Five Hindu-Muslim marriages in 3 years!

Ambily Shanu says: April 22, 2013 at 2:47 pm (Edit)

Hi Dear all,

Me too want to share my story to all of you. Am a Hindu girl and my husband is Muslim. We were in love for 8 years. My husbands family was aware of our affair and they supported us to get marry (might be thinking that we were kidding and will forget as time passes).

But as time passed things became serious and only becoz of religion problem the above said people started opposing.

In my home, my parents were unaware of this relationship and they were seriously busy in searching groom for me. I am from upper class family and my area consists no Muslims. Moreover that our area people hate to love Muslims. So it was very difficult for me to reveal my love in front of parents when Shanu’s(my hubby) family was opposing and moreover that he was not having any permanent job.

Shanu rejected many visa in fear that if he goes abroad i may get married to any other person. Me too was rejecting each and every marriage proposals for no reasons…my parents were wondering.. they asked whether i have any special interest. But as i was knowing that the correct situation has not come and if a say anything it will spoil my freedom to step outside i said no.

But the shocking thing was that we both were not sure that we will marry each other, becoz our low intelligence said we are from different caste and marriage cant be possible. Then why Shanu and me continuously rejected the offers and proposals we got? Might be we were sure that we can live without each other but we cant live with some other. Our hearts was working and brain was sleeping.

Suddenly I got a job offer from Chennai. Our brains started working. After many fight I joined Chennai company (just to get rid from proposals). It became very easy for me to reject new proposals through phone. Shanu got his visa ready. just 4 days before leaving kerala for Dubai, I went to kerala and we signed a marriage contract without our parents knowledge. It was just a contract so no one could separate us after he go to Dubai. Actually the contract will get invalid if someone opposes it, but it was just enough to scare Shanu’s parents (if needed) who were unaware of the legal points.

I always wished to get marry in a temple of lord Shiva. Shanu accepted that and after 2 years we went to a siva temple with friends and married as per hindu ritual again without parents knowledge.

Shanu is third son of his family. He was looking for a chance to say our matter to his parents. We decided to say this after the marriage of his second elder brother. The second brother got married and it was Shanu’s chance. But for our surprise there parent went to marriage broker for his younger brother to search bride. When the broker asked what about Shanu, his parents said he has already fixed for himself. They ask him to take me home. I went his home. They warmly welcomed me. His mother hugged me tightly. Special food were made for me.

All relatives first came to see me. One by one neighbours friends villagers every one came. Shanu and me were surprising, thinking what we thought and what happened..unable to utter a word..gang of peaople made shanu’s family also in surprise becoz they have actually invited anyone. they didn’t even informed anyone. but some how every one came to know that Shanu has brought one hindu girl and around 300 ppl came to see me that day. ppl were fill in the house as of in some marriage function.

They planned our marriage as per Muslim ritual but the Ustad of Mosque was giving excuses for non availability of date. Me stayed at Shanu’s house for 1week before marriage. It was the most beautiful days. We were not allowed even to sit together before marriage and never they let us to be alone… But we made it… Romantic environment.

After 1week when again ustad said excuse Shanu directly went to him and said he want to change the membership from the mosque. That night we had our marriage as per muslim ritual in front of Shanu’s family, relatives friends and neighbours. and a good supper.

For marriage they were demanding sign of my parents saying that they are ready to send me to Muslim community. This was not possible coz my parents still unaware of the relationship. and they were thinking that am in chennai. Shanu Signed on behalf of my parents (This truth is known by Shanu, Shanu’s mother and me only).

Eveyone in Shanu’s family love me more than any other. They respect me and hear me and my opinoin. I felt am the luckiest person in the word.

Now this was the time for me to inform my parents. As love my parents i never thought to abscond. I informed my sister and she informed Parents. They were ready to marry me with Christian guy but not with muslim. They started brainwashing, advising, my mother and me cried daily for this matter. This situation existed for 2 months. I explained them, am a good daughter of you. I respect u and love u. thats y i didnt abscond. I want you to give my hands to Shanu happily?

They agreed at last and Shanu to come. Shanu with his brother came and asked me officialy. And my parents happily agreed. They talked with relatives were relatives said if u r making this marriage then no relatives will keep any relation with us. But my parents said we want our children happiness and they arranged our marriage as per hindu ritual at home where every one came except our relatives. This grand function was not informed to Shanu’s family coz of religious issue. Then we married as per Hindu marriage act and got marriage certificate. total of 5 marriages in 3 years… great!

We lost our dozens of relatives. But my parents are happy coz Shanu is a special character person and he took my parents in hand at the first meeting. Now they say to me that they will never let Shanu go even if i leave him. They say they got a very good person as their son in law. now they don’t have the sorrow of loosing dozens of relatives.
Me have a very happy marriage life and both of our families cooperate with each other in every function and situations and are very good relationship.

But do you know what all adjustments we both do to keep our families relationship smooth? Whenever I go to mosque with Shanu’s family or when i participate in their custom i inform my parents and accept coz hindus will accept other relogion soon? But whenever we go to temple with my mother we will not inform Shanu’s family coz as per them after marriage me too can’t enter temple. But Shanu comes with me and perform all rituals…

Yes in some mean we are cheating our parents but the god we both believe is something different from what they believe. We believe where love is there, god will be there. There is only one god in the universe who dot have any shape and gender. ppl believe them as per their convenience. But the same god has created us and our prayers are reached to same ears. Mohhammed, jesus and krishna are born as human with supernatural powers who can hear the god. They all came to earth to save ppl from sin and shaitans. But there is only one god known in different name.

