Jamie says: January 3, 2018 at 2:55 pm
Hi Amita,
I come from a very strong Christian Malayalee family and my boyfriend of almost 2 years, from a strong Hindu, Gujarati family. We are both incredibly serious about each other, and both our families are accepting of our relationship, as long as we are able to make compromises and understand each other- neither myself nor my boyfriend believe in divorce as a viable option so we have a lot of work to do.
I have always considered my faith to be very strong, however after college I had some issues with the exclusivity of my faith, even before meeting my current boyfriend. I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand how my religion teaches that Jesus is the only way. What about my close friends who are amazing, giving, GOOD people who were raised Hindu? If I had been raised in a Hindu family myself, I would also be a very devout Hindu, I’m sure. I don’t believe that Gandhi went to hell. I am also under a similar impression that most faith stories have the same principles and morals, and I cannot see any problem with the belief that there is one God (as all monotheistic religions including Hinduism preach) that we as human beings have multiple names for.
There is still a lot to discuss in our relationship, including the fact that I eat everything, and my boyfriend is strongly vegetarian who would want me to eventually give up eating meat. He comes to church with me (I rarely miss a week) on occasion, and though he doesn’t go to the temple himself often, I would go with him anytime. He went to Christian grade school growing up which helps in his Biblical knowledge, and similarly I am teaching myself about what he believes, including researching the Gita. We both have strong respect for each others’ religions and each want to learn how best to incorporate both into the lives of our children, if we should work out.
Something that is a big hindrance to me is the concept of rebirth. I grew up with the concept of hell vs. heaven, while Hinduism, as my boyfriend interprets to me, teaches of having many lives each existing as basically multiple attempts at achieving perfection. Amita, how do you tackle the afterlife? –Jamie
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Go ahead and do as you please.But, don’t call yourself a christian.Call yourself an atheist Malay or just plain Malay. As long as christianity has existed christians have felt attracted towards non christians.Those who had true faith resisted temptation others didn’t. Faith is a choice. Choose wisely. The lord has commanded “you shall not kill”. You can’t delibrately kill in cold blood and pretend you are innocent. This is what the bible says about marrying non christians. Clearly it is not allowed.
2 Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
Well if the New testament is not convincing enough. Here is what the Old testament has to say.
Deuteronomy 7:3 “Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.”
Deuteronomy 7:4 “For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.”
Hi Jamie,
We love your post and your thought process. Lets discuss at length.
To your main question, “how do you tackle the afterlife?”, this a matter of faith and not truth. If you were born in a Hindu family, you will be trained to think of reincarnation and Christian church will teach the Judgment Day. You already said, and quote a different way, that you do not believe Jesus will not save only baptized Christians. So, what is a concern after you are dead?
Assuming the Judgment Day is true, are you going to not marry the Hindu? Alternatively, are you going to be a love-Jihadi and convert the Hindu to your church?
Please read Follow Jesus and not the church, let us know your thoughts. Lets talk more.
Thanks for the response! I can’t, nor would I attempt, to convert him. I’ve already come to accept that there are things we simply won’t completely agree on and I will personally have to open my own mind more because my religion is the exclusive one.
We are trying to build a base of our religions’ shared qualities, focusing on adapting each other’s beliefs rather than having one person “give up” their entire upbringing. Based on this idea of adapting, I don’t know how these two very stark differences (reincarnation vs a judgement day) have any similarity. This is in terms of what to teach our children.
For some background: I used to think that the best way to teach our kids would be “this is what mom was taught” and “this is what dad was taught,” but my boyfriend and I have talked about that and realized that would definitely not come off as a united front, which is what we want. Now we are more into the thinking of showing we can have the overall beliefs the same. That’s where the adapting comes in.
Dear Jamie,
You are on track for a very successful married life. We do not see any problem as far as you are not “exclusivist and supremacist”. There will be minor hiccups and that you will have to deal with when it comes. We do not see any issue with ” ‘this is what mom was taught’ and ‘this is what dad was taught'” and let the child decide as an adult. We highly recommend you to read book that we wrote on exact this subject matter.
How are you planning to marry? In your church? Are you going to settle in Gujarat or Malaysia?