SriLekha says: September 29, 2019
I am Brahmin wants to marry a Muslim guy..I am being a South Indian there are many traditional barriers that brings the obstacle. My BF bring a Muslim wants me to convert as per his father’s wish becos he wants to fulfil at least this wish of his dad.i am pretty sure that my bf respects and loves for me who I am wit my character I cannot take my 6long years relationship to a end of this it as we understand each other a lot. Its not about converting to another it’s about following that strikes me a lot even though I dnt want to lose him..any views or opinions from others on this –SL
NIRVAAN says: October 10, 2019
SriLekha, why don’t you ask your boyfriend to convert to Hinduism instead? Would you kindly ask him where was his religion when he fell in love with a Hindu girl? And even if the conversion is only nominal, would not it be a unjust compromise with your identity and a huge blow to your self-worth? Would it never bother you to think that you had to change your name, your, religion and your culture in order to marry a man who you thought loved you so much? Wouldn’t it hurt your parents? What kind of children will you raise in future? A mother that has no self-respect, who doesn’t know how to stand up for her identity will have no significant role in nurturing her children. Would you be able to live with all this?
Ask him to convert to your religion and if he doesn’t agree to your proposal then go for a civil wedding. But even if then he doesn’t agree with you then do yourself a favor and leave this toxic relationship. Your religion matters. Your culture matters. Your identity matters. Don’t sell it for too low a price. Thank you. –NIRVAAN
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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[Interfaithshaadi could not connect this person by email. It creates doubts on authenticity of the story]Heading- My hindu mom wants to marry a Muslim politician.
I am 21 yr old boy from Murshidabad, West Bengal. Our locality is predominantly Muslim. I am only child of my parents. My father is almost 65 yrs old and is a retired service man. My mom who is around 39 is a housewife. My mother got married at a very young age. We do have some ancestral property and our economic conditions are quite good.
My father is a spiritual kind of person, and a book- worm. He is very indifferent towards our family. My mom maintains each and every aspect of the house . She is a very devoted women and she was a vegetarian.
Few years back a new Muslim family, a male member and his three kids, shifted in our locality and within a short span of time he has been able to secure a large acceptance from our local society , exploiting which he became a councillor. The head of the family is Liakat molla , and his 3 kids , and he is around 42 yrs old. Most probably he left his wife for some personal reason.
My father is a respectable person here and everyone knows us . Recently the Muslim politician has started taking a very keen interest in our family, especially in my mother. My mother is also having a cordial relationship with him as a friend. He has become quite 🤑 wealthy and he often comes to our house fir a chit chat.
Even Sometimes he brings gifts for me and my mother. I have got a costly watch, chocolates from him. My mother also gets lots of costly gifts, especially different designer dresses, sarees etc. Sometimes he also gives pocket money to me.
Though my father doesn’t like him to much still beacuse he is a strong politician and does give us costly gifts my mom doesn’t care for my father’s advice. Recently there is a change in my mom’s behaviour . My father and i are non vegetarians but my mother was a pure vegetarian yet recently she also started having meat . She also started wearing quite revealing clothes like transparent, semi transparent sarees, deep neck cut blouse, sleeve less, backless blouses etc .. i have never seen her before like that. One day incidentally she dropped a package gifted by the politician and then I got to know that most of the revealing dresses that she wears are being gifted by him, including stylish inner wears. I have seen them having casual talk numerous times when he comes to our house or even sometimes when my mother is invited especially in his party meetings . My mom has also started taking interest in politics because of him.
I would like give some examples of their casual talks.
One day he and my mom were having casual talks about family. He asked in bengali-
–boudi apni ekta sontan nilen kno?? ( Why you have taken only one child)
— my mom said emni ( just casually)
— apnar sorir ta valo vabe bebohar hoyni( your body has not been used properly)
— mom replied means??? What
He said nothing just leave it and both bursted into laughter.
Secondly, me along with my some friends had gone to mall without telling our parents…. Just after getting in to the mall i saw my mother walking with her lover joining hands together like a newly married cpl , both of them were laughing and didn’t notice our friend circle. I somehow got out of the mall alongwith my friends.
I have also checked her phones, her messages, her chats and i found they are replete with filthy messages between them . My mom has been addressed like ” Jaan”, ” Janu”, ” Babu” , ” baby” etc.
One day i seriously asked my mother what she is doing withthat politician
She replied ” well, he’s a great guy, atleast better than your father both on bed and off bed”
I said ” what?”
— nothing and she bursted into laughter.
