Sabana from Mumbai says:June 17, 2013 6:54 AM
Now girls within our (Muslim) religion is not illiterate and can better understand what is wrong and what right to be done. We can read and better understand Islam and Quran. We have to follow only those faiths which give us equality like men.
You (Nasim) tell me is it right to keep four wife by single muslim men only for physical satisfaction. Whether you can allow us to keep four husband for our physical satisfaction at once. Who tell that Allah has given right to keep four wife to men and not four husband for we girls. The man who has made such arrangement in Islam is the biggest enemy of Allah and human civilization.
Men has the right to marry any girls then we have also right to marry any boy in any faith and no one can stop to doing the same. It is the 100% fact that muslim girls who have married in other faith has got respect, love, care and big support. They understand our feeling and never faith in Talaq-3 system like Islam. They are even more happy than us. It is need to change our teaching and negative thinkings. -Sabana
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Nasim from Mumbai says:
Sabana being my neighbor you have hearten me lot. If you have any problem kindly meet me and discuss openly. Last week you told me nothing but how you written above is very surprising for me. Call/meet me and tell about your problem. Certainly I will solve your problem. Wishing best of you. Only Your’s….NASIM.
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Sabana says: June 20, 2013 at 1:58 am
Nasim it was not my intention to hearten you or any other. But how can I tell my pain which my family and mom has suffered due to POLYGAMY in our faith. My ex-father has left my mom on road. I have seen doing cruelty by my ex-father on my mom. Who will understand our pain. It is so easy to blame us but there was no any option before my mom to remarry. My present father take care of my mom, me and my younger sister otherwise we were on road. It doesn,t matter for me whether my mom remarried a hindu guy. We are happy now and not required any suggestion from you. Kindly keep yourself away from my family.
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Polygamy is against the rule of Allah. Allah do justice with each and every person. He never allow someone to keep four wife and someone no wife because the girl:boy ratio is 1:1. If anybody get more than one i.e other loosing and have to live without wife and it is injustice in the eye of Allah. It can be said that polygamy is against the rule of Allah. One who faith in Allah never support polygamy. Those Muslim who support polygamy in Islam are are KAFIR of Islam and Allah.
Do you mean Prophet Mohammed is an Infidel since he had several wives? You made my day!!
You can wake up a sleeping person but you can never wake up a person who is pretending sleep. You know the truth why Muslims practice polygamy. Instead of attacking the root cause, you beat around the bush saying these people don’t follow Quran. Be answerable to yourself first!!
Hello readers,
Pinning down a reason for why some Muslims practice polygamy today is more difficult. Let’s be frank, it is highly doubtful that the majority of men engaging in polygamous marriages in the 21st century married widows and decided to do so in order to protect these women’s children from injustice and exploitation. And while the numbers vary from region to region, we see women throughout the world being educated and employed at much higher rates than in the distant past; they are increasingly becoming self-reliant and less dependent on a husband for financial security or for the welfare of their children.
These changing social conditions make it difficult to identify and explain why polygamy is justified in modern Muslim society. While my personal understanding of how and when polygamy should be practiced leads me to conclude that the conditions of modern Muslim societies do not meet Quranic standards, the Quran reminds us that “there is no compulsion in religion.” If Muslim laypeople and scholars agree that polygamy remains permissible, although certainly not the ideal setup, today as it was centuries ago, they are free to pursue it.
Having established the original reason behind the permissibility of polygamy, we turn to how Muslims practice this unusual marital arrangement in modern day society, as opposed to the why. In order for a polygamous marriage to be successful, I firmly believe that each party must enter into the union knowing precisely what is expected of him or her and what he or she will give in return.
Whether a woman becomes one of multiple wives because, as Qayyum points out, her biological clock is ticking, her career consumes her time or because she believes the arrangement will eliminate a man’s likelihood to cheat, she must play a role in the decision-making process through which this marriage comes about. Technically a Muslim husband may take on a second wife without the consent of the first (although the ethics of this executive decision-making can be debated), but it is also perfectly within the rights of a Muslim wife to stipulate in her marriage contract that her husband must seek her counsel and consent before taking another wife and if he fails to, it constitutes valid and legal grounds for separation and/or divorce.
This is the sort of pro-active, pragmatic approach a woman must take if she plans to enter into a polygamous marriage, but most Muslim women do not insist on putting these sorts of key protective mechanisms in place before signing their name to the paper.
Muslim women tend to be unaware of their rights in a polygamous marriage, while men are usually ignorant of their responsibilities. According to verses two and three in the fourth chapter of the Qur’an, polygamy in Islam is permitted in the context of social welfare, so this arrangement is less about demanding rights from one’s wives and more about treating them with special care and consideration.
Yet, many Muslim men use this so-called “right” to multiple wives as a means to excuse themselves from the monogamy that Islam actually implores of them in favor of polygamy. This sort of self-serving attitude leaves many women in these unconventional unions in a state of neglect, emotional distress, and without the comfort that Islamic marriage is supposed to provide.
