Mansi says: November 16, 2012 at 5:05 am
hi everyone….
i am in love with a Muslim guy from last 4 years and even he love me lot. and we both mutually decide to marry each other. but now as always, the problem arises about inter caste relation.i talked about my relation to my parents nd they stictly said no… and even restricted me in doing the job. they stictly stopped my relation with him nd told that, this can never be possible.
but i really love that guy. even he tried to talk with my father but my father was nt ready to hear his voice.
and they started searchin a groom for me.. nw i dnt knw what should i do. m totally alone nd cant find any way.
Should i go with my love and run away with him or should i agree with my parents and forget him.
plz help me. -Mansi
Admin says:
Mansi,
Only cowards will take one of two steps you mentioned, that is, 1) “run away” and 2) “should i agree with my parents and forget him”. Instead, if you are educated and wishes for a long lasting happy married life, be bold, honest and make fully “informed” decision.
Interfaith dating is like paying the Poker (Teen Pati) card game. Both parties are hiding their true cards and show only pretty side. End this “blind” game and find all facts upfront.
You read the Hindu girl article and ask your boy friend to read the Muslim boy article. Is that Muslim really ready to marry a “Hindu” or is he a telibani, Sikh-Meat love-Jihadi?
Together, put down on a paper what your married life will be like, starting from how will you get married (is Islamic nikaah and religious conversion necessary?) and will children be allowed to follow BOTH religions? Then go and talk to boy’s Muslim parents (very important) and get buy-in from them. Also tell your parents for your plan.
Give two more years to clarify all matters before you marry. Get back to us in 4 months what new you have learned. Best wishes. -Admin
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Agnotist (to Anmol) says: November 16, 2:07 am
For a love marriage to work out, even within the same religion (say inter state/ caste), parents are NEVER going to be totally happy. There is always going to be some element which they will not be happy about – culture, education, language, societal status, and in more serious cases like yours – religion.
For it to work out, both dating couple should put in 50% adjustment, and understand that their parents cannot be totally happy. In your case, it would mean, keeping your individual faiths. And respecting the others. And having a marriage based on equality.
If he can’t promise this, how are both of you going to deal with the differences hence forth?
Having a successful love marriage involves a) talking out to your individual parents, and putting your foot down when necessary, b) giving your partner equal preference (and ensuring her preferences are taken into account, if your a guy), among many others.
It’s just not all romantic like you see in bollywood.
So I would suggest, understanding what YOU want in the relationship honestly. And asking for it. And making sure you get 50% preference in everything – including what kind of wedding to have, no compulsion to convert, having your kids educated equally with sikhism and islam, and him coming with you to gurdwara, and you going with him to the mosque, among other non religion related things.
He owes you to convince his parents to be reasonable and not expect you to change, and you owe him the same. -Agnostic
Mansi says: November 19, 2012 at 2:37 am
.. to be frank, his family is good… not like rigid muslim family.. his elder brother’s wife is doing job in australia. so that type of rigidness is not being observed by me on his side. The issue is i have told my parents about my relationship and they restricted my job my sudies everyhting. and the fact part is, my boyfriends parents are still unaware about our relation. and rite nw my boyfriend is in australia for his further studies.. m in india. nw i dnt knw how do i face all the problems.
i cnt go against my parents even though i wish to go from my heart. nd i cnt sacrifice my love.
and in full forge my marriage talks had got started. no issssues with that also… i will go on rejecting the guys. bt what step nw should i take. m totally blank. -mansi.
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Satyen says: November 22, 2012 at 11:48 am
Mansi,
As you have some time to brainstorm for a benign solution, why not cool down and figure out what’s good for you. Though the problem looks a horrific one, it can be simplified if you follow the correct process of problem solving. Ask any MBA pass out and he/she will tell you that there are just a few issues at the root of a big problem! It’s called ’15% Rule’ in the Business lingo. To arrive at any correct decision, you need to have a right mindset. It means you must be willing to accept a rational solution (once you have got it) and will not be carried out with your emotions. First decide on your values. It simply means what is important for you in your future life. List the points and arrange them in order of priority. For example, reasonable income, caring husband, not intrusive in-laws, well cultured children … and so forth. Care should be taken to plan everything from marriage to demise. It should be as exhaustive as possible. Moreover, define every key element of it. For example, caring husband may mean different for different woman.