Even I saw her messages from that politician, ” come with me , na” , ” leave him” , ” we are going to have fun”.
My father does have little bit knowledge about it but perhaps not in great details like me.
I am damn sure , that my mom is going to leave my father and probably is going to have a nikah secretly with her lover.
I am in a dilemma , i really don’t know what to do.
Kindly suggest any possible way out of this problem.
Can you talk to your father? Is there any maternal relative who can help her/you?
I don’t have any maternal relative…my mom is the only daughter of her parents, after their death no one is there from maternal side. And father is extremely disinterested in these talks and as I said he is a book worm. I would like to have suggestions from each and everyone in this case. To be very frank , though she is my biological mother still she never loved me intensely, though occasionally she is friendly . Kindly post it on a topic , i want suggestions from each and everyone.
Dear Niloy, same thing happened to me, my mother is now married with a muslim man after divorcing my father. Please try to stpo your mother.
[Interfaithshaadi could not connect this person by email. It creates doubts on authenticity of the story]Things are slipping out of my hands…I don’t know what to do… Just few days ago i saw my mom having loud sex with that politician. My father was not in home and my mom was so intoxicated by that guy that she didn’t even realise that I am present within the room . I felt so disgusted that I left the room immediately…don’t know what to do…??😭😭😭..any suggestions are welcome.
Have a talk with your mother, tell her that you are not liking her affair and tell her to end the relation. Then if she listen to you, it will great but otherwise you have to adjust accordingly.
I am quite sure , she is not going to listen to my words. I have tried to talk with her but failed. She is intensifying her relationship with that muslim politician day by day, what could be more worse than a boy looking at her mother having sex with someone else than father… I really donno what to do… She is waiting on her wings to get married with that muslim politician. Probably my mother is going to give birth to more kids in future.
I really don’t know how to adjust with her?? How’s that possible??
You tell your father everything, only he can change the situation
This is for Niloy as I am unable to reply his post directly.
I can understand you are in difficult situation and my sympathies are with you. Having said that I completely disagree with your approach.
It is difficult to see your mother cheating on your father, but u urself have admitted that he has never fulfilled his responsibility as a father or husband.Now your mother is finding a love outside and you can’t completely blame her for that.
You also said that your relationship with your mother hasn’t been good so far and you feel she doesn’t love you.This is the time to mend that relationship.Use this crisis to your advantage. You have already talked to your father and he still simply doesn’t care so atleast don’t lose your mother too by needlessly opposing her and being a thorn in her path to find a love.Talk to your mother and support her in her quest to find a love.Tell her that no matter what decision she makes(which includes divorcing your father and marry her love), as a son u would always support her.Show that u mean it by lets say making a tea and snacks for her boyfriend whenever he comes home.You can also tell both of them that you support their relationship.
Remember, if he is influential politician and ends up marrying your mother,it will also help you in your career.Your father has done nothing for you and your mother maybe this man will.
As a son,your goal should be your mother’s happiness.So be nice,be supportive,be humble,show your mother that u truly respect her boyfriend and I am sure your mother would start loving you in no time and 1 year from now you would say that this was the best thing happened to your mother and you.Think about your mother’s happiness and your career.Don’t indulge in this hindu-muslim bitterness
As I also faced similar situation and my mother is now re married after divorcing my father, your opinion is not bad but there are also many negetives in this, like social acceptance.
Thanks for your kind suggestion, to b very frank i never tried to think like that..that’s a very unique point that you have presented… It is not that the politician is not very friendly towards me, he is very friendly..even he gives me gifts and chocolates…………..But the problem is what if it’s a deception just to have sex and satisfy himself and after all my mom just have vague idea about his family….his kids are grown up almost 10-15 like that ..what if she doesn’t fit into a new culture… And then we lose both the boats…our father’s and that tricky politician’s .
And that muslim politician does have already 3 kids…i am not sure wheather i will be able to mix with them also. Probably he will have more kids if she marries my mom . Donno what will happen…their culture is completely different from us …
Answer to your concerns are long, but I am not able to reply you here due to the design of this website
Some of your concerns are valid.
My gut feel is he is not deceiving just to have sex with your mother, as he is still being generous and nice with you so he wants to
marry your mother and make you part of his family.I also don’t think he is having sex with her just to satisfy himself, I am sure your
mother is also enjoying it a lot.If your mother is taking so much
risk to cheat on ur dad openly,which means the pleasure and happiness she is getting out of this is far more than the risk and stress of
cheating on ur dad.Now suggestions for your concerns:
1.First step is to talk to your mom directly.
you can say, “Mom, I know you are very happy with him(address him respectfully) and I always want to see you happy.
