I am Digambar Jain Married to a Non-practising Muslim

Reema says: January 9, 2016 at 6:50 am

Dear Insiya,

I happy that u (Insiya: Muslim girl with a Digambar Jain) r so much in luv that no barriers matter.

I am digambar jain married to a non practising Muslim I have not convereted or changed my name post marriage. As the admin rightly said inter religion marriage there is alway sogud n some bad n lots of people telling you how u ll fail be strong take in only the positive and ignore the negative.

To make thinks clear to u me n my husband got married in court under special marriage act. I wont say it was easy being from a family who are strict vegetarian they almost had a heart attack when they found out I wanted to marry a Muslim, luckily for me my husband was a very responsible n educated guy who loved me and understanding my views on vegetarianism quit non veg, (he) didnt believe in God but never challenged my belief.

Took me 2 years of constant fights n telling me to leave for them to finally accept him and agree for our marriage. Note I was stubborn wanted to marry him under special marriage act but only with consent. His family took time n finally 3 years after marriage they accepted me and held a reception only thing I was told was to lie that I converted n had a nikaha a day b4 reception. That was the least I could so for them,

I love both my family I believe in 1 God u chose the name u call him with, I dont agree to a lot in Hinduism, Islam, jainism, Buddhism or Christianity, but no God or religion ever told hurt any one physically or emotionally, in india we are blessed with freedom to religion so if you truly are in luv speak to him explain how and Wat u feel n what u think but do try and understand his point also.

Jain families are rather close knit with all uncles and aunts having a say about u. So have patience and courage may the God u believe in give to guidance and strength to overcomw thos situation but alway remember what ever happens is for the good. -Reem

Admin says:

Dear Reema,

Thanks for sharing your love life story and happy that you have a very happy married life.

When you have a child (or if already have), what will you teach them about God? Are you going to show them both scriptures and take them weekly to derasara and mosque? What will you tell other Muslim relatives when they see you taking your children to derasara, even you have (lied) converted to Islam?

While reading your story, we got very proud of reading different points but got very upset to read “I was told was to lie that I converted n had a nikaha a day b4 reception”. We understand your point of making parent happy by simply lying. But would you also go and lie, if you are in some situation, that you are a Pakistani (Pakistan Jindabad) and make Pakistan look good at the expense of India for your personal gain? It is okay to lie to relatives, Islam and to Allah for your personal gain (or your weakness to tell truth)?

As the world knows, you have converted. Does it mean this statement is not true “in india we are blessed with freedom to religion”?

We wish you had strength to tell truth and nothing but truth. Yes, they would have delay the reception for 6 months and finally agree for it. We wish you gave a right message to the world that this conversion business should end, and it starts with you. Now those Muslim got impression that Jains are weak and they will convert for the benefit of Islam. One day when their son/daughter is in love with a Jain, they will also expect the Jain to convert because you did. When this conversion business will end? We are glad Kareen Kapoor has strength that you do not.

Sorry, we are not bashing you for what you did. We understand Kareen is a celebrity and you are an ordinary couple trying to make living in an intolerant society. But we hope you will teach your children not to lie and give a right message to this world. Best wishes. -Admin

Reema says: January 9, 2016 at 4:51 pm

Dear Admin,

We have a daughter named tiara, my husband amd me do take her to temple dargah church n gurudwara whenever we can.

I didnt lie to relatives on my husband’s insistence rather contrary he was the one who fought tooth and nail with ever one and convinced them that it made no sense me converting cos he doesn’t believe in god himself, so parents buckled in and made the arrangements for the reception, very well aware that neither had I converted nor did we do a nikah, his parents told us to lie to his relatives at his native if asked.

I follow my faith with my husband by my side we celebrate all Hindu festivals, the only restriction is of not fasting during 10 days of Das Lakshana, nor does he fast for Ramadan. I know the dynamics are difficult to digest and its taken us gud 8 years of being married lots of patience and trust to get where we are today.

