If you (a Hindu/Jain/Sikh/Buddhist) have any dating or marriage/divorce experience with a Christian, please share your experience here. If you have a positive experience, tell readers what is your secret. If you have a negative experience, what would you do differently if you have to re-do all over again? Please specify any persuasion for Baptism/Christening for you or your children. Does your spouse’s family have concerns for you for the Day of Judgment? While writing comments, keep in mind the objective……to help other young adults considering such relationships.
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Also read if in relations with a Christian: Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
I’ma Hindu Bengali guy and my girl friend is a Christian Slovak. None of us believe in popular religions. So we chill about getting married. Children get no religions.
Please read https://www.patheos.com/blogs/equalityforhappiness/
i have been in a relationship for 9 years
my boyfriend and i want to get married
he is a hindu by birth but converted to pentecostal christian (he goes to assembly of god church) and i am a hindu by birth but i am very open to all faiths….his mother follows pentecostal christianity and father follows hinduism
legally he is still a hindu in all documents though
we are to be married soon….my father has not approved for this marriage not because he is a christian but my father does not like the idea of love marriage even though he and my mother had a love marriage
the problem which has arised now is that while people on my side of the family are open to the idea of church wedding his side of the family is not willing for temple marriage according to my family’s wishes….
when i approached him for the temple marriage he outright said no and that he cannot get married in temple as idol worship occurs there….but he said he will come to temples just for me but not involve in any rituals there….and i am willing to go to the church with him because i love him and just want to spend time with him…and we are very clear that i will not convert to his religion which means becoming a believer in jesus and in jesus alone forsaking all other gods….
i cannot do that because i love all gods and believe in jesus and krishna and hanuman and allah…..
how to convince him and his mother for the temple marriage and if they dont get convinced and refuse can we just get a register marriage done??
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13479
See at the end of the day when kids come into picture you have to make a choice…. you can’t put your legs in 2 boats… I never understood it when my parents told me this and got married like you said to a Hindu but eventually his side of the family started pulling us towards Hinduism and that is completely not acceptable for me since I almost never stepped into the temple until it was for my husband… even today any Hindu Gods statue in my house scares me and I feel I have an idol in my house… My husband had to make many sacrifices to even make me feel comfortable and that includes not having such pictures… and specifically the rift amplifies after kids… So you will eventually tend towards one side or the other… there can be no middle ground.. so it’s up to you when you make your choice… with time or upfront..
Ya my parents also converted christian….now I want to take babtism for tis Christmas but my lover is hindu his family is pure hindu he told me to don’t give urself to babtism now I dnt know Wat to do im so confused…help me from this struggle from tomorrow I have to attend the babtism class in my church suppose I skip the classes and babtism means my pastor asks wats ur problems wat to do help me pls
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11774
Hi….I’m a converted Christian I loved a boy Bt he’s pure hindu now on this Christmas my parents and church pastor.ask me to give myself to babtism But my lover family is hindu I dont know Wat to do my lover says don’t give urself to babtism if.u give means then my family didn’t accept.u….I said leave me I want to go to my jesus who loves me lifelong and after my life Bt he says I want u Pls.Dnt lve me now Im so confused pls help me now Wat things I need to do ???
Please help me I’m so confused…I need to get the detailed information….I didn’t.tell my love.mater.to my mom I.want.to get babtism.Bt.my lover is big problem to me help me
Reply https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11774
iwants marrie in christan religion
We are not clear. Do you want to marry by the Christian style or do you want to marry a Christian girl?
i am hindu.i am searching a god but in hindu family,i can’t search.i believing in Jisus.
so can u help me
how be change my hindu religion to christian.
Explain us
“why do you want to convert christianity from hinduism?”
Do you not belive ram as god, krishna as god? why?
explain in detail
Mohammed is out promoting Muhammad, not Jesus!
