Sasha says: February 11, 2013 at 8:37 am
Salaam,
My name is Sasha. My full name is Aleksandr and I was born in Chisinau, Moldova to an Uzbek father and a Moldovan mother. My father is a Jew and my mother was baptized as Eastern Orthodox Christian (her mother was half Jewish). I grew up as a half-Uzbek half-Moldovan boy, but deep down I always knew I was Jewish by blood. It took me until the age of 12, when I finally realized I didn’t have to hide it. That was from the help of a girl I had met, a Muslim. Over the year and a half, we had become friends, and she was not very religious nor was I. Together, we made promises to be halaal (kosher) together, and always watched out for each other. I made sure no man had ever touched her, and she gave me the friendship I had long needed in my life, she was my first friend.
Months passed (I was 13), and she had left to go back to Pakistan to visit relatives, then moved to a different state. I had lost contact until I turned 15, and we found each other again on a site. We grew back to our old friendship, and I had told her I had waited for many years for her return. She had apologized to me for never telling me, and we continued to talk. Valentine’s Day had come, and I was ashamed to tell her, but we shared the same feelings. I knew she was a Muslim, and she had known I was a Jew, but it didn’t bother us. We decided to further our friendship, but not become boyfriend/girlfriend. With our friendship, I had read the Qur’an with her, and she told me because of my caring and kindness to her, she no longer feels ashamed to be Muslim. I stopped calling Him Yahweh, and accepted Allah as the name.
Months turned into years and our feelings slowly started progressing to the point where we wanted to marry. We knew we were young, but it was the first instance of love we had ever had in our lives. I wrote her poetry in Farsi and Urdu for her to show my devotion to this girl. I have never looked at her with “imagining eyes” (sex, kisses, hugs), and I always encouraged her to wear her dupatta because it was beautiful and I had always appreciated her modesty. I told her sex is a marital bond and should only be shared between husband and wife, and she said she had felt so happy to know that I felt the same way about marriage as her.
At the time of her 17th birthday, I had sent her a gold nose ring, and some poetry, to show my affection for her, in which I told her I got her special gifts. The gifts quickly turned into nightmares though. Her mother had found my gifts first! While she was at school, her mother had peered into my gifts and was deeply shocked. By the time Aisha (the girl’s name) got home, she had found her mother in tears, praying Allah to forgive her for what Aisha has done.
I have felt shame in what I did, I had taken away her daughter’s trust, her respect, and also, her heart. Aisha had told me that we could not be together, not even friends because her mother now knows. She feared that if I came to ask for her hand, her mother would hurriedly rush her off to Pakistan to be arranged. I felt broken. The one girl I had loved, I lost over a gift. Our feelings were true, and we were never haraam with each other. Ever since that day, I have not smiled, eaten, slept, or felt any sort of happiness. We continue to secretly talk, but no longer with emotions. She does not want her family to lose their reputation, and begs me not to ask for her, as to not ruin my family’s name as well.
I find myself praying to Allah more and more, asking for my forgiveness for ruining such a family. I ask Allah to allow me to be with her and her family, not for sex or any haraam desire, but for the happiness we give each other, and I am willing to provide everything for her and her family. We have felt unhappy, but she asks me not to try to convince her mother. I feel like Allah has punished me for my actions. I was born a Jew, but feel Muslim at heart because of her. I do accept Muhammad as the Prophet, and tell her ways she can improve being Muslim everyday, which she has never thought of.
I want to tell her family that I will provide for her, and will never hurt her, and am willing to become Muslim for them if they wish me to. Her mother thinks I am any other man, who only seeks sex and to hurt and bring shame to her. She claims she has found everything in my letters to prove it, overlooking the obvious poetry I have written. She will not even give Aisha the chance to tell her about me. I try to pray to Allah to tell her mother that I am not the man she is thinking of, I am true in what I say and feel. I wrote her poetry from my heart, and I support Aisha’s decisions, I will raise my children as Muslims, for I have always loved Islam, even if I am Jewish. I wrote her mother a letter that Aisha does not know of, asking her mother for forgiveness and to give me a chance to explain myself.
My question is: If I become Muslim, what would I tell my family and what would I have to do? My grandfather who is a practicing Christian (father’s side) hates Muslims and Jews. I have told him about me being Jewish, and he told me “Never! You must not damn yourself that way. You are not Jewish and never will be. Absurd! (Insert long list of Russian cuss words)”
When I told him I thought Muslim women were the most beautiful women in the world, he had yelled and said in Russian (Uzbeks and Moldovans all speak Russian due to Communism) “Sickly! They hide themselves in rags and never even know the desire to love! They will never treat a man right, they only know their Allah! They are so sickly, and I hope you never find one! God will curse you to Hell for loving one of THEM!!”