But my concern is if he is really interested in marrying you, and if yes when?
I am just concerned as I can’t see you heartbroken, and as your son I would always support whatever decision you make.”
If your mom says they have a plan then it’s great.Support it wholeheartedly, and start preparing for your mother’s wedding!
If there is no plan then encourage her to have conversation with him next time she goes out with him.If she is not comfortable
to have that conversation outside then invite him home one day for tea and snacks.You make tea and snacks and either go out or
lock yourself in the room to give them complete provacy to hae that conversation.Fingers crossed,hope for the best.
if he says he wants to marry your mother then rest of the things will too fall in the place.No doubt there will be
challenges to fit in the new culture, but your mother and you would still be lot happier than you are now.
You can ask him how he wants you to address him,or you can just address him as “Sir.”Show him immense respect and offer him if you can help
him in his business.Since he is a politician, he can make use of your education in many office related jobs like accounting or IT or
whatever he needs help in.This way you would get to spend time with him,bond with him,understand him
and also get an opportunity to prove your worth.It will also make your mother happy to see you bonding with him.Learn cooking and other
domestic chores.All this will help you to bond with your future stepather,which will help you to move in with him and your mother
once they get married.That way you will always be able to see that she is happy and help her if needed.
Start learning about his culture and religion.Ask him what are his expectations from you regarding that.Muslims are very particular
and passionate about their culture and religion so be careful and immensely respectful.I am sure he would generously forgive
minor mistakes, and thatswhy initial bonding is important.
Overall,it will be also good for you, as it’s not just that your mother would be getting a real man first time in her life,but you would
also be getting real father-figure first time in your life.
Thank u for your kind concern vishakha. Your post has been highly helpful. Past two days have been roller-coaster ride of emotions for me . There is not even a cloud of dbout that my mother enjoys her intimacy and passionate sex with her Muslim lover.
To be very frank, at first I was quite hesitant to ask these questions to my mother. But after convincing my self I finally mustered up some courage to ask to her these questions. One by one I am going to state what series of incidents happened today.
Firstly, in the morning after some normaI chit chat i asked my mom wheather she is serious about her relationship??
Mom –what do you think?
Me — I think you are serious.
Mom–( I noticed a sparkle in her eyes) she just laughed at it mildly.
Me–so are you guys going to get married??
Mom– at this question she gave me a blank look…said that lets see( i understood that the ball is in the court of that politician…he will decide ultimately)
Me– i see; btw do you want to get married with that muslim politician?
Mom– your father is extremely disinterested in family affairs..i do have my own needs, family needs, mental needs…what should I do?? Is there any other way?
Me– in this regard I was silent. I didn’t have any answer.
( Saying this she got out of the room and said lastly that probably he( her lover) is going to come to our house to deliver rations. Yes liakat himself comes to our house to deliver rations)
She bacme ready , had a bath, wore red saree with red backless blouse. ( I understood it is her prepration to welcome her lover)
Around 12: 30 liakat came to our house with rations and another guy who was helping him . Generally he comes alone to our house but this time it was an exception. When the door bell rang my mom was watching tv ..she jumped out of our sofa to open the door and after they ( politician+ another guy) got into our house my mom suddenly gave her lover a hug and a kiss . Obviously it made me quite awkward because some one else was also present at vicinity. The other guy grinned like a Cheshire cat and looked at me with a side glance. My father was sleeping in first floor and we were present in the ground floor.
After some time liakat suddenly got a call from a local party office which was hardly at a distance of 10 minutes in a car. He said to my mom and the other guy to sit and have a chit chat while he goes to nearby party office and comes back in a while. Suddenly I got this idea to catch up with him and will be able to know his future planning about my mother’s marriage. So i request Ed him to take me with him …after some hesitation he agreed.
I got into the car and after some time posing questions at him.
Me– sir, if you don’t mind, are you going to get married with my mom??
Politician– let us see and he laughed it loud.
Me– when sir??
Politician– not now atleast, i am very busy with my schedule… it will take time if things go rightly. not this year atleast.. i am extremely busy.
Me– will my mom have to wear burqa?
Politician– oh obviously no….& Started praising my mom…she is ” prized possession of his life” …how beautiful she is….her natural beauty should not be covered…rather it should be showcased to each and everyone…evn he showed some pictures of my mom when she had gone to party meetings ( I have said it in my earlier posts that my mom started taking interest in politics recently) Those pictures were really beautiful and i couldn’t even recognise my mom’s new avatar in Extremely seductive sleevless red blouse and saree like that of today. ( My mom never mentioned about these pictures in front me taken in party meetings… generally she is quite reluctant to click pics of herself but this time it was an exception ). And said if each and every thing goes ok there is a possibility that your mom is going to have a ticket in upcoming elections … though I am not sure about it. Just you guys will have to change your names in accordance with Islam and you will have to do little more.