We would say follow Jesus and not the church (read here)
well my girlfriend is hindu and im a cristian and i need help. i love and i dont want her to go to hell.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11677
Can you give more details? Did you talk to your parents? how about her parents? Is she willing to give up Hinduism? Why you think she will go to hell?
well, yeah i talked to her parents and mine. she said she would think about it. but in the bible it says in john 3:16: for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, for whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life. perish means go to hell. but we already have wedding plans.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11677
we are going to be married where i came from: the phillipines.
Rahul u didn’t need convert into Christ.if u believe in Jesus and Jesus is always with u.every god teach u different things.so stay believe.my father and my brother is always with u. Amen
Dears,
Looking for a Hindu Ezhava girl who lives in Jesus.
Please contact me for further details.
God Bless
Are you Christian? Why Ezhava Hindu girl specifically? Muslim or Sikh okay? By the way, this is not a matrimonial site so look somewhere else.
My husband and I were married in a Hindu ceremony.I reared in Christian faith. My husband was schooled in a Catholic school so he was exposed to Christianity. We share both faiths with the leaning towards Hindu.Water is water no matter in which langauge it is called.
Our home is mostly Hindu based. This is a choice for many reasons of both of us.A huge factor is the unbending, close minded Cristian faith wanting to “save” us according to them. The Bible the way they see it.
There is no flex.Christian behavior needs to be much more of a model.Disdaining and not respecting others view of the divine spirit.Using faith to control and bend others is not spiritual either.
When I reject something which a Christain says it is my husband who tells me I must at least listen. Who God has joined let no man put asunder and this includes a person’s own view of God.
Learn, read about other faiths with an open mind. Once you do, you will clearly see. All faiths are of God. ALL are.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=8588
Agree…someone has got brains!! Thanks!
me n my boyfriend both r hindu bt we want to get married in a church plz hlp
Go talk to a local church in your area. Most probably they will ask both of you to convert to Christianity by Baptism. Are you ready to give up Hinduism? Let us know what you learn from the church.
I have never heard of converting to Christian faith by baptism. You come into faith by a personal decision and commitment you make to God in your heart, after a verbal prayer that you accept a new Lord of your life. Water baptism is not for forgiveness of sins, as was alluded here in this article. Baptism is an act that is symbolic of the commitment that you have already undertaken in your heart, and the ensuing spiritual transformation (old life to new rebirth) that occurs. It is also not strictly required for Christian conversion/salvation.
Thanks for clarifying it. Educate us for when some one becomes a Christian or not. Use this example… Barack Obama’s father was Muslim and mother a Christian. He was in search of God during his school and college days and explored Christianity over years. He finally got baptized in Chicago. Tell us when he was not Christian and when did he become Christian?
Lets say you are in love with a Catholic or Mormon and wishes to marry him. Will their church accept your commitment you made in your heart as valid form to let you have marriage in their church? Is the Catholic or Mormon baptism necessary for you, even you are already a Jesus believer today?
I am 27 years old, and Hindu – Brahmin. Born and Raised in California.
My boyfriend is 28 years old, and South Indian – Christian. Born and Raised in Australia.
We have only been going out for a few months, and have already started to talk about becoming serious. We love each other and wish to get married.
The problem is, both sets of parents (his and mine) think that he needs to find a christian girl, and I need to find a hindu boy.
We have already said, that we wanted both a traditional hindu wedding, and a christian wedding. We also said, that if we were to get married and have childeren, they would know both cultures equally.
To conclude, I dont know what to do about our parents. Do we continue into a relationship not knowing how far it will go? Or do we break it off now to avoid being more attached to each other?
Has anyone had religious parents in this situation, and have found a compromise or solution?
All responses will be appreciated.