When you fall in love and do and inter religion marriage the love takes a back seat with a new crisis every other (day), its about how matured both are and constant effort to show that your love for each other still exists. I have had every single relative and cousin warn me that my marriage would break in a year frankly speaking I thought if everyone felt then maybe it would not work got into depression right after marriage when his family was not accepting us, I was constantly scared with all the stories I had heard of Muslim husband asking their spouses to convert for the family to accept them, when I saw my husband fight for my belief I knew everyone was wrong and we could make it work.

But yes the only complication we have is both the families luv us and we love them but can never them at the same platform at the same time. Whether its jain and Muslim or any inter religion marriage time and patience is the key, it took me 2 years to convince my family for marriage and another 3 years for my in laws to accept us.

Dont u think comparison with Kareena is a bit too far she is a celebrity and we know only what the media told us, yes lying is not right and I agree with you on that I was not trying to set any example for any one, we lied for our grand parents sake so as to not hurt them further, God bless theor souls have no regrets what so ever. Even bhagwat geeta states that a lie which is told for a good cause and not to harm someone is forgiven they say.

I am no preacher nor I am trying to set an example, jus sharing my experience so that people know that both the faith can respect and live in martial harmony, there is nothing wrong in any way you handle your situation as long as u are happy with the outcome, and not all inter religion marriages result in broken family or not all Muslims men are wife beating, cheaters who marry girls from another community to convert them.

Jus to add another point for the benefit of anyone considering inter religion marriage its always better if you can be clear about what u want from the start, also meet civil or family lawyer and draw up a pre-nuptial before marriage or post nuptial agreement after marriage detailing everything no conversion, freedom to follow your faith, what faith the kid should follow, incase of a divorce a share in movable and immovable property earned or inherited b4 or after marriage, whether you would like to give your share of earnings and inheritance or not. You can add any request or clause stating that it can be changed if both agree if not it cannot be challenged, make sure both of you agree to everything on the agreement and sign and get it notarized. Hope u never have to use this but atleast your spouse will think twice b4 goin back on any of his or her promises.

I think I have told what I had to say.

Hope it gives some hope to some people… -reema

Admin says:

Dear Reema, our hats are off for both of you. We salute you and your Muslim husband for setting a new tone for the future generation. We love when people follow humanity and not man-made religions. It makes us happy when people use their own brain rather than opening 2000-5000 years old books for what next to do. Those books are teaching very valuable guidance and applicable today too but one cannot/should not follow it literally/blindly. Best wishes- Admin


View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Jain-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.

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16 Comments

  • Momeen
    January 14, 2016 12:28 am

    Both of have you have upheld the authentic meaning of faith, in spite of hailing from two extremely conservative communities. Kudos.

    Religious maniacs are present in all faiths, only the proportion differs. These maniacs reduce their faiths to a cult and God to a warlord. God is not in the name, robotic prayers, and rituals. God does not look into how much time you spend reciting His name!

    God looks at your heart and deeds; how much you’ve utilized your potential and for what purposes.

    Only maniacs think that God is a narrow-minded dictator!

    We shall go to temple, church, dargah, gurudwara …,adhere to the righteous path and let us see if God rewards the inclusive or the bigoted!

  • Momeen
    January 11, 2016 12:42 am

    Refreshing breeze!

  • Reema
    January 9, 2016 5:15 pm

    Jus to add another point for the benefit of anyone considering inter religion marriage its always better if you can be clear about what u want from the start, also meet civil or family lawyer and draw up a pre-nuptial before marriage or post nuptial agreement after marriage detailing everything no conversion, freedom to follow your faith, what faith the kid should follow, incase of a divorce a share in movable and immovable property earned or inherited b4 or after marriage, whether you would like to give your share of earnings and inheritance or not. You can add any request or clause stating that it can be changed if both agree if not it cannot be challenged, make sure both of you agree to everything on the agreement and sign and get it notarized. Hope u never have to use this but atleast your spouse will think twice b4 goin back on any of his or her promises…reema

    • January 9, 2016 6:58 pm

      Great suggestion about preNup.