I obviously do not agree at all with this, so please help me in finding a way to tell both families of the way I feel.
Khuda Hafez -Shasha
Dear Sasha, I really liked your this comment, and i hope that every boy should treat the same way as you did to their love irrespective of religion, your love is true love, this is what in ISLAM referred to as LOVE not “one night stand” “””””” I have never looked at her with “imagining eyes” (sex, kisses, hugs), and I always encouraged her to wear her dupatta because it was beautiful and I had always appreciated her modesty. I told her sex is a marital bond and should only be shared between husband and wife, and she said she had felt so happy to know that I felt the same way about marriage as her.””””””””””
A 13-year-old Yemeni child bride who bled to
death shortly after marriage was tied down and forced to have sex
by her husband, according to interviews with the child’s mother,
police and medical reports.
The girl’s mother, Nijma Ahmed, 50, told the Associated Press that
before her daughter lost consciousness, she said that her husband
had tied her up and forced himself on her. “She looked like she
was butchered,” she said about her daughter’s injuries.
Elham Assi, 13, bled to death hours after she spoke to her mother
and just days after she was married to a 46-year-old man. She
died on April 2 in the deeply poor Yemeni village of Shueba, some
200 kilometers northwest of the capital.
The practice of marrying young girls is widespread in Yemen
where a quarter of all females marry before the age of 15, according
to a 2009 report by the country’s Ministry of Social Affairs.
Traditional families prefer young brides because they are seen as
more obedient and are expected to have more children.
Legislation to ban child brides has been stalled by opposition
from religious leaders. There has been no government comment
over the case.
The girl — one of eight siblings — was pushed into marriage after
an agreement between her brother and her future-husband to
marry each other’s sisters to avoid having to pay expensive
bride-prices — a common arrangement in Yemen, the poorest
country in the Middle East.
According to police notes from the interrogation of the husband,
he was upset because he could not consummate their relationship
and felt under pressure to prove his manhood.
Assi’s mother said she also tried to persuade her daughter to have
sex with her husband so as not to shame the family.
Al-Hikmi took his young bride to a nearby medical clinic, asking
a doctor there to administer her tranquilizers so she would not
resist his advances. The clinic said it refused.
Al-Hikmi then obtained performance enhancing pills, according
to the police interrogation, and that night completed the act while
she screamed.
The next day, he returned to the same medical clinic carrying
Assi because she could not walk.
“I told him not to go near her for at least ten days,” said Dr. Fathiya
Haidar. She said Assi’s vaginal canal was ripped.
A forensic report obtained by the AP showed that Assi’s injuries were
much more extensive, including extensive tearing around the vagina
and rectum, suggesting that there might have been additional
intercourse after the clinic visit.
Her mother said she visited Assi later that day, where she found her
daughter fading in and out of consciousness.
“She whispered in my ear that he had tied her up and had sex with
her violently,” she said. “I said to her husband, what have you done,
you criminal?”
She said al-Hikmi told her that the young bride was just possessed
by spirits and said he would take her to a folk healer to cast them
out. Hours later, Assi was dead.
“She asked me to stay beside her,” her mother said.
The practice of marrying young girls is widespread in Yemen
and has drawn the attention of international rights groups seeking
to pressure the government to outlaw child marriages.
“Early marriage places girls at increased risk of dropping out of school,
being exposed to violence, abuse and exploitation, and even losing
their lives from pregnancy, childbirth and other complications,” said
UNICEF’s regional director Sigrid Kaag, in a statement Wednesday
condemning the death.
A February 2009 law set the minimum age for marriage at 17, but it
was repealed and sent back to parliament’s constitutional committee
for review after some lawmakers called it un-Islamic. The committee
is expected to make a final decision on the legislation this month.
The issue of Yemen’s child brides received widespread attention
three years ago when an 8-year-old girl boldly went by herself to
a courtroom and demanded a judge dissolve her marriage to a man
in his 30s. She eventually won a divorce.
In September, a 12-year-old Yemeni child-bride died after struggling
for three days in labor to give birth, a local human rights organization said.
Associated Press Writer Diaa Hadid contributed to this report from Cairo.
Source: AP
Hi sisters,
I am a muslim woman now 35 years,living in Canada. I lost my virginity during my graduation with my non-muslim BF. I could not marry with him due to pressure from my parents and had to use artificial hymen kit very tactfully on the wedding night, full of blood stains on the bed sheet, which was shown very proudly by my inlaws to the neighbourers.
Lateron I could not pull on with my muslim husbiand due to restrictions and divorced him. Now having live in relationship with a Hindu Brahmin boy happily, and soon marry him through court marriage with out conversion. A virginity for muslim female, it is a curse and why the same principle is not applied to the males?