When Shanu come to temple, he goes to Siva idol and pray hey lord shiva please pray 4 us to Allah..whatever we believes is our religion….whatever we say god can never see his children from different angles. he will never say to hate or avoid some category of ppl coz god only has made everyone……Our common thought on god is our strenght. We believe do good, thing good and definitely we will get heaven.

Now after 4 years of my marriage also i have not converted legally. While doing marriage in mosque they put my name as Shamna and they call me in that name (except Shanu)

Now what happened means i planned to take passport. This time a big issue arrived means i should change my address and name in certificate before applying passport. This was not at all accepted by me coz my experience letter of 5 years will go useless in which i cant change my name. Moreover that i dont want to change my identity. Shanu supported me and i took passport without informing shanu’s family (not yet informed). Shanu said he will handle the situation.

I want to do hujj (its my own wish, no one asked me to do so). So now am trying to take 3 months class to learn islam (conversion in other language). but whatever we learn my believes will be same. I was a human and will be human. I don’t have caste) it is just to get certificate of conversion so that i could go saudi for hujj….

Still now we live as per our wish without hurting anyone. If hurted we will give the proper reason.. following both rituals (we go church too) informing only things that should be informed. making many adjustments and telling little lies to keep our parents and family happy.

But we know god will not punish us coz we are in good path and for long happiness some times we can say small lies also.

I shared this much so that anyone who has no idea to solve intercaste love relationship problem could get some idea to handle things smoothly, u both just need patience, underrstanding, adjustment, sincere love, commitment, strong heart and believe in god. –Ambily Shanu

Admin Says:

Dear Samna-Ambily Shanu,

This is a very interesting story; a perfect one for a Bollywood movie. It is great that you both are pluralist and both visit each other’s religious institutions. It is your nobel thought that “We believe to do good, think good and definitely we will get heaven.” If every one in this World will be like Ambily and Shanu, it will be so wonderful place to live. Congratulations. We wish you the best. Keep us posted as your life evolves.

Well, we are here to critically evaluate different marriage situations. Let us also give you a counter view (that you may not like it).

Lies and deception are foundation of your married life. You are a coward and have no self-esteem. Because of your weakness to face reality of life, you are taking a cover under lies. You are “cheating our parents”, what a shame! If every one becomes liar like Ambily (asatya mev jayate; lies triumph), this World would fall apart in no time. We wish others do not follow your advice “telling little lies”, instead have courage to do that is right thing to do.

It is quite likely that your Muslim husband is also a liar. Probably he promised his parents that he will ultimately make you a true Muslim and that is why they were excited. He came to Hindu temple not with faith but was as a trick to trap you. As years go by, especially after children, you will see that he will be less and less at Hindu temples or ceremonies and more towards Islam. Only time will tell you the truth.

You said, “(his parents) were unaware of the legal points “ and further said, “i have not converted legally”. You think you are fooling Muslims, but actually you are fool yourself. You must realize that at you’re the first Islamic Nikaah wedding, you took (may not have realize it) Shahadah oath, you changed your name and your names has gone into a Nikaah-nama. Legally, you are a Muslim. They won, you lost!

Further, you said, “they (Muslim parents) supported us to get marry” and “They warmly welcomed me. His mother hugged me tightly.” You added, “around 300 (Muslim) ppl came to see me that day”. Sure, if they could convert a Hindu to Islam that certainly will be most joyous occasion for them. Your mother in law was not hugging a “Hindu”, but their future “Muslim” daughter-in-law. The day they will find out that you are fooling every one of them, their Allah and Imams, they will surely take revenge and you will have to run for your life. Theirs was not an innocent love for you, it was a conditional love (your’s conversion to Islam).

You said, “take 3 months class to learn islam (conversion in other language)”, please let us know what you learn there different than what we are asking you to read below.

Bottom line, one day you will pay big price to lie to every one. After child-birth, you will find out that slowly and slowly your husband and relative will completely restrict you from doing Hindu things, because you are a Muslim. You might as well, accept Islam and pay your price of lying.

We hope your Bollywood dream continues rather than the other potential horrible situation we described (it is only a hypothesis). We hope you go tell them the truth and make them tolerant to other Hindus too. Please go teach them, in your words, “to do good (karma), think good and definitely we will get heaven.”

Please let us know, as years go by, for what is reality of your life. We are waiting. –Admin.

ambily shanu says: November 17, 2013 at 3:43 am (read details here)

shanu shukathali says: November 17, 2013 at 4:17 am
hi,
am shanu.ambily’s husband.i love my wife. i love her coz her thoughts matches with my thoughts..i hv learn to respect all relegions. my family has taught me to lv evryone irespctve of caste and religion. even if any prblm arises we solv in ourself.

And admin i believ that u r strng divotee of allah..happy to hear…bt devotion has one anothr name too “humanity”..a persn with humanity wil automaticaly becm a divotee coz allah teach us to be human.bt ur words sm whr gave me a feelng that u r just a devotee

dear brthr, pakistanies and afganistanies take gun in the name of allah..am a poor indian. i just lied to my parents coz i lov to live with my wife haply and i wana see both of my family always happy.. Shanu

More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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