Arsh says: January 18, 2014 at 7:08 am
I am a hindu girl and soon to marry a Catholic guy from India.
We live in London. My family is in South Africa and his are in Goa.
We (more him than me) decided to get married in court, however I feel that this option just lacks substance.
His parents are opposed to a hindu priest and having a Puja therefore we cannot have a hindu wedding. My fiancé has not pressured me into a Church wedding or changing my religion, and on this basis he is insisting on a church wedding. Somehow i feel that something is missing. He will not even agree to blessing from both religions.
My family will not arrange a marriage for me with bits and pieces of hindu tradition in order to suite his wishes, and i am beginning to understand why this is the case.
I would like to marry him – i respect both religions – but its difficult to bring it together.
Has anybody been in this position.
I cannot visualise how we are going to do this. -Arsh
Admin says:
Dear Arsh,
Considering high divorce rates in the West, do not marry till you are sure what you are getting into.
These are some of most concerning matters to us, “We (more him than me) decided to get married in court”, “opposed to a hindu priest and having a Puja”, and “insisting on a church wedding”. On one side, they don’t like Hindu pooja (because it is sin) but they want church wedding, why? Is it because Hinduism and its practices are wrong and Christianity (not Islam, Buddhism, Jainism, atheism, …) is the only way to salvation?
Christianity is fundamentally an exclusivist supremacist faith and is intolerant to Hindu belief system in many respects (read Bible on Hindus?). Today, most Christians in the West are no more carrying such intolerant beliefs. However, Goan Christians are probably most intolerant (read Goan Inquisition).
His Goan church will ask you to convert by baptism or at least ask for signing a pre-Nuptial agreement to raise children Christian only. Please go visit his church to find facts.
We agree to your parents for “not arrange a marriage for me with bits and pieces..” Why should they settle for this crappy deal? They have pride in their culture and heritage.
If he cannot tolerate you for what you are, why you wish to tolerate his intolerance against you?
Tell him that you are a Hindu and will remain that way till your last day. Further, our children will not be labeled with any faith (like child baptism) and will be taught from both Bible and Geeta 50:50. At their age 21, they will decide their own religious fate. If he does not agree to it, it is time to dump this religious fanatic. –Admin.
Also read: Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity.I am a Parsi boy married to a Sikh Girl under the Special marriage act and both our parents were witnesses. However, my father started developing issues wiht my wife and threatened to chuck us out of his house and he sent an email to my in-laws as well stating the same.
A Hindu boy in love with a Catholic girl
As someone whose ancestors were probably Hindu, but grew up in a Catholic family (converted many generations ago), let me state:
* It would be common for a believer from a monotheistic faith to accept someone else’s beliefs as equal to his or her own. Please note, I say “common” (and not correct). We may not like it, but that is how it is. Since I am not particularly religious, I would have no problem. But if I was devout, I guess I might.
* “…your ancestors were forcibly converted to Christianity” is one of those myths promoted today about Christians in India, and particularly in places like Goa, which have their own peculiar and complex (if over-simplified) historical reality. I would question this over-simplification and say that religious conversion here took place due to a mix of diverse motives. Including, the chance to improve one’s status in life, the possibility of retaining privilege, or even being convinced by what one thought to be was a ‘superior’ way of life. Like Indians who migrate Westwards today, they don’t do so because they are forced to, right?
You feel ashamed? lol. Do you have 1 mtr long hairy dick that makes you different from hindus?
As a Catholic, I feel ashamed that this guy has even considered a Hindu girl for marriage. He knows the rules of our religion, there are millions of unmarried Catholic women worldwide (plenty of them in the UK) and he picks a non-Catholic??! In our religion, Matrimony is a holy sacrament and is not to be entered into lightly. As the Bible says: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
I also disagree with this statement:”Today, most Christians in the West are no more carrying such intolerant beliefs.” A devout Christian anywhere in the world (e.g. attends Church services every Sunday instead of just social events like weddings/funerals) would not marry outside his/her religion. The Canon Law of various Christian denominations (Catholic, Orthodox, etc.) is also very clear regarding marriage to a non-Christian. For Catholics, a marriage outside the Church would be considered canonically invalid (which is why a Civil ceremony has to be followed by a Church ceremony). The Catholic Church (everywhere, not just in Goa) would also ask for the agreement regarding the children’s Catholic religion in case of marriage to a non-Catholic. otoh, the Orthodox Church would demand the conversion of the non-Christian party.
Frankly, this couple should break up and the 2 persons concerned should marry those of their own religion.
How do you feel knowing the fact that your ancestors were forcibly converted to Christianity?
Ravi, I haven’t traced my family tree and so I don’t know what religion my ancestors had before their conversion. Anyway, I’m glad my ancestors decided to be Catholic, whether by force or voluntarily.
Sameer, read my full comment again. I’m not criticising any Hindus, just the Catholic guy who’s ignoring the rules of our religion.