Thank you.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=7395
i am ahindu girl who loved a christian.my parents allowed me to marry him.but his family refused.my husband’s family family forced me for baptizm.my parents agreed for that because they beleivve in humanity than religion.i am so proud about my birth religion i refused to change but my husband forced me alot and my mother in law.i became a christian for marriage and officially hindu now
we got married.i beleive in jesus.but i dont think that christianity is the only way for salvation.my husband likes equality.he respect my hindu beleives.so am following hindu prayers mostly and christian prayers in between.we vsit churches and temple together.and leading happy life.i am sure any “GOD WONT KILL PEOPLE..BUT PEOPLE WITH GODS KILL THEM”.can any one tell iam doing right or wrong????
villian in our life is mother in law.who inject slow poison of RELIGION in to our life.but am 25 year old i dont want to change just for an in law.but same time i will make sure that my hus is happy.
i dont care if my children become christian.let them opt when they become major.i respect all religions in world..no one has seen god directly so who are we to change others??????????
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=6894
I like this kind of arrangement and am also looking for … Basically I am christian,but after divorce no one is agreeable to get marry, thats why Iam here. Any interfather lady from Hindu, Sikh, Parsi, Muslim or others interested, please contact me via: chiswick_hrd@yahoo.com
Hope to listen from you soon..
Zafar Iqbal
+92-300-5125195
Zafar,
First this is not a matrimonial site. Which country you are from? Zafar, are you a Christian guy? Who did you married that resulted in divorce, was she also Christian? Why you are not looking for some Abrahamic like Muslim or Jew? Let us know.
Hi i am a Christian guy with a Hindu girlfriend. We have known each other for over five years. Over the past 2 years we have progressed further in our relationship to the point where marriage we are thinking of getting married. Her parents are very strict in there faith and we (my girlfriend and i) have come to a problem. she would like me to go to the temple in a support role weekly after the marriage ceremony but as a minimalist christian i find it hard to commit to that. I do not go to church every sunday so i find it very hard that i will go to the temple every week. I am of two thoughts, am i bieng selfish in refusing or am i bieng practical. i do not have a problem with anything else at all. thanks for your time.
Reply to Donald at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=2778
I (nominally Christian) have been with my (Hindu) husband for four years and I would never change anything about him (except the nail biting, and constantly leaving our front door open). His Hindu faith is a big part of what makes him who he is, and I love who he is.
I like my husband’s family mostly (there’s always one relative; it’s a distant relative though). I’m friends with my sisters-in-law. I do have a slight aversion to some Indian foods at the moment but I’m pregnant, so hopefully it will pass (sad since I have an affinity for masala flavored snacks like kukurre). I have no issues spending time in India (three months is my longest duration so far). I can speak and read some Hindi.
I feel lucky that I married my best friend. We share a lot of the same hobbies and interests (some of which would bore other people to tears), and we have similar senses of humor.
I’m fine with raising our children Hindu, India and Hinduism have a rich history which they should know and be proud of.
I think this comes from the fact that my parents are not religious people at all. We are nominally Christian, I was never baptized. I have been to church very few times in my life. I celebrate Christmas and Easter for fun with friends/family not religious reasons.
I will show up to functions, wear clothing, eat food, read literature/history (I know the difference between different vedas), give gifts/cards/etc. I feel uncomfortable sometimes when his family asks me to participate in deeply Hindu rituals. It isn’t out of disrespect or because I feel their beliefs are any less valid. It’s that I don’t understand the custom or I simply don’t feel right pretending to pray to something I don’t believe in.
I will not convert on principle. Many of my mother’s ancestors were forcibly converted to Christianity, so I don’t believe anyone should convert to anything unless they absolutely want to and they’re doing it for themselves (certainly not for someone that won’t accept you for who you are).
My husband is similarly not very religious. He says my lack of religion is his favourite quality.
Excellent message. We are glad you are enjoying your Hindu-Christian marriage with equality. One of the blessing is your “lack of religion.”