    • ahmad noor
      January 10, 2016 2:42 am

      If both (so called muslims dont belive in god already )all these procedures are nominal and false from both sides hasbands and wives
      is this the right base to establish a family ??
      is that is what you call ineterfaithmarraige

      • Reem
        January 10, 2016 6:36 am

        Mr. Noor, first of all there are no so called both Muslims cos I have not convereted and still very much a jain as per all my legal documents, jus by getting married to someone of a certain faith u dont automatically become one of their faith, and I do very much believe in god jus dont call him with the same name as you. The religion or faith is thought to us after birth, if a Hindu child is adopted by Muslim parents and brought up as Muslim or Muslim kid as Hindu what faith does the kid belong to. We all see God the way we were told to see, none of us have seen God in real to say which form the God is, so u are right in worshipping Allah and Christian worshipping jesus and Hindus there God in whatever form. We are humans and superior to other species, lets not devide each other based on religion. The Indian govt has passed the special marriage act to safe guard every one freedom to follow the faith theu choose. We are not answerable to anyone except God himself so let’s stop judging others. Reema

        • January 10, 2016 8:08 am

          Agree, we always say a person is not born with religion, it is installed by parents or surrounding situations. If Ahmed was born in Greece to a devote Catholic parents, he would be playing a different tune today.

        • ahmad noor
          January 10, 2016 10:46 pm

          I am not talking about you ..i am talking about your husband
          and an other similar case husband ( both are muslims in name only )
          what you said is understood

      • January 10, 2016 8:15 am

        Ahmed,
        What would be punishment today in the Middle East if some Muslim makes these statements in public “he doesn’t believe in god himself,” and “(he) didnt believe in God”? We are curious.

        • Reema
          January 10, 2016 4:06 pm

          Dear admin,
          Your question is baseless for a number of reasons
          “What would be punishment today in the Middle East if some Muslim makes these statements in public he doesn’t believe in god himself,”
          1 If I am correct middle East also has UAE which is cosmopolitan and liberal, you stand to get punished if you use libel or slander for the royal family of the religion of the state not for not believing or following a certain faith, Dubai has Krishna temple Jain derasar Sai temple shiv temple gurudwara and a mosque all in 1 site built by the royal family.
          2 We are Indians living in a cosmopolitan and democratic country not in Saudi under a kings rule.
          3 When in India all the religions are treated equally, and government might be corrupt, but they want to treat humans as humans not an animal tied down by fear of being whiped, stoned or beheaded in public, we respect every religion and proudly live in harmony why compare it to a strict Muslim country when we are not.
          4 If you a need little background on India or Indians look it up before posting something, if u want to play the religion card post partition and independence Muslims got Pakistan and Hindu Jain Sikh Christian got India so should the government of India pass a rule or punishment for people who do not believe or respect Hindu religion or try to convert them to Islam.
          5 Also when the Muslims from Egypt and Syria needed aid and shelter the rich middle East don’t come for there aid it was rather the European countries who are mainly Christian or Jewish who provided them food n shelter
          6 I have grown learning to respect all faith or treat them equally

          I might sound a bit too harsh but I had to put my point across we are educated lot if we start using the religion card every time a Hindu girl/ guy falls in Luv with muslims, or try to scare people with examples from a farway land do we have any rights to question or stop the actions of vhp RSS or a love jihad outfits.

          A person from Islam might feel that we ll burn in hell fire but as long as we hv not wronged another person or done bad karma I know I will get my salvation, and I don’t think my husband is really keen on a 72 virgin paradise who will be your sex slave after death.

          I know this reply might sound too political but u compared India to middle East which hurt my sentiments, I am bit of a patriot u see. Also I feel more than giving people a clear insight about interfaith shaadi this sight is all about convert to Islam or burn in hell fire

          • January 10, 2016 6:54 pm

            Agree to your views. As a matter of fact, what Islam is described by Muhammed and mac on this site is not what we have seen in our many many Muslim friends. We have been to Dubai, Turkey and Morocco and did not found/saw that we hear from media about executions in Saudi Arabia or acts of ISIS. We have visited synagogues, churches and temples there and people have liberty of faith. However, our understanding is apostasy is considered seriously in Islam. Again, what is apostasy is to be defined in a specific situation and we are not expert on it.

            We are glad you have a great Hindu-Muslim marriage experience. There are a few others also with similar good experiences on this site, like Seema, Salman and Shamim. However, readers should note that, out of some 700 Hindu-Muslim cases on this web site, we have seen less than 5% Hindu-Muslim marriage with equality while in most cases expectation of conversion is there. Youths in love should clarify conversion point up front.