My hope in contributing to this discussion is that more Muslim women, whether considering polygamous marriage or already in such a relationship, take a close, hard look at their God-given rights within these unions and assert these privileges to ensure that they are as happy and as gratified as possible in their marriages.
Hi sisters,
It is high time that really muslim girls have to keep their mind open against all sorts of evil practices against females in islam, like mutta marriage, sex with dead wife, no permission for higher education or no permission to drive vehicles, (in some countries), proving virginity on the wedding night,and due to this HRS becoming compulsory among young girls, wearing burqa, treating women as sex objects etc.
Against such evils Satyen has suggested various measures that need to be taken by girls themselves.
Thanks for admn. for making this exclusive blog.
Our scholars should come forward and in open debate to really overcome the major problem like polygamy. They should have to make recommendation in islamic system that before giving permission by first wife hae husband cant’t marry second one. It has been seen in India that nearly 78% of muslim prostitutes are divorcee woman who come in prostitution to save her life from starvation.It is very surprising that our islamic scholars never take any interest to solve such evil practices in islam. Allah has never made two rule for male and female. I am hopeful that voice of we woman either will be heard or we will fight for own right.
You are right Nargis. Allah never allow to keep four wife. Islam is the religion with single almighty i.e only “Single Allah” and not four Allah for any Muslim. If Allah is single then how wife can be four. It is the only rapist minded peoples who support keeping of four wife in my religion. Allah has made one female for one male and it is order of Allah to follow his rule. Person supporting multi female for single male or having multi wife are biggest enemy of Allah and Islam. There were many rapist people in Islam who had supported keeping four wife. Other religion like Hindu never support four wife system and they faith only in single wife system which is most stable and pure relation in the eye of Allah.
Dear Jareen Khan,
You are right that Allah is only one and cannot make two rules for male and females. Allah loves everybody equally whether he/she is a male or a female. How can Allah allow the males to have four wives and women only one? Why cannot females have four husbands? It’s all stupid to befool the innocent girls that Allah has allowed the males to have four wives and has not allowed the females to have four husbands. In fact all these was started by Muhammad. That’s why I always say the Muslim sisters to follow Allah but don’t consider Muhammad a prophet. How can a polygamist will recommend monogamy? None of the male followers of Muhammad ever criticize Muhammad for marrying 12 times. Why?
One should just marry once a life time with a boy/girl of his/her choice and lead a peaceful life.
Hi Sabana,
In islam if females are allowed to keep 4 husbands and other rights equal to male, their domination shall end, which, imams, maulvies and mullas will never accept.
These males expect their wives to be virgin, but males are not required to be virgin. They have right to indulge in sex openly as prescribed in the Koran, which is not the guidance of actually any God. It is an anti god philosphy that Muhammad a great rapist propagated for his evil gains.
Nargis,
You have hit the nail on the head. Muslim women should understand that apart from the Terrorists, Maulavis and Imams, the root cause of their present day situation is Muhammad and his book Quran. The Maulavis and the Terrorists are just following the footsteps of Muhammad as it serves their purpose.
Many Muslim women understand that Quran in fact venerates the Allah but it limits his powers and capability(for example Allah needs the help of a Prophet to spread His message, He works according to the recommendations of Muhammad, He is partial against women and tose who don’t follow Muhammad etc.). In fact, Muhammad has made Allah his captive. Why a non-Muslim cannot worship Allah? Who is Muhammad to stop us from asking any favour from Allah? After all everybody is His creation and Allah is impartial to see everybody with one eye.
So, Muslim women should consider themselves Imams and Maulavis and they don’t need any certificate from the male Maulavis and Imams. This will usher a new era of freedom for the Muslim women.
So, let’s worship to the Allah only, not Muhammad.
Hello Sabanaji,
Nice to see your bold comments.
Please comments on Mutta / Halala, stoning to death, proving virginity on the wedding night by bride only, i.e. why increasing trend among muslim girls for hymen repair surgery, 72 virgins for males in the heaven? Can a God be really so cruel to discriminate against females?
Hi Sabana,
Islam is a full of evils against women folk. Male has been give so many privileges to avail, like keeping 4 wives, mutta marriages, tripple talak,burqa for women, no driving permission and higher education in some countries, sex with dead wife, sodomy, halala, female genital mutiliation, women treated just like sex dolls, women need eye witnesses to seek justice against rape, stoning to death etc.
Islam is a teaching of rapist Mohammad 59 years old, who did not spare 9 year old girl to rape in the name of marriage.
Against all these evils muslim women have to fight and should not hesitate to non muslim if they are competent and like minded.
I have also married a Hindu boy, very happy and no problem at all.
Nasim, Sabana has raised very valid questions for all of us. Do you think these are irrational questions? We don’t think that way. Can you help answer all these questions that she (and most Muslim girls) has raised? We are waiting to hear from you right here.