Jahanaarah says:June 5, 2013 12:29 PM
Assalamuwalekum va rehmthullahi va barkatuhu
I am a Muslim girl (26 years). I strongly believe in Allah and His Messenger Muhammad(saw). I want to share evrything regarding me and my family and my realtionship with the guy please guide me to the right path. My parents love me a lot; my mother was a psychiatric patient when I was 11; my dad took care of her and at the same time me and my younger brother. No one of my relatives helped my family at that moment but it is the patience of my dad and the by the grace of Allah my mother was mentally cured and me and my brother are into education. No body believed that we completed our graduation successfully as they know my mom’s problem.
My dad is a police constable. He is very strict and he loves me a lot he never used to call me with my name he always even now calls me as “maa”. I love my dad too but when it comes to studies he used to be rude which made me to write “i hate u dad” in one of my note book.
During my graduation, I met with the guy who said he is in love with me and want to marry me as he is a non-Muslim (Hindu)(27 years). For the first year I said no because I know that my parents won’t agree (our family is very big) but later on I realized that he is the one who cares for me a lot and then I said “yes”. It was a relation of about 6 years; I used to say I will leave my parents and will marry him. Also, I said I am ready to leave everything except my religion; I told him that I pray to Allah and he said ok.
When the pressure from my parents to get married increased; I told about this guy they simply said “no” as he is a non-Muslim. My mom’s health is getting worse, because of me her mental imbalance has started again (please forgive me Allah I love my parents and in every prayer I first pray for my parents’ happiness and health). As I didnt read Quran and its rules my mom realized me a lot of things about Quran and Allah and his Messenger Prophet Muhammadh(saw). I don’t want to leave my religion and my parents. I want to read Quran but i can’t even forget about that guy who loved me a lot and I too did. My parents are asking me to forget about that guy and marry another one; how can I do that its like some other guy going to come into my life whose going to take dowry+my body not my heart. I don’t want the new guy to loose his beautiful life just because of me. As I referred this site and comments about marrying a non-Muslim guy I felt a little confident as he can convert to Islam. Again new problem he is ready to convert to Islam religion but he is asking me who will take care of his parents when they die who will perform the last rituals according to their religion. He has to perform the funeral and all that he is asking me if he converts to Islam how can he perform all that I can’t be a 100% Muslim. Please please guide me what to do?
My dad said even he go for Hajj; I won’t accept him how can I convince my parents and my elders? Please, help me out I don’t want to miss my parents at the same time him also and most importantly I don’t want to leave my religion please guide me. If my dad still say no I want to tell him that I can’t marry any other guy even instead I would like to complete my life as an independent strong woman who believes in Allah and his messenger Prophet MUhammadh (saw).
Thank you very much for reading with patience please send me any solution. –Jahanaarah
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Tenali says: June 7, 2013 at 4:50 am
You need to decide which is more important in your life ( your religion or your spouse ). If you think your religion is more important, then it is better to forget the guy and look for a suitable guy in your community. Otherwise, life will be hell for you as well as that HINDU guy. -Tenali
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Prateek says: June 7, 2013 at 9:18 am
Hi Jahanaarah,
I can very well understand your situation and I hope that through my answers I would be able to help.
First of all ask a few questions to yourself:
1. Do you think that Allah is against love?
2. Do you feel anywhere that your relationship is wrong?
Proceed further if and only if you get NO for both the questions.
Now, first of all nobody needs to convert neither that guy nor you.
Next, as you are an educated person you can make your own decisions.
You say that you don’t want to leave your parents, who’s asking you to do that?
You need to explain about your love to your parents from your point of view, open your heart to them. Talk to your father about it.
Ask him that what is more important for him,his daughter’s happiness or society?
Does he and every muslim in this world follows Quran word by word?(you know the answer) but still ask him.
Have a rational discussion about this.
And don’t insult him in any way, tell him that you understand what he thinks and persuade him, thats best for both of you.
All the best to you!!