I am a Christian mother (Catholic) of a son who is planning to marry a Hindu girl. I struggle with, and I have struggled with the exclusivity of Christianity for quite some time. I consider myself liberal and tolerant, and I am still searching for an explanation of “only one way to the father”. Having said that, I still feel somewhat uncomfortable praying to other Gods. My son wants a Hindu ceremony in which his parents are part of. I am hoping for a ceremony that blends both cultures and is truely reflective of who we are. Who we all are. I would be fine with anything my son decides, but I was educated that I am very much a part of the ceremony… I just want to be authentic. My faith has always been important to me, and a guiding light in my life.
This comment has been moved to https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=1359
Comment to her there, thanks.
Dear,
I work as a researcher for Swedish Educational Broadcasting Company, UR, which is one of the Public service companies of Sweden. We are making a TV-series with four programs about ethics and moral from a religious perspective, and the target group is pupils in High school here in Sweden. Our reporter/producer Erik Sandström is travelling the world to meet people with different religions and he is coming to Kolkata, India in about a week.
I wonder if you would like to participate or help me finding a young couple who are from different religions and has a hard time because of this? We would like to interview them and tell their story, and we will be discreet and understand that this is a delicate matter.
Please get back to me.
All my best regards
Emelie Jönsson
I’m a Goan Catholic and my girlfriend is a Gujarati (Hindu) from the States. We met each other two years ago and we’ve since fallen in love with each other. We want to be with each other for the rest of our lives but her parents are strictly against it. We as a couple are willing to have two different weddings (one Hindu and the other Catholic). But apart from the marriage issue, the issue of what religions the children will follow comes into play. We figured that each of us will teach our children of both Hinduism and Catholicism. But my girlfriend thinks that she will lose her values of bring a Hindu because she’ll be losing her last name for one and secondly, she’ll be living with me and my parents, which means that our household is gonna be Catholic dominated and the fact she’s getting married to a Non-Hindu will cause her parents to not interfere in her life when she definitely wants them to. I’m pretty liberal in my thinking. I love her a lot and the fact of not being with her would totally crush me up. How do I find the appropriate answers to her questions? How do I convince her that the she will not lose her values? Your views please?
Please comment to Savio at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=523
Hello Savio, While I don’t have the answers for you, I am in a similar situation.
I am Roman Catholic and my son is planning to marry a Hindu woman. While I don’t expect her to convert, I am having some concerns about my participation in the ceremony, and I am hoping for a ceremony that reflects both cultures.
You say you really love this girl. One thing you can meditate on is “God is Love”. and hopefully some answers will unfold for you. I am going to take my own advice! Best Wishes for a life of love and happiness to you and your fiance.
Savio, u won’t win if she’s hindi speaking,north indian. they r strict n want their way. I’m suffering 7 yrs long. my husband wnt allow me to follow christianity
Desiree,
Can you explain little more, what do you mean by “I’m suffering 7 yrs long. my husband wnt allow me to follow christianity” ??
What is he asking you to do or not do? Do you have kids? Is he not allowing you to carry a cross in your home? He is not allowing you to go to a church once a while? Is he imposing you to pray to Hindu Gods? Is he asking you to go to a Hindu temple more than to a church? Please explain.
What do you mean by “follow christianity?? Christianity is an exclusivist and supremacist (that salvation is possible only by baptizing and following Jesus Christ) religion. Further, as a true Christian, you are suppose to believe that Hindu are sinners and idol worshippers (read Bible on Hindus?). Please clarify what minimum you wish your Hindu husband should do or allow you to do. Thanks
Hi All,
I am a hindu and my Girl friend is a Christian. I am requesting my GF to follow both religions but she is not accepting but We really love each other.
I request a positive replies instead of neagtive .
Thanks
Sree
Hello Sreekanth,
Interfaith marriages are not easy, so you will have to do some homework to make your marriage work. If you trust each other and your love is true (both sides), you will find solutions to all issues.
