mgk says: March 27, 2015 at 7:49 am
Hi,
Feels good to know that there are a few people out there who value happiness and love in a relationship over everything else. After all, what’s life without happiness, love and positivity? Unfortunately, in case of inter faith marriages a lot of precious time is wasted in doubt, uncertainty and disputes among loved ones.
A simple fact here, love is not calculated. It is not manipulative and does not seek sacrifice. I’m glad that Ami, being so well educated, took a decision of turning to atheism and being happy about it. I have scientist parents who are liberal Hindus, but who will definitely oppose my relationship with my Muslim boyfriend of 10years. I am financially independent and so is my boyfriend. However, his parents want me to convert. I’m not being arrogant about my education or family background here, but I am vehemently against religious conversion. I know its not easy..but if you can fall in love and pursue a Hindu girl, then you better find the courage to marry the Hindu girl.
I know and believe that I will give his family the same (or maybe even more) love, respect and care that any Muslim girl might give them (apart from keeping their son happy). But sadly, that is not enough.
We are currently devising ways to convince his parents to accept me as a Hindu. This point we plan to use to convince my parents too.
I welcome suggestions from anybody who has something constructive to offer. I do not want to know that Islam doesn’t permit it..everybody knows it. I have fallen into this with eyes open so yes I know about it. -mgk
mgk says: April 13, 2015 at 9:13 am
@Aakash: I personally do not want to convert. I am pretty happy with my religion. I happen to be in love with a Muslim.. And for me it’s as natural as being in love with a Hindu. His religion does not matter to me and nor mine to him. Yes I respect Islam and he respects Hinduism.
As for my parents… The biggest doubt in any Hindu girl’s parents mind about a Muslim boyfriend is.. Oh he has brainwashed you because he wants to convert you. My biggest support is that
the he doesn’t want me to convert.
Yes we know about the Special Marriage Act 1954 and that’s how we would like to get married. -mgk
Also read: VIDEO: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, Hindu-Muslim Marriage-video, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Jain-Muslim marriages, Brahmin-Muslim marriages, Bollywood and Interfaith Marriages.
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A Hindu in Love with a Muslim Girl for past 5 Years
Dear Mgk,
You are intelligent and thus we like to talk to you points that affect our society. it has many implications to your situation.
Hinduism is a pluralist religion while Islam is totally an exclusivist. It is okay for a Hindu to sing Isvar Allah Tero Nam. Further, Hindus think Jesus and Muhammad believers could achieve salvation (be saved or go to heaven) as far as they are doing good karma in this life. Contrary to that, Muslims (most?) believe that only Sunni will go to heaven, while all Christians, Shia-Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jains and Hindus will get Hell Fire on the Judgment Day. They have even doubt what will happen to Mahatma Gandhi (and your parents) and will say it is only Allah knows if Gandhi (and your parents) will be in heaven or hell.
Will you be comfortable one day teaching such exclusivist teachings to your children?
Dear Mgk,
You will find in your married life (and life in general) that every one expect a woman (girl) to mold her thinking but a man (husband) can remain stubborn and be a male chauvinist and that is okay. WHY? Let us know what you think what we wrote here https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=9152
Dear mgk,
On Apr 15 you said, “Be it saying a thank u, or fearing Him, or praying to Him.. All of it happens in my heart.” This is superb, we are with you and understand it. You do not believe in man made religions and man-made churches/mosques/mandirs etc.
However, the issue with you is what he (Muslim lover) believes in.
a) Does he believe Muhammad as some super power?
b) Is Koran 100% truth (including these?)
c) Will there be the Judgment Day after death?
d) Does he believe bowing to Lord Shiva is sin but bowing to Kaaba black cube is holy?
e) If his Muslim sister is in love with a Hindu (high professional and a decent) guy, will he support her?
f) Who he truly is? An honest man or a con-artist?
What do you wish to do with your life?
1) Tell us if he is insisting you to convert (even fake) to Islam? He said no but what will you do if he change his mind after marriage (read Nusrat)? Do you have guts to walk away then?
