Anik says: January 6, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Hi, frnds my name is Anik saha i want help from u al who r reading this. I love a muslim girl nd my love is true and she also love me . Hum dono ek dusre ko bohot payar krte hain aur hamara rista pichle 3 saal se chal raha hai but my prblm is our parents . Recently uski mom ko pata lag gaya aur uske mom ne usko bohot torchture kiya bol ki agar usne mujhe nahi chora toh woh uski papa ko bol dange. Aur woh dono fasi laga k mar jaiyenge lekin mera gf apne mom, papa ko bohot payar krti hai isiliye usne mujhse breakup krliya lekin mujhse breakup kr k bhi woh roj ghar mein roti hai par mere pas bapas nahi ah rahi hai . Woh mujhe bohot payar krti hai aur mein uske liye kuch bhi krne k liye taiar hu . Plzz… Help me -Anik
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Admin says:
Interfaith marriage are always complex. It take lots of understanding and patiences. Please read all that is recommended below.
Probably for her, her love for Islam is more important than love for you. If she “apne mom, papa ko bohot payar krti hai” then she will soon marry to some Muslim. You said, “uske liye kuch bhi krne k liye taiar hu (for her I could do any thing)”, can you change your religion, change your name to some Arabic name, have circumcision, forget your parents and all Hindu friends and be a true Muslim? In love you will say YES, but in a few years you will realize that this (fake-conversion for marriage) is not you wanted.
Best is to complete your education, get a good job, be financially independent and then marry her (if still available) by court marriage. -Admin.
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Hymen Replacement Surgery, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,
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I will accept her if she divorce her Marthomite husband
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And if there are not two men (available) , then a man and two woman, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her. [ Surah 2:282] Therefore the situation is one of verification and documentation of rights and not one of judgement. Thus the versepoints to the best ways of documentation and verification by which partners in a deal can have maximum security. This therefore does not mean that a single woman’s, or a group of woman’s testimony without a man’s does not count in establishing rights nor is to be taken by a judge since the maximum required in jurisdictionis “evidence”.
Along this line of thinking, jurisprudent Ibn Al-Qayyim establishes that “evidence” in Islamic Law is more comprehensive than testimony; confirming “evidence” is the factor in establishing rights, what makes it “evident” and consequently what is to be considered by the judge.
The judge pronounces his verdicton the basis of decisive evidence,even if it were a non-Muslim’s testimony as long as he feels it worthy of his trust.
This leads Sheikh Shaltut to the conclusion that when two woman’s testimonies are counted as one man’s testimony, it is not because of some weakness or flaw in her mentality which would involve, in turn, a defect in woman’s humanity.
The verse, however, was so worded as to address the norms of that time, which are still very much the same for the majority of women. They do not attend debt registration sessions or transactions. The fact that some women take part in such activities does not alter the basic facts of life that the woman’s natural disposition in life such as procreation. Yet again, the verse serves as guidance on maximum verification. In some places, the tendency is for a woman to make transactions and witness the writing of debts; it is the people’s right to accept a woman’s testimony as they accept that of a man as long as they do this with equal confidence in both sexes” memories.
Still, Sheikh Shaltut does not stop here; he goes on to consider a case in which the word of men and women weigh equally: Thereis a stronger proof for equality inthe Qur’an’s statement that the woman is just like the man in the type of testimony known as the oath of condemnation [ An oath in which either the husband or the wife accuses his or her partner of adultery and the only witness is one of them. (Translator’s note.)] “And as for those who accuse their wives but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies (i.e. testifies four times) by Allah that he be one of those who speak the truth. And the fifth (testimony) (should be) invoking the Curse of Allah on him if he be one of those who tell a lie (against her) . But it shall avert the punishment (of stoning to death) from her, if she bears witness four times by Allah, that he (her husband) is telling a lie. And the fifth (testimony) should be that the Wrath of Allah be upon her if (her husband) speaks the truth”. [ Surah 24:6- 9] That is,four repetitions of the oath or testimony by the man concluded by an invocation of his damnation by Allah if he is lying, countered by and invalidated by four repetitions of the woman’s counter statement, also followed by an invocation of Allah’s wrathupon her if she is lying. [ Islamic Beliefs and Code of Laws, Sheikh Shalt,
Some people harbour certain doubts and raise questions aboutIslam’s stance on the woman’s status as a human being. Here wetackle the more important points of uncertainty or even scepticism.
One of these questions is: why, if Islam really regards the woman’s humanity on an equal basis with that of the man, does it give the man privilege over the female in some dealings such as legal testimony, inheritance, blood money, charge of the family, heading the state and other supporting ministrations?