Hindus are pluralist (believing that you do not have to be a Hindu for salvation or moksa), while Christianity is an exclusivist (salvation is only possible by Baptizing and following Jesus) religion. So Sree, you are not alone facing this problem. In almost all cases, the Hindu side is okay following both religions, but the Abrahamic (Christian, Jew or Muslim) will want the Hindu fiancée to follow only their own religion (especially for children; see videos at BBS).
Easiest will be that you fulfill her wishes and you convert to Christianity. Start believing that Jesus is a true God, not Ganesh or Rama. Sacrifice your religion for a girl; this is called Love Proselytism. Alternative is to ask her to do the same and let her feel the pain of conversion. If you are educated and have some self-esteem, you will realize that this “exclusivity” or the conversion business (BBS) has no place in an interfaith marriage with equality.
Most Western Christians are open minded and considerate, but your girl may be under tremendous pressure from her religious leaders to convert Hindus. If everyone starts believing that Christ and Krishna are one and the same, her church priests will lose their jobs!! So if you submit to your girl’s request to not to follow both religions and start believing that only her religion is a true religion, means you are submitting to those intolerant religious leaders. It’s time for a change. It is time to say no to the BBS.
First read lots of material on this web site and educate yourself. Then start teaching your GF that Isvar Allah tero nam (pluralist thinking). It will take lots of efforts. If she is intelligent, slowly and slowly, she will realize her mistakes and come to terms. If she is intolerant like Molly or McKenna, ….well, you decide.
I hope there is nothing negative here. Please come back with more specific questions. Best wishes.
hey am a Kerala catholic planning to marry a gauda saraswath brahmin… we have been seeing each other for 2 years now…………
and yes, we are finding it quite difficult to get our parents ok this….
and sure, there are noises about conversion, kid’s religion etc… and possibly they might even take me to a psychologist (even though am one and he is a psychiatrist)…..
even before meeting him I used to go to temples, had stayed 10 days in Aurobindo Ashram and yes a a practicing catholic….. and yes me and my brother love eating prasaadam too…. Jesus was the same guy who said rules are for human beings and human beings are not for rules… a god who flouted the obsolete convictions of his days will not mind if i follow him according to my conscience…….
and we had decided that both of us will keep our religions, will be flexible enough to adjust to our relatives, his granny might want 2 sets of cooking pots and pans(veg and non veg) and my dad might want to eat beef …. as for children, we have decided on what anu has written, mother believes this and dad believes this and it fine for people to have different faith and you can choose your religion when you want to..
and names i would love to give then indian names, my ma has named us not with biblical names but secular Indian names…….. so……
regardless of relegion
Dear Doctor Maitry,
No, we rather send the others to Psychiatrist, than those who believe in Interfaith Relationship with Equality!!
You are educated and believer in humanity, not religious dogmas. You are a role model for today’s new society. People like you will make the nation and the World a better place to live for all. However, do not underestimate the power of religious institutions and conflicting religious beliefs.
You have stated, your children “can choose your religion when you want to.” Does it mean they will not have the Baptism till they could make their own decision at age 21? How do you justify Baptism of a child of Hindu-Christian couple believing in equality?
We are all learning. We are trying to define EQUALITY in an interfaith married life. Can you share your views to what the admin said to Anu and to Pradeep? How does it apply in your case?
Hi,
I am a Marthoma Christian based out of India. I am in love with a Hindu Girl whom I have known for 15 years. I intend to marry her however when I discussed the situation at home; the first reaction was a capital NO.
On my persistent persuasion they want the girl to convert. Though I am not liking the thought of conversion I had conveyed the same to my girl and she had done the same to her mother. Her mother is not accepting the fact at all and now looking for a groom for her.
My parents have agreed to she following her religion however want her to convert for a church marriage. I would like to know the following:
1. What does Marthoma Church say about inter-religion marriage? Does it teach exclusivity? In case of inter-religion marriage does it prescribe conversion?
2. What does it say about the kids? Do I need to baptize them necessarily?
Appreciate your inputs on the same. Thanks!!!