2) Tell us if he wants your children to be 100% Muslims only (name, formal religion, circumcision, visiting mosques and not temple, no Diwali/Holi, if your children are in love with a Hindu, they will convert the Hindu lover to Islam, …). Why this is logical? Is that in line with your belief in God?
3) Tell us if you are okay spending your next 10 years of life in same limbo-status as your last 10 years? Remember, girls age faster but a guy could always find a young chic at an old age. So, as a woman, you are a big looser.
4) If you are a smart and practical woman, you will make a clear goal/target in life – this way or that way – by some specific day (Dec 31, 2015?). If that does not work out, cut your losses and move on with you life. Do you wish to make such a life goal? We will work with you right here. Let us know.
Dear mgk, we would love to help you. Keep in contact every day right here to help evaluate what you wish to do. After all, it is your life and your decision.
Admin you said
“You do not believe in man made religions and man-made churches/
mosques/mandirs etc.”
if every thing is man made religion then which is God’s religion?
You cant found the word “hinduism” from veda or upanishad, you cant found the word “christians” from bible but you can found the word “Islam” from Quran. .
Every book is a man made book then which is God’s book?
You asked to mgk
1)Does he believe Muhammad as some super power?
No Muslims are there that they are beliving muhammed(p.b.u.h) as super power. .he is a messanger of God not a God
2) Is Koran 100% truth ( including these?)
If quran is not 100% truth then which book is 100% truth and we have discussed what u have quoted are out of context.
3) Will there be the Judgment Day after death?
we have proved already there is a judgement day
4) Does he believe bowing to Lord Shiva is sin but bowing to Kaaba black cube is holy?
we have already discussed on this, muslims are not bowing to kaaba, muslims are bowing to the God. .
Mohammed, mgk is quite different than you are. She does not like to be stuck in some religious books and practices. She is a free-spirited and wishes to think outside the box. It’s mgk’s choice for what she wishes to do with her life.
@admin:
I am more obsessed with my identity than religion. I do not mind raising my children as liberal Muslims. I have nothing against Islam as a religion. As long as my children are brought up to respect all religions and make an effort to mix freely with my Hindu parents.. I am totally comfortable with the fact that my kids might be Muslims. It might help having a Hindu mother who doesn’t preach and instead encourages them to be progressive and tolerant towards all human beings.
We are not here to harm anybody. Yes it is true that I want the next 10years of my life to be different than my past decade.. But I sincerely hope that it is spent with the same man.
Another point, my boyfriend had frankly told me that he would personally wish that I convert. However, he said he would never force me and would feel ashamed of himself if he ever had to come and put it as a condition for me. He said he would rather let me be a Hindu than not be with me at all. It is this honesty that makes me believe that he would not force me to convert later.
My boyfriend has his religious beliefs which I would never try to change. In fact I would like celebrate all his festivals without judging it’s core ideals. The least I expect in return from him and his family is love and respect for my parents and their beliefs.
We do intend to reach a conclusion on this by end of this year.
Mgk,
You are out searching for soul, and that is wonderful. All intelligent people should do that way. We believe we rightly judge you as “She (mgk) does not like to be stuck in some religious books and practices.”
We are not here to judge for what is right and wrong for you. It is only you who know your own situation. But we could discuss over next 6 months different soul searching points that will help you make what ever decision you wish to.
He already wished you convert. Further he want all your children to be Muslims. He has all Muslim parents and you will be surrounded by all pressure (not direct but in a way) all times from his community. Every one will try to prove that Islam is only true religion and Hindus are misguided people. Someday you may be sick, weak, in need and during those times, you will be succumbed to their desire you to be a Muslim. One or the other day you will have to be a Muslim in your life. We rather you be first Muslim, then only marry. If not, be on your own ways with your pride and dignity.