Similarly, enlist the values for your would be spouse. Again, make it as exhaustive as possible. Also see the issues that may affect your future relationsship with your spouse. Especially in your case as it involves very different values. It doesn’t matter where someone is studying or living. Values are not easily visible but they dictate our behaviour. The values can be suppressed consciously for some time but they will manifest themselves in the long run.
Now analyse your present relationship taking every critaria set above. Here, be careful not to assume anything (don’t take anything at its face value). If you feel, this is the best match, you have completed the vitally important part of your solution.
Next will have to find a way to achieve the goal i.e. how to marry with the guy. Again, enlist what are the root causes creating the obstacle in your path. Say, you have figured out it as religion. Again, figure out why this religion is not acceptable to your parents/kinsmen. Be objective and list out the reasons after gathering informations about Islam from objective sources. Once you have done it, you will find a way out of the problem.
You can do your own research and this sight can help you by providing you with holistic information relevant to your case. Don’t think your case is a unique one. I have seen very religious young age Muslims who have born and brought up in Canada! They live a life of true Muslim as per Quran! So, taking education in Australia doesn’t necessarly make one a liberal minded. However, it gives an opportunity to become liberal to those who consider Islam as a slavery to Muhammad. Does your BF think that way? -Satyen.
Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
We will marry by Hindu then Muslim ceremonies
since he is studying abroad he will never take that risk. One police report by mansi’s parents and gone is his degree status. So Mansi you have to be honest to your love and your parents to even elope.
Muslim should be wrong but every turn and step of life Islam guide human not only muslim don’t listen any body who belong to Islam and hindu you must listen on what mind and heart come to meet ……..and you keep following truth just know what he follows ……truth can be tourchered not be defeated …..
Dear Manasi
Have you ever read GEETA. Swadharme nidhanam shreyah par dharmo vayavah. You are an educated girl . Please see on U-Tube how the muslims kill cows and camels . Can u withstand that ? Hope if u have a heart , U can not.
Please do not get in to trap.Read history.
Mansi,
As you have some time to brainstorm for a benign solution, why not cool down and figure out what’s good for you. Though the problem looks a horrific one, it can be simplified if you follow the correct process of problem solving. Ask any MBA pass out and he/she will tell you that there are just a few issues at the root of a big problem! It’s called ‘15% Rule’ in the Business lingo. To arrive at any correct decision, you need to have a right mindset. It means you must be willing to accept a rational solution (once you have got it) and will not be carried out with your emotions. First decide on your values. It simply means what is important for you in your future life. List the points and arrange them in order of priority. For example, reasonable income, caring husband, not intrusive in-laws, well cultured children … and so forth. Care should be taken to plan everything from marriage to demise. It should be as exhaustive as possible. Moreover, define every key element of it. For example, caring husband may mean different for different woman.
Similarly, enlist the values for your would be spouse. Again, make it as exhaustive as possible. Also see the issues that may affect your future relationsship with your spouse. Especially in your case as it involves very different values. It doesn’t matter where someone is studying or living. Values are not easily visible but they dictate our behaviour. The values can be suppressed consciously for some time but they will manifest themselves in the long run.
Now analyse your present relationship taking every critaria set above. Here, be careful not to assume anything (don’t take anything at its face value). If you feel, this is the best match, you have completed the vitally important part of your solution.
Next will have to find a way to achieve the goal i.e. how to marry with the guy. Again, enlist what are the root causes creating the obstacle in your path. Say, you have figured out it as religion. Again, figure out why this religion is not acceptable to your parents/kinsmen. Be objective and list out the reasons after gathering informations about Islam from objective sources. Once you have done it, you will find a way out of the problem.
You can do your own research and this sight can help you by providing you with holistic information relevant to your case. Don’t think your case is a unique one. I have seen very religious young age Muslims who have born and brought up in Canada! They live a life of true Muslim as per Quran! So, taking education in Australia doesn’t necessarly make one a liberal minded. However, it gives an opportunity to become liberal to those who consider Islam as a slavery to Muhammad. Does your BF think that way?
Love is blind. When sex steroids are running high in your blood stream and 5-HT levels are high in brain, these logic does not work.
Actually, love is blind applies only to most non-Muslims. For most Muslims, their love for Koran and Muhammad never comes in question.
In most cases like Mansi, we could say with confidence that the Muslim boy will run away (love is over) as soon as Mansi tells him no BBS (especially for children).