        • ahmad noor
          January 10, 2016 10:53 pm

          No body would kill him …believe me admin why
          cz 1- our governments are secular
          2- our islamic parties are fully aware of the results of killing him
          if the dog is backed by monestors (west) ..let it barking
          i told before isis dosenot represnting islam ..95% of muslims in my area are against ..believe or not

  • Reema
    January 9, 2016 4:51 pm

    Dear Admin,

    We have a daughter named tiara, my husband amd me do take her to temple dargah church n gurudwara whenever we can, I didnt lie to relatives on my husband’s insistence rather contrary he was the one who fought tooth and nail with ever one and convinced them that it made no sense me converting cos he doesn’t believe in god himself, so parents buckled in and made the arrangements for the reception, very well aware that neither had I converted nor did we do a nikah, his parents told us to lie to his relatives at his native if asked. I follow my faith with my husband by my side we celebrate all Hindu festivals, the only restriction is of not fasting during 10 days of Das Lakshana, nor does he fast for Ramadan. I know the dynamics are difficult to digest and its taken us gud 8 years of being married lots of patience and trust to get where we are today. When you fall in love and do and inter religion marriage the love takes a back seat with a new crisis every other, its about how matured both are and constant effort to show that your love for each other still exists. I have had every single relative and cousin warn me that my marriage would break in a year frankly speaking I thought if everyone felt then maybe it would not work got into depression right after marriage when his family was not accepting us, I was constantly scared with all the stories I had heard of Muslim husband asking their spouses to convert for the family to accept them, when I saw my husband fight for my belief I knew everyone was wrong and we could make it work. But yes the only complication we have is both the families luv us and we love them but can never them at the same platform at the same time. Whether its jain and Muslim or any inter religion marriage time and patience is the key, it took me 2 years to convince my family for marriage and another 3 years for my in laws to accept us.

    Dont u think comparison with Kareena is a bit too far she is a celebrity and we know only what the media told us, yes lying is not right and I agree with you on that I was not trying to set any example for any one, we lied for our grand parents sake so as to not hurt them further, God bless theor souls have no regrets what so ever. Even bhagwat geeta states that a lie which is told for a good cause and not to harm someone is forgiven they say.

    I am no preacher nor I am trying to set an example, jus sharing my experience so that people know that both the faith can respect and live in martial harmony, there is nothing wrong in any way you handle your situation as long as u are happy with the outcome, and not all inter religion marriages result in broken family or not all Muslims men are wife beating, cheaters who marry girls from another community to convert them.

    I think I have told what I had to say.

    Hope it gives some hope to some people…reema

    • January 9, 2016 7:09 pm

      Dear Reema

      Our hats are off for both of you. We salute you and your Muslim husband for setting a new tone for the future generation. We love when people follow humanity and not man-made religions. It makes us happy when people use their own brain rather than opening 2000-5000 years old books for what next to do. Those books are teaching very valuable guidance and applicable today too but one cannot/should not follow it literally/blindly.

      Yours is some of very rare Interfaith Marriage with Equality on this web site. We hope you and your husband will come on this web site to guide others.

      Agree we should not compare you to Kareena but it is our job on this web site to challenge youths for things we do not agree. Now we are 100% convinced for what you did and that was right.

      Now wait for Muhammed (?), mac (India) and Ahmed (Middle East), our Islamic experts, to challenge you. Ask your husband to join you too to express his views. You will also love to hear from Momeen and Jainab. Keep in touch!

      • mohammed
        January 9, 2016 11:30 pm

        I didnt tell any thing.. if i tell some thing truth u guys will ignore simply… why to waste my time..

        • January 10, 2016 8:00 am

          These couple is going to go to Hell Fire and you are not going to educate them? Your job is to tell truth and not expect fruits of it. May be someday, this couple may get enlightened and revert back to Islam. If you don’t, this Reema-phenomena may go viral and other Muslims may also start following this couple’s footsteps, will that be good for Islam? Don’t stay silent! Mohammed, please don’t give up!

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