Muslim means ultimately you MUST have to have beliefs like mac and Muhammad. Read every thing they have said. There is only one religion and that is Islam. Every one else has to be converted to Islam. You will have to learn to glorify Muhammad. If he had 11 wives, it is for good reasons. Only Muslims will go to heaven on the Judgment Day. Your parents will get Hell Fire, unless you managed to convert them to Islam.
These two words are contrasting terms “liberal Muslims”. All Muslims must truly follow Koran and Muhammad only. Even Shia Muslims are not Muslims (as per mac and Muhammed), then there is no question left for your parents. Do not have any doubt about any word in the Koran (even these). Will you be comfortable help recite your children ..Koran 4:91 “..lay hold of them (unbelievers) and kill them wherever you find them. Over such men We give you absolute authority.”? Will you be happy one day you have children like mac (his mother was Brahmin!; now he is dating Brahmin). Will it make you happy when your children and grandchildren go marry other Hindus and convert them (till no Hindu left to covert)?
You said Kareena Kapoor is a celebrity but you are not. Remember, in this one life, you, the mgk, is only celebrity for yourself. Do not put yourself down. Never convert unless you feel 100% being like mac and Muhammed. Get engaged with them on this site to learn Islam from them (may be you will like it). Only difference between them and your boyfriend is these two guys are honest and truthful (while your bf may be a polished guy sugar coating things for you).
There is just so much we could talk with you and we will be right here waiting for you. mgk, do that is rational, not out of blind love.
@admin: you make me feel as though I have fallen in some scary business. Yes.. The points you have made are all valid. Raising kids as Muslims was my decision. But yes, all the other points will be proven right/wrong only after the matter is taken up with his parents. Then, his support and love for me will be tested. If he passes it, great! If he doesn’t, then the most practical way out is to move on as I would not want to force myself upon anybody.
Thanks for the advice.
Dear Mgk,
We could see that you are going through hell in this life, while others at your age are having wonderful times. Well, steer through this difficult time with rational thinking and good days are ahead waiting for you (after initial pain).
It is a good idea to put a solid deadline and make a firm decision by then for one or the other way. Ten years is a long time to be in a limbo. Pressure him to tell you how are you going to get married. Tell him clearly that you will die as a Hindu (if that is your wish; don’t confuse him). Talk to his parents ASAP.
Remember, NEVER EVER fake-convert. Your “love” will fade away in 6 months into married life, then you are back to your roots. Fake-conversion will only bring disasters for both of you and two extended families.
Tell us how he feels you talking to his parents?
Dear Mgk,
Dont be foolish with admin. .he already get fool for his thoughts. .
he is making misguiding u about islam. .and he also quoted with out of context. .we have told several times to him but he is not listing. .
i will tell u what is the context of that verse then u will be the judge
For context go to chapter 4 v 88-91
“Why should you divide yourselves into two groups regarding hypocrites (among you) ?
GOD is the one who condemned them because of their own behavior. Do you want to guide those who are sent astray by GOD ?
Whomever GOD sends astray, you can never find a way to guide them.
[4:89] They wish that you disbelieve as they have disbelieved, then you become equal. Do not consider them
friends, unless they mobilize along with you in the cause of GOD . If
they turn against you, you shall
fight them, and you may kill them
when you encounter them in war.
You shall not accept them as
friends, or allies.
[4:90] Exempted are those who
join people with whom you have
signed a peace treaty, and those
who come to you wishing not to
fight you, nor fight their relatives.
Had GOD willed, He could have
permitted them to fight against
you. Therefore, if they leave you
alone, refrain from fighting you,
and offer you peace, then GOD
gives you no excuse to fight them.
[4:91] You will find others who
wish to make peace with you, and
also with their people. However, as
soon as war erupts, they fight
against you. Unless these people
leave you alone, offer you peace,
and stop fighting you, you may
fight them when you encounter
them. Against these, we give you a
clear authorization.
Muhammed is a great example how Muslims think. We do not want to elaborate but the day you start thinking like Muhammed (and mac), become Muslim.
