My (Hindu?) Daughter Married a Mormon

Some Hindus Americans are taking pride in associating with Whites and Christianity at the expense of Hinduism and India without realizing truth. Here is one perfect example as published in India Abroad.

Jagadish Patel of Las Vegas says: (INDIA ABROAD; OCTOBER 13, 2017)

This article LOVE IN THE TIME OF POLARIZATION is a clever twist of the tile of the Nobel Prize-winning Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel “Love in the Time of Cholera.”

Interfaith and interracial marriage are common among second-generation Indian-Americans because they don’t carry the baggage of prejudice and bigotry prevalent in India.

My daughter, who was born in New York and raised in Las Vegas, married a while Mormon man 17 years ago, the beginning of the second-generation Americans’ marriages in America. We were not only not surprised when she told us about her future husband, we were happy.

For us, her independence was important and we only looked at his background, family, education, and values. Race and religion carried only an insignificant part of our rationale for accepting the relationship.

My wife is a mainstream Hindu (I am an atheist) but she had no problem when the daughter married in the Mormon Temple of Salt Lake City where we couldn’t enter because we are not Mormons. The bride and the groom were glad to have a traditional Hindu wedding also.

Recently we attended the baptism of our grandson. The simple and meaningful, decipherable, ceremony was conducted by a bishop and other church personnel, all of them volunteers from the community. That was a huge contrast to Hindu rituals conducted by a pandit (a temple employee) in Sanskrit no one understands. So, we are learning from our daughter’s new life and it’s changing our world view. Now we are happy that the interracial and interfaith aspects of the marriage were not a hindrance for us, and more importantly, for our daughter and son-in-law. True love and rationalism will win over polarization due to race and religion any time. –Jagdish Patel.

From Frying Pan to Fire?
Where is Rationalism? (INDIA ABROAD; OCTOBER 20, 2017)

I read the letter titled “Love in the Time of Polarization” by Jagdish Patel sharing experiences of his daughter’s marriage in a Mormon Church. He has stated that “rationalism will win over polarization”, but in reality he has done exactly the opposite.

I studied interfaith marriages for past 12 years and now wrote the book—Interfaith Marriage: Love and Share with Equality. I do not see “equality” of two faiths in Patel’s marriage. Like an “untouchable,” Patel was kept out of his own daughter’s wedding because he is, as per Mormons, a born sinner. Mormons don’t even accept a Catholic baptized person and will want re-baptism the Mormon way; apparently the baptism is not for Jesus but for the church. Is this not polarization by saying “mine is better than yours?”

What was rationalism when the same Mormon Church posthumously baptized Mahatma Gandhiji on March 27, 1996? I feel Mr. Patel is endorsing irrationality of the church and promoting religious polarization.

Abrahamic-Dharmic marriages are new experiences for us all. Patel may have been burned by Pandits but now he will find a new pain when the Mormon Church will demand up to 12% of gross salary as a part of the church membership requirement. Is the fish jumping from the frying pan to fire? This is something we all need to contemplate.

A few questions to Mr. Jagdish Patel:

First we congratulate your daughter for finding a loving husband. We must also admire your Mormon son-in-law for being part of the Hindu wedding ceremony and having Hindu rituals on his son. For you (parents), it is natural to be happy about all these. However, we would like to shed some lights on some other points you made.

1) You said, “the daughter married in the Mormon Temple of Salt Lake City where we couldn’t enter”, did it not hurt your self pride when someone is not allowing you to witness your own daughter’s marriage? Have you heard such case before when you were in India? Did it come to your mind WHY are you considered a less human being?

2) You said, “her (daughter’s) independence was important”, is she feeling that Hinduism and India are full of “prejudice and bigotry” while Mormon faith is full of liberty and freedom?

3) Is your daughter a “baptized Mormon”? Don’t you have any regret of ending your thousands of years of Hindu heritage?

4) Is your grandson circumcised for religious reason? (read Circumcision: Supervision or Science?)

5) How would you feel if one day your grandchildren are taught by Mormons that the Grandmother, a Lord Krishna bhakt, is an idol-worshipper? How will you feel when one day your grandchildren will call you heathens?

6) You said, “a bishop and other church personnel, all of them volunteers from the community”, yes, it is commendable for the volunteer job by bishops. Our pandits should learn from it. However, know that being a Mormon will cost your probably 10X than being a Hindu. Those glamorous Mormon churches and cost of aggressive proselytism will be done with (now) your money. Nothing is free!

7) You said, “a pandit (a temple employee)” but know that pandits in America are paid much less (3X less?) than most Abrahamic religious faith leaders.

8) You said, “a pandit… in Sanskrit no one understands”, we understand that the language is an issue with many Pandits. Hindus must learn to adapt to the new land. Apparently you are an Engineer and with lots of money, why don’t you hire a decent English speaking pandit? If you are looking for a volunteer pandit, contact Hare Krishna group and they will be glad to help you out for free.

