Yashi says: May 16, 2019 at 8:32 am
Hi am jain girl and in love with sindhi guy… He and his family is ready to accept me but my parents are very stirct about religion…. I know they will never accept it… And they will get hurt… I love them… Even i cant run away with that boy… Because my parents would die of shame… That guy told me to break the bond and he is with me and will support me… But m crying every day… He is strong… Nd m way too sensitive….what should i do…. –Yashi
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I havnt gave any hint about this… But i told them that my friend who is a jain married to a sindhi girl… Nd their rply was… Ruin their family reputation by such act…… After this i dont think so i should confess them
Dear Yashi,
We can understand if you are in a very difficult situation. You love someone truly but cannot express it to your parents. Ultimately it is only you who have to make a decision that is right for you. The last thing you should do it to give up this love and marry as suggested by your parents and then be unhappy in the new within faith marriage. One way or the other, decide and stick with it without regrets.
Can you introduce your boy friend to your parents as simple “friend”? If not the only this guy, introduce him with a few other friends and thus it is not obvious. Later, talk to your mother (if easy to convince her) or (cousin) sister to be a mediator. This first step will certainly be very hard. At least try and see how it goes.
Now you are an adult. This means you are not any more a baby who plays at the tunes of parents. Now you should have open and frank discussion as two adults do on many life view points. Where you do not agree their views for life, you should be able to challenge them with rational logics. On the point of “Ruin their family reputation by such act”, remind them about several unhappy married couples in your family or even divorces (do you know a few?). Challenge them on–what good is to have family reputation if the guy you pick is not a right one for you?
Please keep in touch!
Dear Yashi,
We understand your love and it is natural to be sensitive and cry. However we request you stay strong and some thing good may work out. Have you gave your parents a hint that you are in love? Let us know.
First, running away is the last thing you should think about. Instead you should get into rational and logical discussion with your parents. Tell them that you will marry this guy only and it is only a matter of time (say this to them even you are not sure about it). This will help them feel a new reality of life and for what is coming in the future. There will be lots of arguments at home but you stay focus on your goal and reply them calmly. It is possible they may finally give up (it may take months!) and accept your love.
Are you educated? Can you find a job? This will help you be strong for what you want to do in life.
They are very strict about caste nd marriage… They will never gone accept this…. And i cant run away… But i cant let him go
Yashi, even i can understand your problem very well, as even i’ve to go through the same thing. I’ve been constantly telling her that we should never quit. It all depends on your parents, as the admin said there are many marriages which ends up in a divorce and many more in which the couple struggles but don’t separate due to society pressure. If the boy is ready to accept you and he’s letting you follow your culture even after marriage then your parents too will feel the same. You just have to make them realize. Its just one life we have and one life partner and one family and easy thing is to either choose one between family and the guy, but choose the difficult one and make them all stick together. Hope you guys marry 🙂
Hi Ketan,
Have you talked to her parents? Are your parents accepting the relationship? How long are you planning to have patience and keep waiting for parents to agree? Is she working?