I have read a thousand times…and i am afraid its true…Islam does not believe in man made laws like Special Marriage Act….
So…consider it if u r ready to go against the two sets of parents…..bt i rather advice to stick to convincing them as gently as u can….coz this will guarentee u a happy life….
Islam only allow conversion of all other to Islam. After conversion, reverting back to your birth faith will be punishable by up to death.
If you do not have any intention to be a true Muslim, get married any other legal way than Nikaah. Be bold, be truthful.
Islam only allow conversion of all other to Islam. After conversion, reverting back to your birth faith will be punishable by up to death.
Peoples are searching the truth day by day and accepting islam is the truth religion . .i dont know when u will accept. .
Birth faith is muslim. .All human are born as muslim then reverting back to birth faith from islam is not possible. .
Any way u wont agree my points and make commenting with diverting
We will accept Islam the day you tell us that one don’t have to glorify Muhammad any more. We will be waiting.
Admin, define what is Islam?
Muhammad is the founder and chief prophet of Islam and the source for the Quran. If one removes Muhammad from Islam, nothing left there. We like simple messages about God in the Koran but do not like the practice of glorifying a single human being. If it works for you, we do not have any problem with it.
This was your problem admin..
you dont know about the definition of Islam…how u can manage the islamic people here
if u want to manage this site the great interfaith marriage then ur role become nill.. .you should have knowledge of religions. .but unfortunately u dont have any knowledge. .
u dont have any rights to manage this site. .
hence u are going to astray along with those people who are accepting you. .
note my point readers. .
Mac/mohammad,
Everyone here has a faith, a belief. There can be many interpretations of all religions, and everybody chooses to believe what is most comfortable for him/her. I have a religion, I believe in God. But that does not mean I will not accept what you believe in. I respect your thoughts/beliefs/religion. Do you respect mine?
None of us here are experts on our own religions. Most of what we know is based on our own thoughts and opinions. Or vice-versa. I know that Islam is very respectable.. Because I love someone who happens to be your Muslim brother. And he is an excellent human being, a brilliant son, a loving brother and an extremely loving and caring boyfriend. If he is so good, then how can the religion he follows be bad? Its not. I simply happen to be happy and content with my faith and am content with him being happy with his. Is it so difficult to understand?
I know he cannot marry anybody outside his religion, and I know it is not enough that I respect Islam and love his parents if I do not convert. But this is how it is.. I cannot help it. I’m sorry if it offends you, my Muslim brothers.
Please read ‘Wanna be a Muslim’s wife? A crash course for every infidel girl ! ” http://rationalks.blogspot.in/2014/10/wanna-be-muslims-wife-crash-course-for.html
MGK
What constructive suggestions you need? You have been warned about criminal and cruel teachings of islam against women? Do you want to jump into a fry pan.
May be 10 years association but still you are not full trapped. Once you are fully trapped, then see how your bad days start? You will not be allowed to move freely or object other 3 wives? If ever dare to object, how mercilessly you will be beaten, may be stonned to death under adultery charges. Have you read in the news papers how islamic terrorists marry girls and after sexually assaulting them for few weeks transfer them to other terrorists and the same situation continues till poor girls dies. Perhaps you are determined to spoil your future.
The day you marry him, you will be forced to beat beef,undergo FMG, and even wedding night you have to prove your verginity by showing blood stains on the bed sheet.
Dont you learn from the cruelties of these guys even from muslim countries, where they are not sparing muslim girls. Girls of the age of 8-10 are forcibly being married to older people of 48 to 60 yerars, auctioning them openly.
IN ISLAM IS OPENLY ADVISED TO TRAP NON MUSLIM GIRLS, EVEN ON FALSE SUBMISSION OF FACTS, LYING IS ALLOWED TO EXPAND ISLAMIC POPULATIONS.
ISLAM IS A MOST CRUEL AND CRIMINAL RELIGION OF WORLD.
Choice is yours, go and destroy your body and soul.
