especially beef for the sake of her future hindu husband? If both are done, then we can rationally accept without any iota of doubt that the marriage is based on mutual understanding and tolerance, else not. But in real life, since india is muslim minority and generally muslim girls are submissive and slave minded, the case always been of muslim girl adjusting her life, compromising her fundamental religious belief and not the hindu boy though the love life starts from the promise of toleration and mutual respect from the hindu guy just for the sake of convincing the muslim girl.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11166
Thanks a lot…My response would be simple i.e., I love her and would take care of her more than anybody else. I am an IITian and would be graduating in 2018. My love is also the same. I am planning to write Civil Services Exam and confident of becoming an IFS officer. I will directly go to her parents after getting into service. Hope my true love make her parents to agree to our marriage..:)
Does she loves you?
what about your parent? did they agree to your relationship?
why u dont want to enter a true way of life?
She loves me..but she says she can’t go against her parents, who are everything to her. So, If I can convince her parents, then the problem is solved and I can be with my love forever..
My parents would not go against my wishes because they love me a lot. If her parents agree to our marriage, there won’t be any problems from my side..:)
Santosh,
Did you assumed for “My parents would not go against my wishes” or you actually asked them?
What if her parents say–you have to convert and become a Muslim (no more a Hindu). Will your parents still fully support you?
My parents usually say that study well and if you love ANY girl and the girl is educated and understand you better, then there would be no issues from our side. I don’t think my parents would agree to the idea of converting into her religion and may reject my wishes. First of all, I don’t want to convert into her religion just for the sake of marrying her, which is of course selfish. For me, every religion teaches the same that to be caring, loving, helping the fellow human beings who are in needy and I follow the teachings of them. It is her parents who need to understand me…:)
Santosh,
Your parents and you have beautiful ideologies and we admire it. That is the way it should be. That is the way to make this world a better place to live for all. However, if the other side wishes you to be an extremist and exclusivist, why will you want to submit to someone’s intolerance for what you are?
You have heard all along that always be truthful. In a short run, this is hard and difficult to follow advise but believe us this is a beautiful teaching. Truth is the way to lead your life, even if you make less money or loose a few friends. In line with that, we will advise not to fake-convert and lie to Allah, her parents, Islamic community and most importantly to yourself. Why will you make lies and deception a foundation of your married life.
With what we said above, is Hindu-Muslim marriage possible without conversion? Of course yes, view/read all these: Seema, Salman, Shah Rukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Shamim and may be Rabia. These options are only for highly educated and open-minded people, not for radicles.
//My parents usually say that study well and if you love ANY girl and the girl is
educated and understand you better, then there would be no issues from our side. I don’t think my parents would agree to the idea of converting into her religion and may reject my wishes.//
This is great brother.. your parents is supporting you, Iam not against on your love, Love is one of the important in our life but you love a girl who is a from different faith..
// First of all, I don’t want to convert into her religion just for the sake of marrying
her, which is of course selfish. For me, every religion teaches the same that to be caring, loving, helping the fellow human beings who are in needy and I follow the teachings of them. It is her parents who need to understand me…:) //
its your choice to convert or not .. Islam prohibits on fake convertion..
Fine every religion speaks caring,love, helping beside this Islam gives understanding the purpose of our life,
Do you know what is your purpose of your life?
Do you know why u are in this world?
She belives in one real God almighty
she belives in the judgement day
she belives in prophets,
she belives in Quran not veda
You belives in diety Gods
you dont belive on judgement day
you dont belive on prophets
you belive in veda not quran
do you think it will set your life? what if she want to ate non veg but your parents restrict to ate non veg in their house.. what you will do in these situations
I heard from Dr.Hussain Naik that Muslims can also be vegetarians. My love likes non-veg very much and she is absolutely free to have food of her personal choice. There won’t be any issues from my family because we believe everyone has their likes and dislikes and we shouldn’t force them to practice what we believe. So, there is no issues from my family…
Dr.Zakir Naik
There is no judgmental day. Don’t mislead the Hindu boy. If a person is not happy in this world, why he would wait for an uncertain period after death and become unhappy in this life. Don’t propagate false impression about Hinduism. Who told you that Hindus worship many Gods ? What do you know of Hinduism ?Santosh, Jakir Naik is a great liar and a fake person. Don’t be influenced by him. If you marry the girl , you would get all sorts of help from your society.
Dear Santosh,
Admin mentioned my name to you on this post, so here is my advice to you knowing how difficult your situation must be.
a) Please be honest with your own parents about the girl. Right now they may be saying they will accept anyone you love, but in reality a marriage is between two families, not just two people. I learnt this lesson the hard way, so I advise you to be very very honest with them that your girl is a Muslim, eats whatever she wants….etc.
b) Please re-read Admin’s words: “Likewise, your Hindu parents may not ask her to convert but it is difficult to see a “Muslim” wife in a Hindu home in a Hindu community.” This is very true, especially with people from a small-town. In Mumbai, actors and actresses etc. may have good & successful interfaith marriages because neither side cares or gives importance to religion so much.
I know of one girl in Delhi whose mom was a Muslim and dad was a Hindu, their families were fairly liberal so they were allowed to get married years ago. And are still married, from what I understand. I interviewed her for my book. She said that her mom is now an atheist, and her dad is agnostic. So if you have this type of a situation, those marriages may work. But if your girl’s parents are conservative & religious Muslims (many Indian Muslims are), they will almost always expect you two to do a nikkah in addition to a civil court marriage.
Are you ready for this? Think about it.
And Islamically, you cannot do a nikkah without converting to Islam (saying the shahada with witnesses).
Rabia,
We love your messages and view points. We are sure your book will be a big hit. Best wishes.
Thanks a lot, Admin. I look forward to finishing it by end of 2016 if I’m lucky. Please keep me in your prayers.
santhos…
the problem is in your way of thinking …and dealing with such cases
islam is a clear religion and we beleive that it is the only true religion
instead of trying to select the illegal means to get married with her
– making use of her ignorance or family ignorance about islam which refuses such marriages (followed by unlimited problems)
-saying that (every time repeated note)you respect her faith so no convert of both
– the whole issue is not her parents consent or her consent or to go to court to legalize what cannot be legalized
the whole issue is to avoid her since you donot wnat to convert ..good for you and good for her (same as for hindu girl)and do not tell me that you can not live without her at the same time you can not live without your religion ..islam says ..take it or leave it
santhosh
so your task now is to convince her parents to get against their religion with their daughter ..for you to get married and get happy
after that every thing will be good for you
you stay on your religion
and make them against their religion
as an educated guy i think you know every thing about islam and you know already that you could avoid her to so maney other hindu girls so why did you started this relation first ..do not tell me it came by chance …still you hide the reason …..santosh
Dear Ahmad…
I am not asking my love and her parents to go against their religion. But the point is I really love my LOVE and take care of more than anybody else and I am not saying her to convert into my religion but she can freely profess and practice her faith after marriage….You may be wondering why I love her despite knowing that she is from different faith. For me, there is no religion for love. I like her face covered by hijab, I respect her Holy Quran and I respect everything she does for her religion. As for my understanding, it should be personal choice of an individual to have freedom of conscience, right to profess and practice religion he/she wishes…
Santosh bhai, have you two spoken about children & how to raise them etc? These are probably best discussed before your engagement or baat pakki. Otherwise issues may come up between families later on.
Let he will ask those question, we are ready to refute him if he ask honestly not like you doing as a argument. . we refuted so many times but you skip our answer and post repeated question on other places..