MYRA says: November 1, 2022
Hi,
I am a 29 year old Hindu girl. My partner is a 29 year old Muslim boy and we fell in love about 6 months ago. We live in the US.
We are both completely okay with each other’s faith and are liberal about how faith should guide us in the way of life. To be very honest, we are both not very strictly religious and view our faiths as a mere guideline into unraveling the truth of our world. We also believe that ultimately love, emotional and intellectual compatibility are key to a happy long term relationship.
He revealed to me 2 months ago that his dad and mom (who are divorced for context but are remarried to their now spouses) are very conservative and would not understand the relationship. I want to get advice on how he should go about broaching this subject with his parents and convincing them that this interfaith relationship is rooted in love and happiness.
My parents were also worried about our compatibility but we were able to work through that and they realized that choosing love and happiness is what they want for me. –Myra
MYRA says: November 6, 2022
Hi,
Thank you so much for replying. I’m so glad for all the work you are doing. I’ve made it clear that I won’t convert and he is just contemplating how to broach the subject of marrying a Hindu girl with his parents. I totally get that he should’ve thought about this before and that’s completely valid. I’m a bit disappointed as well.
We’re at the point of him either standing up to his parents or breaking up. In terms of standing up to his parents, how should he try to bring it up?
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Love-Jihad: Use and misuse of the term
Myra
If you believe your BF is truly loving you.. just tell him, for all culture compatibility
1. To adopt a good Hindu name and switch over to Hinduism permanently. If Yes next..
2. Both of Get married in a hindu marriage with a local Hindu priests and get certified as a hindu vivah.
If love is true conversion to Hinduism is easy for your BF.
This way in future kids will not be confused about identity issues.
Hi,
Thank you so much for replying. I’m so glad for all the work you are doing. I’ve made it clear that I won’t convert and he is just contemplating how to broach the subject of marrying a Hindu girl with his parents. I totally get that he should’ve thought about this before and that’s completely valid. I’m a bit disappointed as well. We’re at the point of him either standing up to his parents or breaking up. In terms of standing up to his parents, how should he try to bring it up?
Dear Myra, we are so happy that you found our guidance valuable. We are committed to help you step wise. Only we request you is to keep us posted here. This is the way we can help other innocent girls.
I know you said you are not too religious, but we put Goddess Durga‘s photo as a featured image to strengthen your confidence as a lady. You are powerful, don’t be submissive to his irrational religious demands so he could go to heaven in his afterlife (and put you in hell in this life!!).
On this point “I totally get that he should’ve thought about this before”, it is common that they play “innocent game”. As in my love-Jihad article (note we are not saying he is a
Love-Jihadi), ask him about 24:30 and 2:221. Ask him if he believes in the Koran or not. He cannot pick and choose from the Koran.
On “In terms of standing up to his parents, how should he try to bring it up?”, tell him your parents are your problem and my parents are mine. Tell him to discuss with his Muslim parents about 1) you not converting and 2) children will be raised in both faiths (that means both of you have to go to mosque and mandir, a must! -even you are not religious or are atheist). If he comes and says they are okay, then you go and meet them and clarify personally. Many times boys don’t talk with their parents and fool the girl that parents are okay now, don’t get misguided by such tricks. Don’t waste your time.
We hope he is different, but in our hands, the majority (90+%) Muslims want religion first and your love the second.
You are worth it, don’t settle for anything less than 50%-50%. You will be happy in any married life only if there is EQUALITY. Don’t be a submissive person, we hope not. Stay in touch!
Myra,
Thank you for reaching out to us. This is very sad that now he is taking an U-turn. We fear he is not a pluralist or an open minded. Basically, slowly he is saying you convert to Islam, are you ready for it?
Someone who is 29 and living in America, why is he trying to please his parents, who cannot maintain their own married life, and that also after falling in love with you? Later, he may want to please his Imam and his Islamic community. Why he did not thought of all these before? Is he going to now love-proselytise you to fake convert to Islam? Read our message here https://interfaithshaadi.org/love-jihad-use-and-misuse-of-the-term/
Tell him bluntly that you will never convert. Go meet his parents and clarify that point sooner than later. Further, tell him that children will be raised in both faiths, not in Islam only. If these points are not acceptable to him, put your relationship on hold.
Let us know what he says. Please stay in touch!