MGK,
It appears you have been trapped on false and flattering grounds. What goodness you find in islam and in muslim, who are now a days number one terrorist and criminal minded persons. Every where in the world, they are indulged in crimes, like rape, kidnapping, killing, bomb blasts, terrorist activities.
Remember islam is a criminal and cruel religion, where females have no respect, they are just sex toys and multiplication of population machine. Do you want burqa, tripple talak threats, restrictions, facing three another wives of your husband, female genital mutiliation, halala, stonning to death, if you ever decided to go back to parent religion.
Right now he may be posing submissive, kind hearted, pleasing but the day, you marry him, he will change his colors and showing monstrous face.
Hi,
I had specifically asked for constructive suggestions. But nonetheless, please understand that spending 10 years with an individual, through all happiness and difficulties, helps you get to know a great deal about the person. Also, I would advice you against baseless and illogical generalisation of any religion, as that would only harm you growth as a human and your peace of mind.
At this moment, marriage to my Muslim boyfriend is not as important as compared to being with him and nobody else. We know that if we get married, I will retain my religion and beliefs. If we are unable to marry on that term, we are more than happy to stay together, unmarried.
Nevertheless, I thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Hey,sweetie conversion by force is a big sin in Islam,so you can show the needed verses from the Quran to his family..btw, you can also become a christian or jew woman to marry him,this is permitted..just saying..see tell them that forcing you to convert is what is driving you AWAY from conversion and if they just leave your faith alone,maybe in the future you Might willingly convert..not that you would,but it’s a good idea to be tactful where in laws are involved ;)..btw,i hope your partner supports you completely in this..Also make sure you have discussed the kids faith so that there is no confusion later on..Also I’d tell you to read up a bit on islam teachings and ask him yo read a bit about hindu teachings in order to know more about their partners faith..neither of you need to convert but I feel that sometimes participating in each others religious occasions will only make your bond stronger and even show both of your families that at least you both try and not simply refuse each others faith altogether..remember that a bit of flexibility works amazingly for any relationship. .Most of all be strong..All the best 🙂
Hi mgk,
A perfect scenario for us to work. It is feasible to achieve your dream of Hindu-Muslim marriage with equality. We will give you lots of tips how to go about it. First watch two videos suggested above and give us your feedback on it. Lets talk more over next few months right here. Stay tuned!
Thank you Admin! We will definitely have a look at the videos.
In the meantime, can you please connect us with anybody on the forum who has had a successful and no conversion Hindu-Muslim marriage. I know the count might be extremely less to nil, but no harm in asking 🙂
Dear mgk,
As you rightly pointed it out, yes we know of about 3-4 out of total 300-400 Hindu Muslim youths. One of recent one is Ami, but again she is in America.
The statistics will not help you because you have only one do deal with what you have. Show him suggested videos. Ask him if he is a religious fanatic? Stick with Kareena Kapoor’s case. If Kareena could do it, why not you?
Another point, mgk is not getting young every day. Ten years is a long time to invest. Plan to resolve this issue by this year end, this way or that way. Please keep in touch with us and we will provide you our experiences.
Hi Admin,
Marriage is not as important as being together is. Because it is the norm of the society we will give it a try. But resolving it in any other way that would keep us apart from each other is not acceptable by us. Similarly, eloping is a concept we don’t believe in.
I knew the numbers are not gonna be great. I know at least half a dozen people who have given up this fight because they didn’t see any ray of hope.
And as for Kareena Kapoor, we are not celebrities. We both have simple lives, with ordinary families who worry about society. 🙂
We will share our feedback about the videos soon.
Hi mgk..im in a very similar situation. Imin a relationship with a muslim man for the past five years. We have also reached on an agreement that doesn’t involve conversion on my side. Planning to tell families by by next year. Wishing you all the best. Please do keep us posted on how u managed to diffuse tensions
@Mercury: Thank you so much! I always connect to people with a similar story… 🙂 I am so happy to know about you and wish you and your boyfriend all the very best. It’s a long struggle and a rough road towards happiness.. And we need all the wishes we can get.