Me– means sir???
Politician– if you do khatna( circumcision) it will be better and if possible try to get accustomed with our coocking..you know how to Cook??
Me– yes..but not in details
Politician– learn it and teach your mom also …do you know about forbidden meat?
Me–i knew he was talking about beef .i said yes sir but…( He didn’t let me finish my sentence)
Politician– learn how to cook it.. though I don’t take interest in meat always but when I do it’s either beef or chicken with a single malt ( and laughed it loud and started patting on my back)
In the meantime we reached the party office and he started having discussions about future endeavours of their party and all. It took a huge time almost 2 hrs… After that we came to our house in his car and he said sorry to my mom for being late .
Mom said it’s ok…both hugged each other tightly and he along with his helping hand who had been waiting in our house for almost 3 hours left.
Right now, this is the situation…donno what to do?? sometimes I think is it really a right decision to get married to someone completely outside our culture or should she try to mend her relationship with my father??..if may happen so that my mom had sexual intercourse with her lover but still I think if she tries she can mend her relationship with my father….donno what to do??? Thanks vishakha once again to address my concern. I am extremely lonely in this fight
Kindly make a separate post on my comment…I hope no one gets into this scenario
First of all, don’t think u r into in some kind of fight.You are not.Also,don’t think you are alone in this.Your mother is there in it with you.Always take her guidance before you do anything.Having said that you are clearly in the difficult situation.I am glad you talked to your mother on this, and it is commendable that you gathered the courage to directly talk with Liaqat Good Job, Niloy!!!!
Now you have some clarity.Your mother clearly has political ambitions and she might also get a ticket,which is great.Good luck to her.Now your responsibility has only increased.You don’t want to be a thorn in between ur mother’s quest for finding her love as well as her career/political ambition.Be part of the solution,not a problem and this will help not only in mending your relationship with your mother but your career as well.Now you know what Liaqat expects from you and your mother.I am sure your mother must be knowing it already.You can talk to her about it.What does she expect you to do so that her political ambitions and relationship with Liaqat doesn’t get hurt.None of the things Liaqat expects you to do will hurt you physically or otherwise.He is just expecting you to change yourself as per his culture.You can first talk to your mother and ask her if your circumcision is necessary..tell her how scared you are…if she says u should do it then do it(it won’t harm you as far as i know).If she says you don’t have to do it then let her convince Liaqat or u can request him to allow the exception.Same can be done with beef.Just play this very carefully and politely as not only ur mother’s love but also career is at stake.The good thing is he has laid out the expectations clearly,which means he is serious about ur mother and has seriously thought about marrying her.If u r not comfortable with that third guy coming to ur house then u should always offer help and be ready to help Liaqat and ur mom..that way they don’t have to rely on someone else.Go to bring the ration and other things by urself next time.
I don’t know it’s possible to mend ur mother’s relationship with dad,as ur dad is not interested and your mother seems to have attached to Liaqat not only emotionally,physically but also career-wise.You should concentrate on improving ur relationship with ur mother by being her biggest supporter and cheerleader in her quest to find true love and also kickstart her political career.Don’t get uncomfortable by PDA between ur mom and Liaqat.It’s agood thing that they love eachother and if u r feeling too awkward u can sit in ur room or go out whenever he comes to spend time with ur mom, but don’t disturb them
It will eventually help you a lot and u will all be happy after this roller-coaster ride.Enjoy this roller-coaster ride than getting scared or stressed about it and always support ur mother.My best wishes for u and ur mother
As you have said to enjoy the roller coaster ride of life, i am trying to do that as possible but the ride seems to go down and down continuously. I am not only stressed, afraid but also excited because of the news mom got to know and gave me me just today Morning.
My mom has become pregnant and she knows it who’s the father….since then I am excited and afraid at the same time.. because i always wanted to have a brother or a sister but that of my father , not of someone else from outside the family and that too because of illegitimate sexual intercourse with a Muslim who already does have 3 kids. Just after getting the news mom who is in her reproductive age(39+)has broken down 💔.they used protection but still somehow things went astray….my mom called Liaqat early in the morning..but he doesn’t wake up that early..so around 10 am he called back and my mom bursted into tears telling him that he is the father.