The distinction (if it can ever be called one) between the man and the woman is not due to any preference by Allah, The Almighty, of the man or the woman on any account of being nobler or closer to the Lord. As a rule, it is piety and only piety that is the measure of ascendancy, nobility and closeness to Allah: ” Verily, the most honour able of you in the Sight of Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. one of the Muttaq ‘n: i.e. pious and righteous persons who fear Allahmuch](abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which He has forbidden), and love Allah much (perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained) “. [Surah 49:13] The distinctions, however,are merely conditioned by the different tasks assigned to each of the two sexes by virtue of their natural disposition.
Legal testimony
The Qur’anic verse known as “theindebtedness verse” in which Allah prescribes writing debt contracts as a precautionary measure is: “And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available) , then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, tile other can remind her. And the witnesses should not refuse whethey are called on (for evidence) . [ Surah 2:282] Thus, the Qur’an makes the testimony of oman equal to the testimony of two women. Moreover, the majority of jurisprudents establish that a woman’s testimony does not count in major crimes and in matters which do not relate to the rule of retaliation in kind.
Yet the distinction is far from being due to any belief in a deficiency of the woman’s humanity and integrity. It is rather due to her natural disposition and her special inclinations which may exclude her involvement in such matters while being focused on motherhood or the household. Hence, there is very likely to be a kind of characteristic inattention on her part when it comes to handling these matters. For this reason, Allah commands creditorsif they want to verify the value of debt to seek the testimony of two men or one man and two women. The Qur’an puts it unambiguously: ” so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her. [ Surah 2:282]
The exclusion of woman’s testimony, altogether, from casesof major crimes, and cases requiring retaliation in kind, is meant to protect women and distance them from sites of crime and aggressions against souls, honour and property. It is not infrequent, for instance, to see a woman closing her eyes, or running away in panic from a scene of bloodshed; therefore , itbecomes difficult for that woman to give a reliable account of the crime.
Nevertheless, this has also meant for the jurisprudents that a woman’s testimony counts in cases of feminine affairs such as foster relationships, menstruation, delivery and such matters whose knowledge was confined to women in past ages and probably still is. Yet, Ata’a-tabiei (literally a follower a companion of one of the Prophet’s Companions) establishes that a woman’s testimony on such matters does count. In addition, other jurisprudents accept a woman’s testimony in crimes that take place in female gatherings that are not usually frequented by men, like women [ Surah 2:282] oriental pools, wedding parties attended solely by women. and other such gatherings. The question, however, is: if one woman kills, wounds or maims another and the only witness is awoman, should her testimony be ruled out because it is merely given by a woman or should mengive testimony of something they did not witness? It is more in the nature of things to accept a woman’s testimony in this caseso long as she is reputed to be honest, accurate and mindful. Commenting on the verse: ” And if there are not two men (available) , then a man and two women” the former Sheikh of Al-Azhar Mahmud Shaltut says: The verse does not address the question of the status of the testimony. It rather addresses the methods of verification and establishment of confidence about the individual’s rights at the moment of transaction. The verse actually begins: “O you who believe! When you contract a debt for a fixed period, write itdown. Let a scribe write it down in justice between you. Let not the scribe refuse to write as Allahhas taught him,” until it reaches ” And get two witnesses out of your own men.
The difference between the man and the woman in their respective shares in inheritance established by Allah’s statement: ” Allah commands you as regards your children’s (inheritance) ; to the male, a portion equal to that of two females. [ Surah 4:11] , is clearly due to the difference in the duties and costs that each has to cope with by virtue of the Islamic teachings (shar’a) ” .
For example, if a man dies leaving a son and a daughter, the son gets married and pays the obligatory bridal money (dower) to the bride and as soon as they live together, he has to provide and pay for their living expenses.On the other hand, when his sister gets married, she receives the bridal money from her bridegroom and when they live together, the husband provides for her without her paying a single penny, even if she is among the richest of people. Poor or rich, her living costs are estimated in proportion to her husband’s financial ability. The Qur’an puts it thus: ” Let the rich man spend according to his means”. [ Surah 65:7] To simplify matters, if the father leaves a wealth of about 150,000 dollars, the son would get 100,000 and the daughter would get 50,000 dollars. Then the son pays the bridal money (dower) gives presents and furnishes a flat which may cost at least 25,000 dollars. If the daughter gets married and has the bridal moneyand the presents, she would get another 25,000. This makes them about even.
But this is not all; the man’s duties and spending increase as he provides for his children, in some cases his ageing parents, his brothers and sisters who have no income of their own andno one else to provide for them, and further still his relatives whoare in similar circumstances-all byvirtue of the Islamic Teachings (shar’a) and under certain conditions. For her part, though, the woman is not commanded bythe shar’a to furnish aid unless she chooses to do so out of goodmanners and morals.