So, if Mansi wants to remain blind till she marries, it is her choice. Ultimately the sex steroids and 5-HT will get metabolized and Mansi will be left with a true Muslim husband and true Muslim in-laws. If things don’t work out, in this new World, Mansi could easily ask for divorce. Only we request is not to get pregnant at least three years into your married life.
@ Satyen Sir/Ma’m,
99.9% of what you wrote is ‘just’ brilliant.
Srinivas,
Thanks for the compliments. A little attempt to awake all the sisters/daughters blinded by the so called ‘pure love’ and ‘only love matters’ syndrome. Will they respond to the call of a well wisher? Time will answer this question. Till then let’s put our effort in the right direction.
Mansi, I encountered two incidences of Hindu Muslim marriages involving Hindu gals in both the cases. I have copied and pasted it here for your review.
“I ve seen 2 Hindu Muslim marriages that have failed.. Both my friends..
In both the cases girl was from Hindu family and guy frm Muslim.. Initially the guys were very much in love.. They stressed that they wouldnt mind them following their own faith, they had many plans for future.. Like wt name they can keep thier kids, how thye would celebrate each others festival, how he would still love her even though she was a hindu..
After 5 yrs wen they told at home, as usual both families didnt agree.. Both were adamant on thier decision..finally guy’s side put a condition that she should convert to islam.. The guy started convincing my frend to convert…she was initially not ready, but he convinced her tat that the conversion ws only for getting married, and later she could follow her own religion..finally my frend agreed and eloped frm her house n got married..her parents disowned her after this..
The worst part for her was after wedding… She was forced to go to urdu classes, read quran, pray regularly, wear burkah, changed her name, not wear bindi..
She even attended her sister’s wedding in a burkha.. Though her parents didnt want her to attend because they disowned her, dey only let her because she was really very close to her sis..
She went thru a lot of such things.. She was in depression after this.. It was the worst situation for her.. We had tried to make her understadn of consequences earlier before marriage but she never gave ears to it.. Her husband didnt care even if she was crying, he was tied by his parents’ so called feelings as he terms it.. She finally divorced him.. She is devasted, she now says she did the worst mistake by taking such a foolish step in her life…her parents have gradually started contacting her unable to bear listening to wt happedn to her..she is undergoing a treatment with a therapist now..
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Another frend was a bit lucky that she somehow escaped from all this a bit early, but even she converted to islam, but she is a strong girl and now living life with a guy of same religion and veyr happy with 2 wonderful kids.. She is really glad tat she got over the situation and abel to live again happily..
I agree love is everything in life.. But wt abt parents who care for you,wt abt the faith that you have grown up with, wt abt your individuality are you ready to give it up just because you feel you can’t let go this untrue relationship.. ?
If you feel your bf is very much understanding and if he can stand by you all the time, and never ever try to chaneg you, pls go ahead and marry him.. Teach your kids best of both religions.. But else its better to cry for the lost relationship for few days rather than spoil your entire life..
I too was veyr liberal abt such marriages earlier, but after seeing 2 of my frends suffering I seriously feel such relationships should never be even though of, as they spoil your parents life, and eat up your own life.. After seeing thier life, I did a lot of research on this, I found that atleast 85 – 90 % Hindu Musilm marriages end in a miserable state.. I read many books after this, latest being ‘Avarana’ by S L Bhyrappa .
Pls don’t think tat I am trying to tell only one sided story of Hindu Muslim marriages, and I am trying to brainwash ppl by such posts but your life is really worth it, don’t waste it by a decision which is taken in haste or without thinking of the consequences..
Take right decision which can keep you ,your parents happy..
All the best..”
A very typical story, actually too boring to read because nothing change in the story line.
The main issue is why an intelligent girl like Mansi, even is in love for 4 years, has not spent 5 min on google to learn that conversion to Islam is the only option before Nikaah?
@ Admin and Satyen,
Yes you are right about that 5 minutes. Much better could be every girl and guy analyzing every possibility in the beginning itself.
Satyen , it is great that you read that book. Were you able to complete it?
Even after reading that book, I do not understand why you write such things and sound some times apologetic.
One guy, Naman Shetty – facebook fiend, pointed this great book to me. But I did not read it.
Reading the review itself was frightening as it says only tough people should read that book. Few days back, I pointed to how Hindus are being made to condemn themselves. This book equally talks about this, it looks like. And I also wrote about how and why left engineers this kind of self flagellation in Hindus, probably I will paste the whole from my facebook page.
I suggest this book to admin too.