Regards,
Pradeep
I am a Christian (Lutheran) getting married to a Hindu fiancé in December. We will celebrate a Hindu shaadi in India and receive blessings from a Christian priest in my home country, and we are happy to accommodate both traditions without expecting the conversion of the other. We both fell in love with the other as the whole person, created by their cultural and religious upbringin as well.
However, I wish to comment on what you said about Christians and baptism. I find it an intolerant statement that we both (myself included) could not celebrate the rituals involved in naming a child. I want to baptise our children, not for religious reasons but for the reason that not accepting the rituals of my heritage implies not accepting my identity and equal parenthood. For the same reason I heartfully wish to celebrate namakarana samskara so as to not leave out the other parent’s background and raise children who are comfortable with an unique blend of backgrounds and a duality of religion. The same goes for the yearly celebrations of Diwali, Saraswati puja as well as the first haircut of a child, etc.
But to me, it seems you have defined religious tolerance as refusing or belittleing the other partner’s tradition when it involves Christian rites. Would you not agree that it would be entirely unjust to demand the other parent to let go of their Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or Buddhist rites – that, effectively, also produce religious identity? Do you not see the discrepancy? What is your reason for thinking that it is the unilateral right of the other spouse to deny the performance of rite XYZ on their children, because whether you see it or not, this is what you are suggesting?
More importantly, in an interfaith marriage, I find the best advice to be “always ‘in addition to’, never ‘instead of’.” Rejection is the one surefire way to generate cleavages, inequality and resentment in a relationship. I wholly agree with Nancy who says we can all be just as defensive, and this comes out when both partner’s backgorunds are not allowed to be expressed to the fullest. For this reason I do not feel that your advice is equally based or even productive.
I hope we can have an enlightening discussion on the topic. It should be noted that we may have very different conceptions of the definition or ‘baptism’ as a rite. I do not consider it a rite that is exclusive and binding children to a single religion only. On the other hand, I do not consider Hindu rites neutral. We should appreciate both to their fullest.
I should also note that we have been living together for three years, have had numerous discussions about our beliefs anding on ‘agree to disagree’ and have a puja altar in the house. I take full part in festivals and he visits church with me, on the rare occasion that I do so.
As a parent I consider it my duty to ensure the children feel at home in both of their parents’ traditions. To not teach them about Hinduism as well as Christianity would be to hurt their future groth to balanced adults. However, I am not going to teach them that “there are multiple forms of THE GOD, be that Allah, Jesus or Krishna” – to require a person to teach this would be equivalent to requiring them teach the Hindu concept of Vishnu, Shiva and Brahma, and I am not or ever will be Hindu, neither will my husband be Christian. Instead, we both are going to teach them what Mom believes and what Dad believes, and that people with different beliefs can get along, both within a family and in a society.
I feel like it is necessary to state all this, because it seems to me that you have profound mistrust towards ‘Abrahamic’ spouses and have grouped them under a label of suspicion – as if there is always a fundamentalist in them waiting to come out that requires monitoring: “You gave “one good (!!!) Christian” example, covering experiences up to the marriage time for a friend’s daughter. Did you followed up this marriage after kids, if they have kids by now?”. This is not to deny that many spouses become increasingly conservative after having children, regardless of their faith.
I also deeply respect your quest for religious tolerance. Still, I ask you to look at how, just maybe, your way of defining a tolerant spouse has affinities to Hinduism and is therefore not the ideal place to begin a dialogue in an interfaith marriage.
SEE REPLY BY ADMIN AND PROVIDE YOUR COMMENTS AT https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=407
Dear Anu, Im Hindu and my boyfriend is Christian. We’ve been together close to a year now and we’ve been implying on kids and how our lives will be in the future. Im madly in love with him and honestly cannot imagine a life without him and i am also the type of girl who believes in true love and dream of the perfect marriage. Recently he has cheated on me with a Christian girl, and when i asked him why he did it, he said that he doubted our relationship because of our religious differences. But in due time we managed to work that out and now recently again he is saying that he doesnt believe in marriage so much anymore again because of our religious differences.