Nor is the distinction in any sense absolute. Sometimes the woman’s share in the inheritanceis equal to that of the man’s. For instance, when the two parents inherit from their children; the Qur’an rules that: For parents, a sixth share of inheritance to eachif the deceased left children. [ Surah 4:11] The reason in this case is that the parent’s needs are often similar. If siblings inherit from a brother who has neither parents nor children, the Qur’an establishes that: ” If the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has leftneither ascendants nor descendants, but has left a brother or a sister, each one of them gets a sixth; but if more than two, they share in a third”. [ Surah 4:12] Thereby, the sister bythe mother gets a sixth, which is the same as the brother by the same mother. If there are more than two siblings, they inherit a third to be distributed equally among them. All this is to say that equality of inheritance exists in many cases, and they are well-known to jurisprudents and experts in these matters.
More conclusively, there are casesin which the woman gets a bigger share than the man. For instance, if a woman dies leavinga husband, mother and two brothers and one sister by her mother, the sister alone gets a sixth; whereas only one sixth is given to the two brothers. Also ifa woman dies leaving a husband, a full sister and a brother by her father, the husband gets half the inheritance and the sister the other half, whereas the half-brother gets nothing being merely an agnate. But if the half sibling is a sister and not a brother, she gets a sixth, as sustenance.
One more case where the womangets more than the man follows Ibn “Abbas’s interpretation of the verse: ” If no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs, the mother has a third”. [ Surah 4:11]
This is means for Ibn Abbas that if a woman dies leaving a husband and her two parents, the husband receives a half, the mother a third and the father a sixth. Ibn Hazm relates this statement to Ibn “Abbas via Abdul-Raziq, and to Ali ibn Abi Talib via of Abi “Uwana and to Mu’adh ibn Jabal who were Companions of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), known also as experts on such matters. Ibn Hazim relates it also to Shuraih and to Dawud Al-Zahiry, among the jurisprudents, and he quotes the companion Ibn Mas’ud’s axiom on the matter: “Allah would not like to see me prefer a father to amother.” Other authorities who concurred are Companions such as `Umar, `Uthman, and Zaid ibn Thabit. From their followers, there are Al-Hasan, Ibn Sirin and Al-Nakh’i. Among the jurisprudents, there are Abu Hanifa, Malik and Al-Shafi, may Allah be pleased with them all.
Hi readers,
Among muslim countries, there is another name of prostitution i.e. Muta Marriage. Muta Marriage” is a short term contractual relationship, lasting hours or a few days, where the man gives something of value to a woman and they “marry” and engage in sex for an agreed length of time. Once the contractual time expires the marriage is over and they go their own ways. This is legalized Islamic prostitution. Men get satisfaction and women get something of value, be it money, or clothing, or even a Quranic recital.
Narrated Abdullah: We used to participate in the holy wars carried on by the Prophet and we had no women (wives) with us. So we said (to the Prophet ). “Shall we castrate ourselves?” But the Prophet forbade us to do that and thenceforth he allowed us to marry a woman (temporarily) by giving her even a garment, and then he recited: “O you who believe! Do not make unlawful the good things which Allah has made lawful for you.” Bukhari: Volume 6, Book 60, Number 139.
Temporary “Muta” marriage is practiced today and often arranged by Imams and other Islamic leaders in Europe (the city centre’s where Shia Muslims cluster), America (Shia parts of Dearborn, Michigan), and of course in the Mideast. The most common victims of Muta marriage are destitute widows and orphaned girls who are sold to old men. These females are driven to extreme means to pay rent and feed themselves and their children. These females are abused by both the men who purchase them and the Islamic leaders. Muhammad’s system allows them to be abandoned and then exploited rather than responding with charity and compassion.
Sunni Muslims do not normally practice Muta marriage. But many Sunni Muslims today are ashamed of what Muhammad did because they know that Muhammad allowed prostitution to satisfy his men’s wants. And that’s the same story with Muhammad again and again. Like Felix and his bag of tricks, Muhammad always managed to pull a “revelation” out of thin air and change the rules of the game. If one reads the “Sirat Rasulallah”, (“The Life of Muhammad”, by A. Guillaume), one will find that Muhammad allowed, then disallowed, then allowed, then disallowed Muta marriage, etc. several times. Muhammad’s rules and religion depended on circumstances, not on God’s will.
Suhail, You bastard.
What is this in the Koran about women, “Women are your fields: go, then, into your fields whence you please.” Quran 2:223
“Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and forsake them in beds apart, and beat them.” Quran 4:34
“A male shall inherit twice as much as a female.” Quran 4:11
“Call in two male witnesses from among you, but if two men cannot be found, then one man and two women whom you judge fit to act as witnesses…” Quran 2:282
Hi I am Nagma 29 years originally from a asian muslim country, now working in the the DFO Homebush, Sydney, Australia which is the place for big name of 90 big brand under the one roof, available with ladies’, men’s and children’s fashion, lingerie, footwear, handbags, luggage, homewares and jewellery, all at up to 70% off the retail prices.