Do above things and update us here, so that we can guide you further. -Prateek
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Admin says:
Jahanaarah,
Tenali, Prateek and Tahira has already provided excellent comments, so let us cover other points.
If for you, pleasing your parents, believing in Allah and his messenger Prophet Muhammadh are all that is important in your life, then you should NOT marry him. You are so selfish that you only think of me, me and me. You are a love proselytize and love-Jihadi, nothing more. Why don’t you think that your Hindu boyfriend also has parents and a religion? How can you expect him to start believing your exclusivist supremacist intolerant teachings?
It is interesting that you are educated but never bothered to learn about Islam on your own. Do you know what Koran says about Hindus? Did you ever thought why Allah and Muhammad would be so cruel to non-Muslims; including Gandhiji, Mother Teresa, Barak Obama and Manmohan Singh? Please read all that Muslim girls have to say about Islam on this site and educate yourself.
If Islam is all that is important for you, then you should go marry a Muslim guy who is performing Namaz five times a day, plenty around. This way your parents will also be happy and your will be happy in a long run. Your husband will treat you just like your dad has treated all along in her married life, and in the end, Allah will take you into heaven.
You said, “I felt a little confident as he can convert to Islam”, why would you want a rose to convert to carnation? If you like carnation, why not to look for a carnation? Even he “fake” convert to Islam, he will create lots of problems in your life. Soon he will start feeling suffocated with all restrictions in Islam for him. Now he cannot celebrate Holi, Diwali, cannot enter a Hindu temple, cannot associate any more with other Hindu friends and relatives and has to ultimately forget his parents to please you. Soon he will realized that he was trapped into a scam and will start being a Hindu. At that time, you will feel HELL in this life. For all these reasons, we recommend not to ask for a fake-conversion to Islam.
Best for you would be to re-educate yourself. Know what Islam means to you? Learn from all recommended articles and figure out how come Islam is the only true religion, is it? Ask him to read a Hindu boy article. Get married in a court without any religion involved. In the end, you remain a proud Muslim and let him remain what he is, that is a Hindu. Teach children best from both scriptures and let them decide their faith at their age of 21. Believe us, if there is a God, SHE or HE will be more than happy to see you live a wonderful peaceful married life. If these are not possible for you, just forget him.
Let us know what you have decided to do. Best wishes. –Admin
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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hello
i like to friendships and philanthropy everyone thinking good
in my point of View.
you should ask him to learn quran by heart and you should also study geeta. you guys seems like education people, then both of you decide what is the best way to follow.
if you agree chosing one path then you guys could get married. if you dont, they simply started avoiding eachother and follow your parent and religion.
What is going on here?
Is this site created by some non-muslims? who seriously hate muslims??
and are looking for like minded people to annoy people and create fights over religions?
PEACE GUYS!
WE ARE ALL HUMANS.. TWO EYE, ONE NOSE, TWO EARS…
First learn to love humanity then your religions….
Dear Hussain,
Thanks for your humane ideals and we agree with your proposition. To the best of my knowledge this sight is run with the same message, i.e. equality in interfaith marriages and no conversion to any restrictive ideology. However the followers of Muhammad say that all those who don’t believe in Muhammad will go to hell fire. Don’t you think it’s against humanity? Why will the God do this injustice to glorify a man named Muhammad who is believed to have set example for many of the anti human practices?
jahanaarah but also my main problem is father agreement or you can say family agreement i say father agreement because as per we are muslim father agreement is the term for our marriage.if he let our marriage i didnt have problem to go india and get marry to him or he came here and we got marry but also ,yes i agree his absent from here since he lives in another country is our next problem but what we can do.im really trying to solve our problem soon,GOD BLESS YOU ALL.thanks.
Sara: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5686
HELLO,
jahanaarah,we have same difficult as per of my thinking.the problem is that i cant go to indian.my father dont let me go there what can i do.im sad really what i must do.jahanaarah can i ask where are you from?i really need help truely i had very hard days and help of you very much thanks to all of you.
