Sachin says: July 27, 2015 at 5:37 am
Hello. My name is sachin and I’m in love with a Hindu girl and we wish to get married. I am a Christian, supposedly, but I’m not at all a believer in anything. Does not mean that I am against my girlfriend being a believer. I have no problem with anyone’s beliefs. My parents are also not believers
The issue is, I want to get married to her without getting her converted, but for family pressure sake, have to have a church wedding. So wanted to know if there is any way in which I can make the church wedding happen but I’m not willing to make my girlfriend convert at any cost. I am an orthodox and I am willing to convert to any other sect in Christianity as it does not make any difference to me, as long as I get to marry the girl of my dreams
Please help me out with the options that I have in front of me. Like I said, without getting her to convert.
Thank you -Sachin
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I am Converted Christian and My Boy Friend is Hindu
Admin,
The reason why I said that my parents would not have a problem is because my mom is actually asking me to date my gf, whom she thinks is just a friend. So she is well aware of her religion and everything and still wants me to date her. And my father has told me that I can get married to whomever I please as long as she is a good human being. So I am pretty confident that there will be no objections from my parents for sure.
About promising to raise our children as Christians, it is just so that the wedding can happen in the church without having to convert my gf. Not that I will follow it or stick by it. I know it is wrong morally, but if they make it so difficult for 2 people who love each other to get married, im forced to stoop down to that level to get what i need done. Looking at it that way, I clearly do not see anything wrong in what I am doing. I am sure that I will not be put into jail because I promised to raise my children as christians but i didnt follow it.
But like I said, I personally would like to have it at a wedding hall but you know how our indian culture and families are. Its easier said than done to just ignore them and do as we please. Given a choice, I would choose wedding hall anyday. I never go to church and I do not like the idea of having to stand in a church for something as wonderful as a wedding.
My top priority will always be for the love I have for my gf and not for any man-made religion. That is for sure.
This is true, “I will not be put into jail because I promised to raise my children as christians but i didnt follow it.”, but as soon as you have a child, the same relatives will pressure you to baptize him/her. So you will have to take a stand one or the other day.
Are you okay having a Hindu wedding? Again, your relatives will tell you that a Christian cannot be in a Hindu wedding, what will you do?
Can you go ask your church for what is their expectations? Why to assume? We are curious and so go there this Sunday. Please let us know in a week.
Are girls parents okay giving their daughter to a Christian? Involve parents and find out their expectations ASAP (if you are smart).
Yes I am completely OK with having a hindu wedding. My relatives should not have a problem as one of my cousin has got married to a hindu girl about 2 years back. So having a hindu wedding is not at all going to be a problem.
About asking my church, I never go to church and have no connections with anyone at church. So that will be difficult to find out. I can take my parents help but that is only after I have told them about my gf, which I am planning to in a few months.
Girl’s mom has a slight hint about our relationship but is not happy about it. They do not know properly still But there could be some resistant, which I am confident that I can convince them. There is no other option rather. :-). Hoping for the best.
Regards
Sachin
Go to a your denomination church in near by city. Go to the head priest and ask direct questions you have. Generally they welcome inquiries and will tell you full procedure. Also go to your type church’s web site (any where in your country) and they will have listed all requirements for an interfaith marriage.
Another very important point, DO NOT underestimate two sets of parents. Any one set of parents could rock your love boat. Hindu have general impression that all Christians are out converting Hindus at any cost (if not today, they will do it tomorrow). So you will have to address their concerns accordingly.
Hi Sachin
Thank you for your query. We really appreciate your concern of not converting your gf. We wish all other boys are like you.
Why you said, “I’m not willing to make my girlfriend convert at any cost.”? If your parents are non-believer, then why do they want a church wedding? Normally, any church will not allow wedding inside the church without conversion or at least a pre-nap that children will be baptized Christian. To avoid all these issues, best would be to have a Christian wedding out side the church by a Christian priest.
What does this mean, “Does not mean that I am against my girlfriend being a believer.”? Is she practicing Hindu? What will you do if her parents want a Hindu vivaha (wedding) because your orthodox family will protect against it. Are you okay if she (one day) take your children to Hindu mandir?
Hello. Thank you for the quick response. Im sorry that I was not clear in my previous post.
My parents are non-believers but we come from a very huge family ( in number of people) and most of them are believers and also, I am the only child to my parents and they would like to host a church wedding of their only child. That is the only reason I would like to have it in the church.