Dear Mercury,
You said, “Imin a relationship with a muslim man for the past five years”, tell us if you are ready to convert to Islam? What is your birth religion.
Hi admin,
Just wanted to share a development.
So I belong to a particular sect that does not believe in Idol worship. Yes I am a Hindu, but my community was formed as a result of oppression of Brahmins in the 12th century. We are the only sect among Hindus who bury their dead. We believe that God is infinite and formless and going to temples doesn’t prove our devotion to Him. However, we do believe that through Lord Shiva we can worship God. We are not allowed to consume alcohol. The ideology of my sect is based on everything against the norms followed by Brahmins.. Hence we don’t believe in the caste system and are not even a part of it. We would like to call ourselves a separate religion, but we have lost that fight. These remain the core believes of my community. Only a few but important similarities to Islam.
Now tell me, how does my situation sound? Because this is the main point we will be using to convince both our parents.
Wht sect is this?? Any specific name?
@Aakash: I’m a lingayat
would ur parents disavow u if u get converted??
And wht have u thought to tell ur parents to convince them??
@Aakash: I personally do not want to convert. I am pretty happy with my religion. I happen to be in love with a Muslim.. And for me it’s as natural as being in love with a Hindu. His religion does not matter to me and nor mine to him. Yes I respect Islam and he respects Hinduism.
As for my parents… The biggest doubt in any Hindu girl’s parents mind about a Muslim boyfriend is.. Oh he has brainwashed you because he wants to convert you. My biggest support is that
the he doesn’t want me to convert.
mgk,
Interesting, You were oppressed by Brahmins and decided to be free spirited, great!! Now there are some religious fanatic in Islam too who wants all only their ways (like Wahhabis). Religions are good but religious fanatics make it worst.
You said, “his parents want me to convert”. For that, bottom line, tell us if you MUST have to (even fake) convert? How are you planning to get married by?… the Special Marriage Act 1954?
@admin
No fake convert. Our efforts are towards convincing our parents to accept us as we are.
Yes we know about the Special Marriage Act 1954 and that’s how we would like to get married.
And historically my community was oppressed. I am free spirited… That doesn’t mean the rest of my community is. A lot of beliefs in my community, like in any other religion/community, have got mixed up. But the fundamental beliefs are as I have mentioned, according to which I also don’t believe in Idol worship.
Dear mgk,
We feel you are on right track, having 1) the Special Marriage Act marriage and 2) raise children in BOTH faiths. Further, 3) having children a neutral name and not Arabic. In our experience dealing with about 500 youths like you, these 3 are just a dream and not possible in ~90% (99%?) cases. But your case may be special. Make sure to give us great news when you achieve your impossible dream of Interfaith marriage with EQUALITY. We would be most happy.
View these two videos and let is know your views:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlAuY85RlcE"Interfaith Marriage with Equality and Hindu-Muslim Marriage-video.
Also read about who is and who is not idol-worshiper. Every one uses some focus point, like Ganesh murti, Kaaba, wood cross, David’s star, etc. It is wrong to say one is using idol-worshiping while others not. People should use what ever works for them to pray to God, that is free spirit tolerant thinking.
mgk, we love to discuss more with you and keep in touch right here. Best of best wishes for you.
@admin..that was a very interesting read about Idol worship. I do not call myself a religious Hindu.. And maybe that is one reason I want to marry a Muslim. I do believe in a supreme power..because it is my faith.. Something that stops me from murdering a person and inspires me to be kind, compassionate and humane.
Had I believed that God can be found in a statue or a stone, perhaps I would be proud to say it. But I don’t believe that.. Everything I feel for and about God.. Be it saying a thank u, or fearing Him, or praying to Him.. All of it happens in my heart. It may sound a little childish to others.. But I am happy to be this way.. It has worked for me just fine. To each his own.
Lastly, thank u for giving us hope.