I on the other hand, fully agree with you and you’re belief in a mutual understanding sort of interfaith relationship. I find that very beautiful. But for some reason that doesnt seem to get through to my boyfriend. He has asked me before if i would convert for him, an out of love and a little bit of alcohol, at that time i said yes. But later on when i asked him the same question, just out of curiousity (of course i wouldnt make him convert) he said something that implied that he couldnt because it would be betraying his religion.
I truly love this guy, and i know he loves me too. And marriage is still a little far off for us, but going through all that has really hurt me, and sometimes i think that staying in this relationship and hoping for the best for the future is just false hope and that i might be setting myself up for eternal heartbreak.
Please tell me what to do, or how to get through to him that a mutual understanding interfaith marriage is highly possible and a better choice?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=7516
In addition to the previous message, I should also note that we have been living together for three years, have had numerous discussions about our beliefs anding on ‘agree to disagree’ and have a puja altar in the house. I take full part in festivals and he visits church with me, on the rare occasion that I do so.
As a parent I consider it my duty to ensure the children feel at home in both of their parents’ traditions. To not teach them about Hinduism as well as Christianity would be to hurt their future groth to balanced adults. However, I am not going to teach them that “there are multiple forms of THE GOD, be that Allah, Jesus or Krishna” – to require a person to teach this would be equivalent to requiring them teach the Hindu concept of Vishnu, Shiva and Brahma, and I am not or ever will be Hindu, neither will my husband be Christian. Instead, we both are going to teach them what Mom believes and what Dad believes, and that people with different beliefs can get along, both within a family and in a society.
I feel like it is necessary to state all this, because it seems to me that you have profound mistrust towards ‘Abrahamic’ spouses and have grouped them under a label of suspicion – as if there is always a fundamentalist in them waiting to come out that requires monitoring: “You gave “one good (!!!) Christian” example, covering experiences up to the marriage time for a friend’s daughter. Did you followed up this marriage after kids, if they have kids by now?”. This is not to deny that many spouses become increasingly conservative after having children, regardless of their faith.
I also deeply respect your quest for religious tolerance. Still, I ask you to look at how, just maybe, your way of defining a tolerant spouse has affinities to Hinduism and is therefore not the ideal place to begin a dialogue in an interfaith marriage.
SEE REPLY BY ADMIN AND TO PROVIDE YOUR COMMENTS AT https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=407
This is really a very cruical topic ..I am a Hindu and my ex boyfriend Christian. We were madly in love & wanted to get married but he said he can marry only if I am able to accept his Christian faith and before marriage I will have to be baptised. I loved him truly and so I studied about it a lot .. prayed a lot .. tried my level best and then said that I will marry and accept his faith but with consent of my parents as running and getting married is against my principles of life. So I spoke at my home and my parents also did not agree for simple reason that if he loves you truly then why he is asking you to change what you are as a person ..He always asked me to talk to parents or go agaisnt and get married. I was confused so much wat to do ..as I loved him so much … however things didn’t work out… My love was as stake for Faith !!!!! and finally it didn’t happen and now he is engaged to a Christian girl
:((((((((((
What is all this …I am so messed up now .. what is above Love , I still cant figure out ..why was it necessary to convert or accept any other faith and become Christian!!! Does god accepts this that you fall in love and later don’t agree to marry if the girl doesnt change !!
This is just not justified.
Nancy, Hinduism does not seek converts. Forceful bloody conversion and violence is very common through out the history of Christianity and Islam. In this sense Hinduism and all Eastern religions are very liberal and open minded and does not bother others. Live and let others live is embedded in Eastern religions. Hinduism is not dogmatic.
As far as marriage is concerned, what about your children? This question be must resolved first. If this cannot be resolved, forget about the marriage.