Like you had mentioned, if we agree to baptize the children, I do not think that if I dont do so after the children are born, that I would be put into jail right? Its just a formality that the church does to try and make the population of christians increase. So, that would not be an issue, to agree to that so that the wedding can happen, WITHOUT getting my girlfriend converted.
I was unaware that the wedding can take place outside the church by a Christian priest. I think I can keep that as a last resort. So it can be conducted in like a wedding hall right? Thank you for this information
About the sentence “Does not mean that I am against my girlfriend being a believer.” – Yes my girlfriend is a practicing Hindu. She is a believer. Our plan is to have 2 weddings. One in the Hindu way, so that her family is happy and the other in the Christian way, so that my family is happy. This is the only sensible way to solve such an issue.
When I said that we are Orthodox, I meant that we are Orthodox Christians. Not orthodox in nature. Sorry for the confusion.
I am totally fine if my wife would take our children to mandir, mosque, gurudwara or church. It does not affect me. Once the kids are old enough, they can choose what they want to believe in. I personally feel that my job as a parent is to raise them to be good human beings and it does not matter what religion they believe in or if they are non-believers like me.
I hope I was able to be more clear in this post. Thanks a million for the help. Please do provide your inputs to this as well.
Regards
Sachin
Sachin,
We love Godly people like you and Jainab, who >believe in humanity and not man-made religions. Can you educate others on this web site who are fighting to prove that “My God is better than your god!”?
Yes, you could find one or the other priest (for a right price) to perform your Christian wedding in a wedding hall. Do not bother with the church. Actually plan a Hindu and a Christian wedding next to other to save cost.
Learn the art of negotiation. Start with a worst scenario. Tell your family that you are going to have only a Hindu wedding (even you do not mean that). Let them boil all over for one month. Slowly start bargaining and loosen your stand by introducing Christian wedding in wedding hall. Tell them that if they don’t buy it, I am going to convert to Buddhism! Learn manipulation! Enjoy the process. Keep us posted.
Admin,
Im glad that you respect my believes. It is only when people realise that there are much more important things to do as a human, that they will stop to choose religion over love. Wanting to spend the rest of your life with the woman you love should never be decided by what religion they come from. That is just completely wrong.
About convincing my parents, I doubt it would need so much of a drama to be put up. Im sure they will understand why i dont want her to convert but I would still like to have it at the church, only to keep the others in the family from talking bad. I personally would love it if it was not in the church, as I am not a believer. But like I said, the other believers in the family might have some sort of a grudge against me. Unfortunately, we still live in such an era, which is pretty sad. So it is not in my hands.So, I will try my best to keep it in the church without getting her converted but if nothing works out, I guess I would have to keep it outside in a wedding hall.
If anyone in this forum has had such an experience of having a Christian wedding outside the church, by a priest, please do let me know. It would be of great help to me. Thank you in advance.
Admin, will it be possible to have the wedding in the church by just promising to raise our children as Christians, without converting my gf? ( Afterall, promises are meant to be broken right). I would prefer to let our children decide what religion they want to follow, rather than following the religion your born into, which is obviously not your choice.
If so, I will most definitely take this option and I am sure my gf would also agree to sign such an option because she knows very well that I am not going to force anyone in this world on the topic of religion. So that will never be an issue with our family. Please do let me know if this is an option. Thank you.
Regards
Sachin
Sachin,
Look, on this web site, every one is trying to prove that their God is better than others gods, what a shame! We are glad you are different.
First, it would be a big mistake you assuming “I doubt it would need so much of a drama to be put up”, don’t underestimate your parents. Please talk to them and let us know what they say.
It would be sad if you make your innocent Hindu girl friend to convert or sign legal pre-Nuptial document just to “keep the others in the family from talking bad”. There is no end to their talking bad, one day you have to stand up and say enough is enough. Might that be that day today. We hope you do not end up being a Love-Jihadi!
This (Afterall, promises are meant to be broken right) is wrong morally, legally and spiritually. Please make up you mind if you wish your gf to convert or sign that pre-nap or going to allow her to be what she is, that is a Hindu.
Best would be to go meet Priest from your (or next town) church and ask requirement for marriage. They will tell you up front and honestly. Do it now before it is too late. We assume they will want her to convert to Christianity for sure, let us know how it goes.
We know your have a good heart, but don’t underestimate your church and their desire to make India a Christian nation ASAP.
As we suggested earlier, simply get married in a marriage hall with a Hindu and a Christian priest performing their respective wedding without pre-nap or without conversion of any one. Give a top priority to your love and not this man-made religions.