PSinha says: November 14, 2016
Hi
Im from a conservative religious Hindu family. I myself follow vaishnavism, Krishna.
This year I meet girl from ukraine. She is Catholic, very religious. I tried to explain my girl that due to differences in faith and culture we cannot marry. But she was very attached and willing to live with me in India in our home. I invited her to my house last month, we had many issues especially with my parents. My parent not agree that i marry someone outside my religion. But my lady was very much insisted. She also tried her best to adjust herself with me.
So in the end we decide to marry and pray to God so that we can reconcile our differences and lie happily. We plan to have both weddings. We have clearly agreed on ‘No to Baptism’. Me or my children. Her church just wanted me to be informed my wife should stay as christian and I cannot put any obstacle to her going to church / my child learning christianity. This regul has any impact? I have been clearly told my marriage in church will be just some ring exchange, blessing and promises.
Later i will have full hindu traditional marriage, she agreed to follow everything.
I believe in interfaith marriages we need to respect others faith. What you think? -Singh
Admin says:
If any one is planning a (Catholic) Church wedding, expect to sign some type of legal document in favor of Christian faith. You need to decide what will you get by signing such one sided pre-nap?
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Thanks again Admin!
I will check with this agreement thoroughly again.
And will definately disagree during marriage if some loopholes.
Anyway its in Russian and it doesnt require my sign.
She said the document mention I need to be only informed I will not put any obstacle in her faith and she can teach her faith to her children. I will check again.
Honestly speaking neighther of us really want our respective religion pose some difficulties for each other.
We only want to be married in each our tradition to get God’s blessings.
Religion are supposed to elevate our consciousness and teach us to love God.
Its very unfortunate due to these conflicting religious reguls we are unable accept and love one another as a person.
To conclude I understand its going be a big challenge lets see where God take me! 🙂
Thanks again for your deep insight into the matter.
God bless! hare krishna 🙂
You are smart and intelligent but what is missing is–you do not have any interfaith marriage experience. In last 8 years, we have handled some 1200 cases like yours and wish you to have benefit of our knowledge.
Let us explain your statement, “I will not put any obstacle in her faith and she can teach her faith to her children.”
What would you do if your daughter tells you one day that “your Krishna murti is an idol and you are following a wrong faith.” Will you not put an “obstacle” against church’s teachings and explain your daughter this? Your children are your children and you should have rights to teach them what you feel is right; church should not tight your hands and shut your mouth.
Tell the church to add on the legal pre-nap that “I (your fiancée) will not put any obstacle in his (father’s) faith and he can teach his Hindu faith to his children.” Is it not fair both should not put obstacles for each other’s teachings?
Read this Jane’s life experience. What would you do if, one day, your daughter says, “I mourn that my (Hindu) father is not a believer”? Why will you not put “obstacles” to church’s teaching s from the start?
Dear Psinha,
Our simple and firm recommendation—divorce her church and marry her. If she wants to bring her church in your married life, then simply stop talking to her. Your three-way marriage (you-she-her church) is a death bell for your happy marriage; never do that. Let us explain why?
1) You love your girl friend and not the church. There is NOTHING you have to gain by signing this agreement (read). It could put you in deep legal trouble later in life.
2) You love Krishna and she loves Christ, beautiful! We do not see any problem. However, her church will teach that children must dissociate from Krishna and stay only with Christ. You do not want the church to continuously install poison in minds of your children against your Krishna, do you?
3) Tell her that we will have big Jesus Christ and Krishna’s photos in our living room, we will celebrate Christmas and Diwali same way, we will pray both of them side-by-side but at home, we will teach children from Geeta and Bible at home side-by-side and when children are 21 years old, they will decide their own faith (like Barack Obama did). Fair?
If you still want to sign this document, then we ask you to start visiting her church every Sunday and see if you like their teachings. After that you convert to Christianity and start living like a Christian. Dump all Krishna murtis in garbage (as a Christian). After a year of being a Christian, then think of this marriage. In case if you don’t like teachings in her church, why will you want your children to punish with such teachings?
If you were smart, we would say go marry out side the church and temple. Find a Hindu and Christian priests who are willing to perform your wedding on the same day and in a garden or marriage hall. Is this logical?