Then second issue is what is Christianity? If it is all about teachings from your church, then you have a major problem. If it is faith and love for God then you have no problem.
Hinduism is unorganized but dynamic. There are thousands of sects co-exist through out history so you should find out what your boyfreind means when he says he is a Hindu?
Hello Nancy,
Agree, it is unfair.
To ask some one to change religion as a pre-condition for marriage is wrong.
To ask that children from this marriage will be given a “religious label” is also wrong.
Further, to change your religion just to please your loved one is also equally wrong because you will realize your mistake later and you will put your married life in trouble. Read an interesting article and view videos for an on-going court case here:
https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=99:whose-god-wins&Itemid=78&layout=default
It is wrong to assume that Dharmics are “open and accepting of other religions.” Even after about 1000 years of Muslim and Christian rule and proselytism in India, there are still more than 1 billion Dharmics left to convert!! In general, Dharmics may “tolerate other’s faith” more than some Abrahamics, but don’t confuse “tolerance” with “are taught to….accepting of other religions.”
It is good that you are a true tolerant…..“willing to accept his religion and respect.” Did you critically thought what you meant? Eating Samosa, wearing a Sari or leaning Bhangra dance moves is not all about being a part of Dharmic family. If you do marry to a Dharmic, would you expect your children to be baptized (religious label?)? Why? Are you willing to teach your children that there are multiple forms of THE GOD, be that Allah, Jesus or Krishna? From the bottom of your heart, would you feel joyous taking your children to a Hindu temple on every Saturday for murti puja (idols worship?) and equal time on Sunday to a monotheist Church? How will you manage such fundamental conflicting beliefs, and justify it to your family and church members?
Happy and long lasting interfaith marriage is possible if BOTH parties have a true “tolerance for other’s faith.” If not, simply walk away and save years of aggravations later.
What about when it is the Dharmic partner in the relationship who asks for conversion? Is that not unfair as well? I, as a Christian, am willing to accept his religion and respect but I do not want to be asked to leave mine. It’s becoming more difficult for me to believe that all Dharmics are taught to be open and accepting of other religions. We can all be equally defensive of our faiths.
Nancy,
Yes, certainly it is unfair to ask someone to convert unwillingly. Stick with your plan for “am willing to accept his (Dharmic) religion and respect but I do not want to be asked to leave mine (Christianity).” If there is any other ways, just say NO!
Ranjan (above),
Excellent comments. You are right, while dating people will do anything, but true test comes only after kids are born.
You gave “one good Christian” example, covering experiences up to the marriage time for a friend’s daughter. Did you followed up this marriage after kids, if they have kids by now? On this web site, there are two tests suggested to identify some one as a tolerant spouse:
#1: The Abrahamic (Christian in this case) will not ask for a religious conversion of the Hindu spouse for marriage, and
#2: The Abrahamic spouse will not ask the children to convert; more specifically ask to have Baptism/Christening of children to put a “RELIGIOUS LABEL” that the future heritage will be Christian only.
In your example, #1 is 🙂 , how about #2 ?? 🙂 OR 🙁 ??
Let me share my life experiences. At the beginning of interfaith dating, the other party does every thing right to prove their sincerity. For example to be nice to your family, do not eat meat, be respectful to parents, come to all family functions, mingle and praise the Indian food.
But then things take turns, once they are married. They hardly come to family functions and mingling totally disappears. Things get even more complicated after kids. May be for the first baby they may give an Indian name, but second and third has to be according to their culture based names. So when you are courting or dating or living together things may look rosy but they are sure to change after marriage.
As much as Hindu religion adopts other culture, not all Christians are taught to be very respectful to Hindu way of doing things. A good Christian example, I visited a friend’s daughter’s wedding and their priest asked the bride I hope you are not converting!!
President Obama even talked about Diwali as a festival of light; means get rid of ignorance and get a light of knowledge. Britishers are appreciating our Vedas now and reciting them at the Palace. Why we take richness of our culture granted and submits to others?