URL: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5686
Hell Mr. Admn.
I have replied your query through mail also.
Sara you have a different problem. Your main problem is that
you are not present with your BF/ First either you or your BF
has to meet in India and marry.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Be in touch with your BF and find out how can you reach India.
Visit of your BF to Iran will not serve any purpose.
Before planning to go to India, please make sure that your BF
is committed and loyal to you for ever lasting relations.
May almighty bless you.
Jehanaarah,
Can you talk to Sara https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5686 (see above)?
We could help you link two of you.
Jahanaarah,
You have provided a wrong e-mail address to us. Can you e-mail to us at InterfaithShaadi@gmail.com for which country you are writing from?
yes for sure.i search for best solution.about one year ago i met a guy in the internet we went on our relationship and decided to get marry but we faced some problem at sometimes ago.first as jahanaarah said my father also dont let our mariage since im muslim but he is hindu ,i also believe in this ALLAH never disagree to true love and we hope for best i also love him very much and like to get marry soon and get rid of these problems soon but what is the solution my mind is very busy i feel worry and sad cause i wanna any problem get solve and everything get well.but the case is that as i said my parents dont let us get marry ,when my parents came to know about us ,and when i was telling them about ourselves after some while my father didnt let continue anything more and then told me to stop it.this time im doing effort to find some soultion we are seeking for some way how he can come to iran but i dont know how to help him cause i dont know anyone to help us in this case.i need someone who can sponsor visa him to come iran or at least i can do sth for him i very thank to someone who can help us with this case.THANKS in advance.
Reply at: https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5686
Dear Sara,
I am an Indian guy married with Iranian girl, right now living in Iran since long time.
Your BF can get 15 days on-arrival visa at Tehran airport.If you need any more information so you can drop me email on (k_tirmizi@yahoo.com).
Have a nice day.
Khuda Hafiz
Do non Muslim has to convert to Islam to marry a Muslim?
Hi Jehanaraah,
Are you both working?
How do you find your BF, committed and loyal for everlasting relations?
Based on these parameters, you have to choose your course of action.
Regarding conversion, I think it is not desirable issue, both of you have to accept each other as it is.
You have to strike a balance with the present situation in consultation with your BF and if no amicable solution comes out, better part your ways.
Hi Jahanaarah,
I can very well understand your situation and I hope that through my answers I would be able to help.
First of all ask a few questions to yourself:
1. Do you think that Allah is against love?
2. Do you feel anywhere that your relationship is wrong?
Proceed further if and only if you get NO for both the questions.
Now, first of all nobody needs to convert neither that guy nor you.
Next, as you are an educated person you can make your own decisions.
You say that you don’t want to leave your parents, who’s asking you to do that?
You need to explain about your love to your parents from your point of view, open your heart to them. Talk to your father about it.
Ask him that what is more important for him,his daughter’s happiness or society?
Does he and every muslim in this world follows Quran word by word?(you know the answer) but still ask him.
Have a rational discussion about this.
And don’t insult him in any way, tell him that you understand what he thinks and persuade him, thats best for both of you.
All the best to you!!
Do above things and update us here, so that we can guide you further.
Prateek,
Excellent answer.
Please use your URL to introduce yourself on this site… https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=866
Use this URL as your web site or as part of your text while replying.
i hope we can discuss and find best way INSHALLAH
thanks i see your reply on this site.im waiting for your reply miss jahanaarah.
Hi jahanaarah i have same very much same case as you,im very much eager to contact you and see how you handle the case i hope ALLAH will help us with best decide.could you please send your mail address then i can mail to you.also i have same case as your dad done allow.
Sara,
Can you share your life-story? We would love to help.
There are many Sara commented on this site, so if you have gave details earlier on this site, please give us the link to your URL (starting with http://www.interfaithsh….).
You need to decide which is more important in your life ( your religion or your spouse ). If you think your religion is more important, then it is better to forget the guy and look for a suitable guy in your community. Otherwise, life will be hell for you as well as that HINDU guy.