Liaqat told her very calmly that he might marry her but there are two conditions.
Firstly, he can marry her but atleast not in this year because he is extremely busy with campaigns.( As he told me in car)
Secondly, she can’t abort the baby & the baby should have an islamic name ..and if it’s a boy he also must do khatna….
Situations are really bad.. at first i thought to lodge a police complain but then checked myself thinking that he has political power in his hands..and he said that he can marry my mom but with two aforementioned conditions….lodging a complain would make things worse and possibly will completely rule out the possibility of my mom getting married with him.
I have tried my level best to console my mom and also tried to convince her saying that he has not said that he is not going to marry you…he is ready but with conditions… But I know in my heart that the first condition would delay things greatly.
By god’s grace, my mom is still not divorced and she can pretend that she is bearing the child of my father though reality is different and unless & untill mom gets married with Liaqat we will have to continue to act in that way. Atleast that’s my plan and i have told mom about it. She is in between a devil and a deep sea.
don’t know what will happen if father gets to know it.!!!
Though there is a positive side to it….my mom is opening herself more and more to me nowadays. She is talking about her mental, physical and emotional needs to me and this unfortunate situation is boosting up our relationship.
God knows how to deal with this worsening situation.
Can you reply back to our email at your email address sent. We have not heard back from you. Let’s get connected offline.
After much convincing liakat is getting married with my mom in this Sunday … though I don’t know anything about “nikah” but still whatever arrangements have been possible for me I have done it…..it’s a new life for my mom who is already pregnant.. Father as always disinterested in my mom told her whatever she likes to do she can do that…legal paper works for my father are going to take time.
My mom will have to think of a new name for her… liakat suggested sayema…but also gave free choice to choose her name…any suggestions are welcomed.
And i have been given free choice by liakat if i like I can settle with my mom or with my biological father, as i wish.
I am full of excitement…a new turn of my life.
It’s a matter of reversing the question. If the broom is not willing to give up his religion to marry the woman he loves, the marriage is based on an unfair relationship.
If in Islam, a Muslim can marry a non-Muslim woman but the opposite is not accepted, then it is an unfair to women. As Ambedkar said, if a religion is not fair with you, you should find a different one.
Most of the stories here are made up and fake.
I don’t get it, what do people get by making these kinds of fake stories.
Hindu s have lost their mind …if it continues for next 59 years ..Hindus will be a big trouble .
And only responsible is the Hindu womans..I think Hindu girls have a intense sexual desire to marry a Muslim….I think plz change Ur mind ….sex is not ultimate …respect Ur oelwn religion ..thank u
Admin sir,Their children are practicing Muslim traditions. obviously it’s one side that is Islam.
Hi Srilekha, Nowadays it’s not uncommon marriage between Brahmin girl and Muslim boy.In our city I am witnessed in these kind of marriages.It is the duty to respect each other’s religion when boy or girl going to get marry with other religion.I belongs to Brahmin and in our family one of our far relative girl married a Muslim boy. Now husband has given freedom to follow her traditions.
Hi Sharat,
Let us know how they will raise children. Will that be in two faiths, Hinduism and Islam?
Admin sir,Their children are practicing Muslim traditions.Obviously it is one side,that is Islam.Its impossible and one can never expect that a Muslim partner will let his children or give rights/freedom to follow two faiths.
SriLekha, why don’t you ask your boyfriend to convert to Hinduism instead? Would you kindly ask him where was his religion when he fell in love with a Hindu girl? And even if the conversion is only nominal, would not it be a unjust compromise with your identity and a huge blow to your self-worth? Would it never bother you to think that you had to change your name, your, religion and your culture in order to marry a man who you thought loved you so much? Wouldn’t it hurt your parents? What kind of children will you raise in future? A mother that has no self-respect, who doesn’t know how to stand up for her identity will have no significant role in nurturing her children. Would you be able to live with all this? Ask him to convert to your religion and if he doesn’t agree to your proposal then go for a civil wedding. But even if then he doesn’t agree with you then do yourself a favor and leave this toxic relationship. Your religion matters. Your culture matters. Your identity matters. Don’t sell it for too low a price. Thank you.
If you search and read verses 4:34, 8:12, 9:5 will be shocked to see what a Muslim person think about others. The boy will get heaven with 72 hoors if convert a girl to Islam.
Dear SriLekha,
Please explain us “Its not about converting to another it’s about following”. Do you mind converting to Islam? Are you saying you want to (fake) convert to Islam but do not want to follow all (any) Islamic practices? Is that true? Let us know and we can talk more, thank you.