Here is the review:
http://aavaranavimarshe.blogspot.in/2007/03/review-sl-bhairappas-aavarana.html
Hi
Domestic violence is an ongoing, debilitating experience of physical, psychological, and/or sexual abuse in the home,against women.
Although Islam promises women protection from such problems, the reality in many Muslim homes is different.
The most common form of abuse is emotional and mental abuse. In Muslim homes, this includes verbal threats to divorce the wife, to remarry, or to take the kids away if she does not do exactly as she is told; intimidation and threats of harm; degradation, humiliation, insults, ridicule, name-calling, and criticism; false accusations and blaming her for everything; ignoring, dismissing, or ridiculing her needs; neglect and the silent treatment; spying on her; telling her she is a failure and will go to hell; twisting Islamic teachings to make her feel worthless because she is a woman; restricting her access to transportation, health care, food, clothing, money, friends, or social services; physical and social isolation; extreme jealousy and possessiveness; lying, breaking promises, destroying trust; etc.
Emotional abuse can take place in public or at home and can continue in physical or sexual abuse.
Although it’s completely contrary to the example of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, the Muslim community nonetheless tends to dismiss the seriousness of mental abuse, rationalizing it as a petty argument between husband and wife, and saying it’s not serious unless he hits her. In reality, mental abuse does severe psychological harm to many Muslim women. It destroys their self-esteem and makes them question their self-worth; some have mental breakdowns and go insane.
There are a number of factors that make many Muslim men abusive.
– Abusers are often part of a cycle, picking up the habit after watching their own fathers abuse their mother.
– For cultural reasons, some Muslim men accept the idea that it’s normal for a man to hit his wife and that she is no more than a piece of his property.
– Some Muslim husbands abuse their wives as a result of frustration resulting from economic hardship, political oppression experienced outside the U.S., problems with the children, or an inferiority complex.
– Some abuse their wives because they want them to be more “modern” and less Islamic by removing their hijab (Islamic dress), while others are abusive because they want the opposite.
– Some Muslims with superficial ties to Islam don’t know that abuse is unacceptable due to their weak faith, poor Islamic knowledge, and lack of interaction with the Muslim community.
– Tragically, some Muslim men actually use Islam to “justify” their abusive behavior. Focusing on rituals, considering themselves to be Islamically knowledgeable, and disregarding the spirit of Islam, they wrongly use the Qur’anic verse that says men are the protectors and maintainers of women to go on power trips, demand total obedience, and order their wives around. They disregard the Islamic requirement for the head of the household to consult with other members of the family when making decisions.
Then, if their wives dare to speak up or question their orders, these men misinterpret a Qur’anic verse that talks about how to treat a disobedient wife and use it as a license for abuse.
In reality, the Qur’an and Sunnah provide clear instructions on what procedures a husband must use in conflict situations where the husband is innocent and the wife is rebellious and at fault. The first step is a peaceful discussion between the two of them about the problem and solutions. This is intended to soften hearts and eliminate misunderstandings. If this doesn’t work, the next step is for the husband to tell his wife his expectations in a firm, decisive manner. If the rebelliousness and disobedience continues, the husband is supposed to leave the bed, which is really a punishment for both of them for not being able to resolve their differences. If that fails to solve the problem, representatives of both sides meet to try and arbitrate. As a last resort, if he thinks it will prevent divorce by letting the wife know how serious he is, the husband can use a light slap on the hand or shoulder but not on any other part of the body, and it shouldn’t leave a mark or scar. Anything beyond this is Islamically prohibited.
This procedure is to be followed only when the wife is the cause of a serious problem and the husband is innocent, compassionate, and well-behaved. If the husband is the cause of the problem, he has no right to do any of this.
Unfortunately, Muslim wives often accept un-Islamic treatment from their husbands because they don’t know their Islamic rights, and they don’t realize their husbands are crossing the Islamic line.
Abusive men are completely disregarding the Islamic teachings of kindness, mercy, gentleness, and forgiveness, just as they are disregarding the example of
Abused Muslim women also keep quiet out of a feeling of hopelessness and a belief that no one will help them, out of financial dependence on their husbands, out of a desire to keep homes together for the children’s sake, or out of love for the abusive husbands. Other Muslim women accept the abuse as a fact of life and learn to live with it.