I am in love with a Sinhally Srilankan boy, who is quite compatible to in all respects, like minded,highly qualified, well mannered, polite and sincere too. My parents are opposed to marry him, but I donot want to marry a muslim guy who are notorious in dealing with their spouses. I have sexually enjoyed with him too. He wants that we should marry now as early as possible. Being in Australia and independent, I dont mind, even if I am disowned.
Seeking your advice please.
Advise to Nagma at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4075
Vist http://www.usislam.org the religion of truth
Dear Admn. Thanks for making an exclusive blog for educating our muslim girls and save their married life.
It is really a great service done by you through this blog. Some interesting and useful information and guidance has been given by our intellectual sisters. They are not in good number, but atleast some of them have given their views so frankly and intelligently, which I myself had never anticipated. The use of artificial hymen kit is a great blessings in the modern age particularly for muslim girls,who had subject to torture, rape, murder, domestic violence, cruelty, discrimination, kidnapping, torture and so on…..
My sincere thanks once again. VM
Hello
muslim girl dont worry. Get restored your virginity.
You can easily restore your virginity with a simple plastic surgery called hymenoplasty.
Gone are the days when muslim unmarried girls went through anxious days and spent sleepless nights over the loss of their virginity. After nose jobs, breast implants, liposuction and botox, the latest trend is hymenoplasty or hymenorrhaphy. Restoring virginity is fast becoming popular amongst women who desire to be virgins again for a variety of reasons. Over centuries virginity has been given social, religious and moral importance. Today, regaining lost virginity by repairing the hymen with a surgical procedure is fast and easy.
What is virginity?
Virginity is a term that refers to something being pure, untouched and unexposed. In context of olive oil, the first pressed olives with a low acidity of about .08% are termed as extra virgin olive oil. There are drinks without any alcohol mixture is termed as virgin. A female or male who has never indulged in sexual activity or had a sexual intercourse are called as virgins. Virginity in the human context is a concept that differentiates between people who have been sexually active and those who have not.
Losing virginity
If the hymen inside a woman’s vagina tears due to a sexual intercourse, the woman is supposed to lose her virginity. According to societal norms, the tearing of the hymen during intercourse acts as an indicator that the woman had never indulged in sexual activity. The hymen can even tear while doing a heavy workout, strenuous activities like horse riding and even while wearing a tampon.
What is the hymen?
The hymen is named after the Greek goddess Hymenaeus – the God of marriage and weddings. Hymen is a tissue that covers the external vaginal opening. It may or may not be perforated. It partially conceals the vaginal orifice. Biologically, the hymen is not an indicator of a woman’s virginity because a hymen may tear during a physically strenuous exercise, masturbation or may not be there at all. In some cases, the hymen can be so elastic that it does not tear at all during penetrative sex. Remnants of hymen can be present even after a woman gives vaginal birth. A woman or man loses virginity only after they have had a sexual intercourse, irrespective of whether there was a hymen tear or not.
Restoring virginity
Times have changed and the world has evolved. A woman has the power today to regain her virginity with simple plastic surgery procedures. Hymenoplasty or revirgination is a procedure that can reattach the hymen and bring back lost virginity. It is a plastic surgery process that repairs the hymen of a woman. It restores lost virginity in females.
Different ways of performing a hymenoplasty
If you plan to opt for the surgical procedure, ensure that you find the right cosmetologist or doctor. Find an expert and experienced surgeon for the surgery. Check and compare costs. Discuss the procedure that your doctor will follow. Do not forget to get complete information about post surgery care. Read and find information online. Here’s some basic know how on ways of how a hymenoplasty is performed.
Performing an immediate suturing after a tear has taken place
Create a membrane without blood supply. It is a cosmetic procedure that uses an artificial blood like gelatin substance. It can be performed a few days before someone intends to get married.
Creating a new hymen with the remains of the torn hymen
The doctor may advise abstaining from a sexual intercourse for a few days and prescribe medication to avoid vaginal infections. Follow instructions religiously.
Hymenoplasty is a controversial issue in many countries around the world. Different women have different reasons to restore their virginity and therefore vaginal repair and reconstruction is becoming a popular trend. It can save women of social embarrassments and grant them a chance to enjoy the conformation of being a virgin all over again.
Hello Anik,
You have not disclosed your age and your muslim GF age too. Are you working? what about her? Which country you belong right now?
On hearing reply of these queries, probably I shall be able to help you.
God bless you.