9) We understood that you are impressed by the Mormon faith and “background, family, education, and values” of American Whites; while found your own birth land India with full of prejudice and bigotry. Apparently you are a different PATEL than the iron-man Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel. Enjoy your newly found faith!

10) A hypothetical question: What would that Mormon did if your daughter declined to convert to Mormonism? Would he not found another way to get married to your beautiful daughter anyways? When there are other options available, why you opt to tolerate their intolerance for what you are?

Lets talk more here. Best wishes.

From Frying Pan to Fire? (INDIA ABROAD; OCTOBER 27, 2017)

Thank God for readers like Dilip Amin (India Abroad; 10/20/17). Reading Jagdish Patel’s letter the previous week about his daughter’s wedding put a knot in my stomach making me sick to the core. I kept thinking Gandhiji died in vain. We are still slaves, still second class people of this world. I am amazed that Mr. Patel did not realize that he and his family were being treated as a lower cast person. His wife was “happy” not to attend? I assume none of the bride’s family was allowed to attend? So we have a situation where only the groom was allowed to enjoy his wedding with his family but the bride was forced to have a wedding where her own mother and family were not allowed to enjoy this blessed event? And what happened when the venue was moved to a temple – when they had the Indian wedding? Were the groom’s parents not allowed into the temple?

I wonder if other Hindus as well as Mr. Amin could chime in? What would be the reaction if Hindus had kept non-Hindus out of our temples at these events? Would these people be “happy” that they were kept out like “untouchables?” How many
Hindus would support such a situation?

I am assuming that the bride was forced to convert? If in fact no Hindus were allowed into the Mormon Temple, it is reasonable to assume that the ceremony would not be conducted if the bride was not a Christian.

Can we be this easy? So easily we give up what is important to us, our faith, our self-respect just because a white man says so? Are we still a colony? Yes mentally some of us are, it seems. The only complaint in Mr .Patel’s letter was against Hinduism.
–Vanamali Thotapalli Chicago, IL

Changing Attitudes and Trends in Interfaith Marriages
India Abroad (Nov 03, 2017)

Your report on “Love in the Time of Polarization” (India Abroad, October 6, 2017) makes interesting observations about changing attitudes and trends in interfaith marriages. In the era of cultural diversity, the idea of interfaith marriages seems very appealing. However, it involves potential conflicts often unforeseen by young couples. They
forget that they can’t live in isolation from their families and friends. The statistics about interfaith marriages
are widely publicized but some key issues are ignored.

The Dharmics perceive God in different forms/ways whereas the Abrahamics claim “exclusive” path to God declaring others as sinners. A Hindu would accept his/her spouse to pursue Islamic beliefs (no idols), but the Muslim spouse won’t allow any idol worship. Hinduism did not have to compete with any other religions as none existed during its evolution. On the other hand, Christianity and Islam emerged relatively later so they propagated against established religions with greater intensity involving proselytization and forced conversions. As to the conversions approach, Muslim men would target Hindu girls who may be more gullible with their thinking “all religions are equal and good” not realizing that they are forgoing their beliefs, culture and family ties.

Hardly any Muslim women marry Hindu men, perhaps out of fear of reprisal. A true test of fairness in interfaith marriage with equality would be no religious conversion ever required, no name change and balanced upbringing of children. Both partners should unconditionally accept each other and raise their children to allow full freedom for their future. —Manu Patel West Chester, PA

Why do we Obey White Man’s Request?
India Abroad, Nov 10, 2017

It is unfortunate that Mr. Jagdish Patel (India Abroad, Nov. 3, 2017) continues to argue that his actions were correct. His long letter talks about freedom of conversion and never coming out and saying that his daughter was forced to convert — yes forced because I asked him directly. Would the marriage have taken place if she did not convert? If she had remained Hindu — we know that would not have happened, so why lie? Why continue with this charade of “freedom of conversion?”

And what about the reverse? Did his family force the groom to convert to Hinduism? Of course not — but we have to ask why? Why don’t Hindus force their religion on others? It has to do with our view of God. We view God as a parent, our teacher. No parent would divide his own children, no mother would hurt her own son, no father would rape his own daughter. If you as a parent started a club or a religion, would you torture your kids if they did not join your club
or religion? No parent would, but a master will and herein lies the difference between Hinduism and some other religions. A master demands obedience and loyalty and if a master started a club or a religion, his slaves/servants better join or else! A master will run a hell, a master will divide his servants, reward the loyal (heaven is for believers only) and punish the rest (unbelievers get hell). Notice the terminology: commandments, submit, beg, mercy, judge, wrath, punish, forgive, fear. None of these words appear in Hinduism nor Buddhism. No child would use such words directed at his parents. I would ask Mr. Patel to google “support groups for ex-Mormons” and do some research. Do the same for ex-Hindus. He would find none. Why is that? Talking about freedom, living in a
democracy and yet doing the opposite? Why do we do this? So quick to obey the white man’s requests – how can we call ourselves the free people that Gandhiji gave his life for? — Vanamali Thotapalli Chicago, IL

Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
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