Of those who reach a breaking point and seek help, many Muslim women turn to imams but often find them unhelpful. Imams often tell these women to be patient and pray for the abuse to end. Some imams make the abused Muslim women feel guilty, telling them they have brought the abuse upon themselves and instructing them to go home and please their husbands. Other imams, who are sincerely but mistakenly misinterpreting Islam by putting the importance of family privacy above any harm that might come to the individual woman, tell the women it is wrong for them to discuss their problems with anyone other than their husbands. The imams’s reactions stem from ignorance, cowardice, or friend-ship or blood relationship with the abusive husbands. Relatively few imams have had the wisdom and courage to tackle the problem head-on. As a result of this, many abused women don’t bother turning to imams for help.
Many women go even further, leaving Islam altogether because the Muslim community fails to live up to the Islamic promise of protection, brotherhood, and sisterhood.
A lot of work, but the problem is serious enough to warrant a lot of work. The Muslim community has shamefully tolerated abuse for a long time. How much longer will Muslim families (and therefore the Muslim community) be weakened by abuse? How much longer will abusers be allowed to run free and unpunished in the community? How much more abuse will Muslim women have to endure before the community decides that enough is enough?
The Muslim community has clearly failed in its obligations to protect many Muslim women and to bring many cruel Muslim men to justice. The community needs to deal much more effectively with wife abuse in order to stop the immediate suffering of people in abusive situations and to help build healthy Muslim families
Hello every one.
Please go through the following islamic texts about so called Prophet?
This is from a book called “Kanz Al Umal” (The Treasure of the Workers), in the chapter of “The issues of women”, authored by Ali Ibn Husam Aldin, commonly known as Al-Mutaki Al-Hindi. He based his book on the hadiths and sayings listed in “Al-Jami Al-Saghir,” written by Jalal ul-Din Al-Suyuti.
Narrated by Ibn Abbas:
“I (Muhammad) put on her my shirt that she may wear the clothes of heaven, and I SLEPT with her in her coffin (grave) that I may lessen the pressure of the grave. She was the best of Allah’s creatures to me after Abu Talib”… The prophet was referring to Fatima , the mother of Ali.
The Arabic scholar Demetrius explains : “The Arabic word used here for “slept” is “Id’tajat,” and literally means “lay down” with her. It is often used to mean, “lay down to have sex.” Muhammad is understood as saying that because he slept with her she has become like a wife to him so she will be considered like a “mother of the believers.” This will supposedly prevent her from being tormented in the grave, since Muslims believed that as people wait for the Judgment Day they will be tormented in the grave. “Reduce the pressure” here means that the torment won’t be as much because she is now a “mother of the believers” after Muhammad slept with her and “consummated” the union.” ]
MANSI PLEASE REVIEW YOUR DECISION BEFORE SPOILING YOURSELF
VM
Hello Mansi,
Are you sure that you have assessed your BF precisely? Dont get trapped, otherwise your bad days are beginning.
I am a muslim girl and I know how badly muslim guys treat their wives, beating, abusing, torturing, restricting their movement, no freedom of job and all sorts of cruelty in the name of islam will start soon on you. It is better to jump into a well than marry a muslim guy under emotions.
Right now, he may be sweet like honey, but once you are married, his sexual requirement is complete, he will start looking for another girl, as 4 wives are permitted in the Islam and any moment you will be tortured, divorced, with no point of return.
Take a judicious decision in a sound frame of mind. Good luck.
hey gazala,
thank you so much for ur reply. but to be frank, his family is good… not like rigid muslim family.. his elder brother’s wife is doing job in australia. so that type of rigidness is not being observed by me on his side. The issue is i have told my parents about my relationship and they restricted my job my sudies everyhting. and the fact part is, my boyfriends parents are still unaware about our relation. and rite nw my boyfriend is in australia for his further studies.. m in india. nw i dnt knw how do i face all the problems.
i cnt go against my parents even though i wish to go from my heart. nd i cnt sacrifice my love.
and in full forge my marriage talks had got started. no issssues with that also… i will go on rejecting the guys. bt what step nw should i take. m totally blank.
mansi.
Mansi,
Sorry to hear of your condition, please hang on here for guidance from our excellent consultants.
YOUR PARENTS ARE MAKING A MAJOR MISTAKE. All parents must realize that they don’t own the child or the child is not their property, only that the child has come to this world through the parent. To go against wishes of an adult (here Mansi) is against the law. These parents had Mansi for about 20 years to make her smart but apparently they have completely failed. Today Mansi is gullible and naiive for reality of life. If they force her, like pressing the spring too hard, it is going to bounce back for a worst decision. Absolutely ignorant parents, sorry.