The restoration of Muslim virginity is in demand in Germany. The Muslim women in need of new, unused hymen, are mostly older, 20 to 25-years-old Muslimahs. They come from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and the Arab countries.
The Muslim women call themselves Zeda, Aysegul, Cancun and Samar. They met anonymously on the Internet and discuss the vital issue for them: “I urgently need information on where a Muslim woman can get her hymen sewn restoration; what would it cost – please help me,” writes of them in the lifestyle and health forum. She received many responses within minutes.
On the WWW the Muslim women can share their fears and discuss Muslim issues undisturbed. Only a few could talk about this taboo topic within the family. The loss of virginity in Muslim world is as much disgrace as unwanted pregnancy. The Muslim family honor is equated with the purity of their daughters.
The Berlin’s family planning center receives numerous request for information on Muslim hymen restoration every week. “The demand has increased dramatically,” says Dr. Christiane Tennhardt. The woman are mostly between 20 to 25-years old and came from Turkey, Balkans, Iran and other Arab countries. “Most are not veiled and speak perfect German.”
The parents must be presented with the bloody sheet
Th story is the same: An Iranian woman wants to save her future husband from ‘Infamy’ and ‘disgraced woman.’ The Muslims of Kurdish persuasion present their bloody sheet to the parents after the wedding night.
“Many of the Muslim woman have had sexual intercourse several times, then comes the wedding and the reality catches up with them.”
It has happened that a Muslim girl has been raped by her family and then forced to prove her virginity.
There are cases when the restoration of the Muslim hymen is the only option due to the health concerns of the Muslim woman. The human rights organization, Terre des Femmes, disagrees on the hymenorrhaphie issue.
“The social significance of virginity is often utilized to deny women their sexual freedom and to restrict their lifestyles.”
Dr. Teenhardt has long worked with Muslim women seeking hymen restoration. It usually turns out that the Muslim women know very little about their own bodies and sexuality. “If I tell them that hymen does not necessary guarantee bleeding, or that some Muslim girls are born without a hymen, they’re very surprised.”
The gynecologist teaches the Muslim women how virginity can be faked.
In cases where the Muslim woman is in great distress and afraid of deadly honor violence, the doctor is prepared to perform the outpatient surgery. “We want to prevent mental and physical suffering.” The cost is about 200 euros.
How many thousands of hymen restoration operations are done in Europe is unknown. The demand is huge, shows the offers by plastic surgeons, some charging up to 2100 euros for the procedure.
One advert promises: For only 24.95 Euros (including shipping) you can save your honor.
The tips and addresses are also provided by Internet forums. “My gynecologist operates in outpatient basis and it will cost only 100 euros,” writes a Muslim woman.
Dr, Tennhardt emphasizes that much more important than tip for doctors and cost is to tackle the issue of Muslim woman through societal shift of thinking. The young Muslim women should be encouraged to demand their right to fuck anyone, anytime, anywhere.
My virginity was restored in a delicate operation just last week, and I honestly view it as life-saving surgery,” says Aisha.
“If my husband cannot prove to his family that I am a virgin, I would be hounded, ostracised and sent home in disgrace. My father, who is a devout Muslim, would regard it as the ultimate shame.
“The entire family could be cast out from the friends and society they hold dear, and I honestly believe that one of my fanatically religious cousins or uncles might kill me in revenge, to purge them of my sins. Incredible as it may seem, honour killings are still accepted within our religion.
“Ever since my family arranged this marriage for me, I’ve been terrified that, on my wedding night, my secret would come out. It has only been since my surgery last week that I’ve actually been able to sleep properly. Now, I can look forward to my marriage.”
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4409
Quon
How can i marry my muslim girl friend?
I’m black christian and my girlfriend is an arab muslim.She is working with me in Boston in a private company for the last 1 year.Earlier she used to put a scarf on the head, but now not. She ears pant and sleeveless shirt and looks very smart and sexy to me. We both are taking interest in each other, attending lunch and snacks parties together, going in the evening in the park.Earlier she was not interested in me because of my dark colour but now openly says she likes me.We have also seen movies and exchanged kisses in the hall.
I want to marry her one day but I don’t think her parents will aprove of me since I’m not muslim. So is it possible to marry her and if so what will I have to do without converting. She is scared of how to make her parents agree to marry with me. She told me that she is not virgin, as her cousin one day, when no body was at home, had sexual relations with her. She is afraid of marrying a muslim guy,if arranged by her parents, how to prove virginity on the wedding night. I told her dont marry any muslim guy, I am ready to accept her as it is.
Please guide me.
Guide to Mike at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4395