Naaz says:June 4, 2013 3:49 AM
Hi every body,
I am a Muslim girl and I am in love with a Jewish guy. We have known one another for a year and a half now and we have the same feelings for each other. We started off as friends, and things just got so deep and we can’t hold ourselves back anymore (our love so far is purely platonic – we are both practising and believe in sex after marriage) – we want to get married, but there’s a problem..
My family is practising muslim so believe I can marry him if he embraces Islam (which he is planning to do, for God, because he believes Islam is the true religion), however, his family abuse him after finding out we were best friends, and now in love, they are furious and they abuse him and kicked him out the house many times (and he would live in my house secretly).
His family hate muslims and are very racist and extreme. They are orthodox Jews btw, but my Jewish lover says his family are actually zionists, and that he doesn’t like them and their ideas. He doesn’t like his religion at all and says only Islam gives him peace.
I am really worried about him, about us, our safety and happiness. We want to get married but if his family find out, we are literally dead (his family supports honor killings, whereas my practising muslim family do not).
I am really distressed and haven’t slept properly for a long time. I am constantly worried and sorrowful. I love him so much, but it hurts me to see how his family are.
I really want some advice, please. I am in tears. – Naaz
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Tenali says:
My advice is not going to please you but never the less I will try. Ideally you should have continued in your respective faiths and tried to convince your parents for the marriage. You mentioned that your boy friend will convert to Islam hence I am not very surprised with his parents reaction. I am sure reaction from your family will also be similar if you disclose to them that you are converting to his faith. When you loved each other, you very well knew that you are not from same faith. If so, where is the need for conversion? Which country are you living in currently? Are you financially independent?
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since you say he believes in Islam, he should convert to Islam. Would you choose falsehood over truth just because of pressure? He wouldn’t be the first to face hardship for the sake of Islam, this was the pattern for many of our early generations who accepted islam and were abused and even tortured for their imaan. Imagine the test they faced, and they didnt give in which is why they are the best generation.
as for your friendship, it is not permissible for you to have any sort of relatiinship with this man unless he genuinely accepts islam and marries you. you need to stay away, you arent even allowed alone together. if he truely believes in islam he will accept it whether you are together or no. it is not permissible for you to have a boyfriend. please repent to Allah and dont go back to this free mixing between genders. as for him, direct to the masjid, there are men who can help him.
Hi Admn. Thanks.
I am from Zambia, working in different organizations.
Shall be glad to know positive suggestions.
We feel trouble here. It is possible that he may be saying anything out of love, but after taking you to bed, he may start doubting all teachings of Koran and Muhammad. Ask him to start practicing Islam 100% for 6 months before you should consider marrying him.
For more answers to your questions, read http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111225090550AAvhjlX
Your IP address is from India, not Zambia, why?
Assalamuwalekum va rehmthullahi va barkatuhu
I am a Muslim girl( 26 years). I strongly believe in Allah and His Messenger Muhammad(saw). I want to share evrything regarding me and my family and my realtionship with the guy please guide me to the right path. My parents love me a lot; my mother was a psychiatric patient when I was 11; my dad took care of her and at the same time me and my younger brother. No one of my relatives helped my family at that moment but it is the patience of my dad and the by the grace of Allah my mother was mentally cured and me and my brother are into education. No body believed that we completed our graduation successfully as they know my mom’s problem.
My dad is a police constable. He is very strict and he loves me a lot he never used to call me with my name he always even now calls me as “maa”. I love my dad too but when it comes to studies he used to be rude which made me to write “i hate u dad” in one of my note book. During my graduation, I met with the guy who said he is in love with me and want to marry me as he is a non-Muslim (Hindu)( 27 years). For the first year I said no because I know that my parents won’t agree(our family is very big) but later on I realized that he is the one who cares for me a lot and then I said “yes”. It was a relation of about 6 years; I used to say I will leave my parents and will marry him. Also, I said I am ready to leave everything except my religion; I told him that I pray to Allah and he said ok.
When the pressure from my parents to get married increased; I told about this guy they simply said “no” as he is a non-Muslim. My mom’s health is getting worse, because of me her mental imbalance has started again(please forgive me Allah I love my parents and in every prayer I first pray for my parents’ happiness and health). As I didnt read Quran and its rules my mom realized me alot of things about Quran and Allah and his Messenger Prophet Muhammadh(saw). I don’t want to leave my religion and my parents. I want to read Quran but i can’t even forget about that guy who loved me a lot and I too did. My parents are asking me to forget about that guy and marry another one; how can I do that its like some other guy going to come into my life whose going to take dowry+my body not my heart. I don’t want the new guy to loose his beautiful life just because of me. As I referred this site and comments about marrying a non-Muslim guy I felt a little confident as he can convert to Islam. Again new problem he is ready to convert to Islam religion but he is asking me who will take care of his parents when they die who will perform the last rituals according to their religion. He has to perform the funeral and all that he is asking me if he converts to Islam how can he perform all that I can’t be a 100% Muslim. Please please guide me what to do?
My dad said even he go for Hajj; I won’t accept him how can I convince my parents and my elders? please, help me out I don’t want to miss my parents at the same time him also and most importantly I don’t want to leave my religion please guide me. If my dad still say no I want to tell him that I can’t marry any other guy even instead I would like to complete my life as an independent strong woman who believes in Allah and his messenger Prophet MUhammadh (saw).
Thak you very much for reading with patience please send me any solution.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5676
Why Muslims girls family hate Jew guy- Jews are way more intelligent smart than any Muslim guy. And Jews only pray to one true god, what why is girls father not ready, acc to Muslim’s Qur’an it does not allow girls to marry non Muslim IF he prays to many god, and is not people of book, so Muslim parents of the girl is violating their own religion. They should marry the girls to her lover.
Dear Naaz,
Thank you for sharing your life-story. Let us know which country you reside? It is important to know. Ask him to read “Hindu Boy” article (even he is Jew), and find out if he is really ready to convert to Islam and follow all Islamic practices? Make sure he is not selecting Islam over Judaism out of novelty or love, because both will wear down after marriage and he could create deep trouble in your married life. Ask him to come on this site to express himself, thanks.