What do you mean by “his family is good… not like rigid muslim family”? Are you saying most Muslims are bad?
What do you mean by “his elder brother’s wife is doing job in australia. so that type of rigidness is not being observed by me on his side”? This does not prove anything.
Even after 4 years in relationships, still you have not… “my boyfriends parents are still unaware about our relation”? What a grave mistake, what a stupidity. Be bold, text them, call them, walk in their home and tell them that I am going to MARRY YOUR SON WITHOUT RELIGIOUS CONVERSION. You will have all answer you are looking for in 5 minutes.
Never ever think of “fake” conversion for marriage. As we asked earlier to all…”If you get talaak in the middle of a cold night and asked to move out without any bags of your own cloths, where will you go from here? Your Hindu friends? Back to your Hindu father and Hindu brother with whom you spoiled relationships with?” If you are smart, you got to have a back-up plan for this day.
Sorry to be harsh on you, but please find facts as soon as possible. Talk to his parents today. Be bold. Please please please talk to his parent now, please.
Mansi,
We are concerned about you, we hope you are managing to keep sane. You are going through a lot, do not make any irrational decision. In the end, all will work out well.
It is possible that your Muslim boy friend and his family may be open minded, but do not assume anything. Ask your bf to blog on this site and we will find out what he is up to. Make a point of No BBS, especially for children. Go meet his parents and introduce yourself.
Somehow win trust of your parents. Tell them to trust you and that you will make only right decisions for life. Go back to work (or school) and keep busy. Do not marry to someone you don’t like, however do consider guys recommended by your parents.
Do not get depressed. Everyone goes through difficult time in their life. Everyone makes mistakes in life; however it is important to learn from your mistakes and get back on track fast. Please keep posting your situation here. We are here to guide you and take care of you. We are your new family here, please keep in touch for life. With love and sympathy, best wishes.
Mansi,
I would also like to add this to what everyone else and admin has said.
Your story gives me the impression that your family is extremely strict and conservative. Psychologically to be rebellious and get what you want, and to date, you have been dating a guy. Because he seems the opposite of what your parents are, and if your even slight rebellious, its the anti thesis of what your parents would like – a boy of a different religion!
Now you want to marry him, because they are looking out for your marriage, and you think that marrying him will save you of an arranged marriage as per their wishes. Am I not right?
You are jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
Difference between your parents and him: your parents genuinely want your good, and are doing it in the wrong way by being strict.
He is probably having fun with you, might marry you if you give up your culture/ religion/ values and family, and WILL NOT give you any liberty once he has you. i.e, you will have to listen to your new parents (HIS parents) who will be stricter than your parents, and will not exactly want your good as much as your own parents do.
If you want freedom and to be rebellious, and get your way do the following:
Go get a better education, a fat paying job, super successful career and refuse marriage to anyone until your 25+. Settle for a broad minded hindu boy as educated as you living in a metro city or abroad.
Marry to make your life better, not just for immediate fantasy and to “feel thrilled”.
I don’t want to sound rude, but you give me the impression that you have not thought about the implications of this. You say his sister works in australia. This is really no big deal, given today’s globalization.
Agnostic,
A super analysis of the situation. You are certainly a Ph. D. candidate, someone with good critical thinking and analytical mind.
Mansi,
Agnostic also was in relationship with a Muslim. Consider her as your sister and ask for guidance for what to do and what not to. Do not give up, a bright future and life is ahead waiting for you.
To all parents, You cannot not force on your children, but yes, certainly you try to influence them.
Here, Mansi’s parents are suppressing her but like a spring and she is only going to bounce back. Under undue pressure from her parents, now Mansi cannot not see major problems from the Muslim family side. This undue pressure at home is taking away Mansi’s critical thinking power.
Raising children is like holding a wet soap in your hand while taking shower. If you told the web soap too hard or too soft, it is going to sleep out of your hand. Give liberty and freedom to your children and at the same time give them constant guidance for what is right and what is wrong, and ultimately let the child make his/her own future.
Also read comments to Mansi by Satyan and Srinivas at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=3384&cpage=1#comment-33828
Hi Mansi,
Have patience. Don’t marry anyone in a rush. My advice would depend on the following:
1. are you financially independent? Do you work and have a good salary?
2. Where do you live?
3. How old are you?
4. How old is your boyfriend?