American Catholic Black in love with Pakistani

Robert says: March 8, 2013 at 8:40 am

Hi everyone,

I am a bit nervous posting here, especially about this topic. I have read a lot of posts on these boards and am aware of the hyper conservative nature of many of the posters. Regardless, I am interested in your reaction to my situation…

I am an American Catholic Black man(32 yrs) in love with a beautiful Pakistani Muslim woman(24 years) for the last 2 years. Her name is Asmah.

We are both madly in love and want to marry each other, however, we aren’t finding any easy way to have a nikah performed without me converting. If it was up to us, we would be married tomorrow.

Let me give you a brief rundown on our religious backgrounds. Religion isn’t a dominating part of either of our lives, but we do have strong moral beliefs stemming from our religious backgrounds.

We are both liberal in our religious views, in the sense that we believe only God can determine what is right and wrong and that he loves us both regardless of our inborn religions. The way we look at things is that we are both good people, we both love God and try to do what is right, and we both love each other. Neither her nor I find it offensive that the other is from another religion. We find each other’s religions to be beautiful in their own way, and promise to honor each others religions throughout our married life together. Both our religions are important to us in the sense that they are a source of tradition and happiness. We want to share our religions with each other. Already, I have been to masjid and she has been to church. I am also observing ramazan while she attends Christmas mass with me.

On the topic of children, we both love and want children very much. Her being Pakistani and Muslim and myself being German-American and Christian we both have traditions of our own and we want to instill both aspects of our histories into our children. When the time comes for children, religion should not be a problem. I am very familiar with Islam, my best friends and the woman I love are all Muslim, so I am not like your typical American in the sense that Islam is not foreign to me. We will raise our children with a knowledge of all traditions (Ramazan, Christmas, etc) but will let them decide in the end what religion they want to be. Better, if they donot adopt muslim culture. In the event of girls born, Islam is not good for females, forcing them to various evils and lead a miserable life.

Seeking guidance please. -Robert

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Admin says:

Robert and Asmah,

Your case is simple. You live in America and free to do what you wish. You both love “God” and “your cultures” but you never mentioned that you love the middle men (Paul, Peter and Muhammad) and rituals (Shahadah, Nikaah after conversion, pre-Nuptial to marry in a church, baptism a must for children, etc).

You do not have to marry in a Catholic church or by an Imam/Nikaah. Go marry in a Buddhist temple, they have God there and will perform your wedding in a neutral spiritual non-partial way. Jesus (not church) and Allah (the Father God) will be happy.

You have said it right that you will take your kids to church on Sundays and mosques on Fridays. Enjoy both religious institutions, cultures, food, festivals, fasting and parties and all. You are free man, get free from the middle men. Why you have to get locked into one (or other) practices to please the middle men?

Catabolism and Islam are absolutely exclusivist, supremacist and monotheist religions. In your case, you will never get a satisfactory answer from them if “JESUS IS A SON OF GOD OR JUST ONE OF APOSTLES“. If you try to answer it, there will be a third World War!

Ignore all these exclusivity, and BE A PLURALIST (you already are pluralist). Enjoy being what you are!

Robert and Asmah, we would love to hear if it make sense what we stated above. -Admin.

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