Section 8.7: Ahmadi Muslim Girl with Catholic Christian

Section 8.7: Ahmadi Muslim Girl with Catholic Christian

Sara says:

Hi Admin,

I have got myself in a confusing situation. I’m an Ahmadi girl living in Pakistan. Not sure if you’re familiar with the Ahmadi sect, but in Pakistan we are not considered Muslims, although Ahmadis believe that only their version of Islam is the true Islam and when it comes to marriage, we are ONLY allowed to marry within the Ahmadi Community. Even marriage to other mainstream Muslims is not permissible. If a girl is to marry outside the community, then even her parents are kicked out of the community. The other members of this faith are supposed to boycott them socially. So if I choose to marry outside the community, even my parents will have to face the consequences.

Now coming to the real problem, I have been dating a Catholic Christian boy for a year. I am still a student, pursuing a degree in Computer Science from a well reputed university, whereas he is working, but earning enough to only support himself. I have been visiting his house regularly, and I am on good terms with his family and relatives. As far as marriage is concerned, his family will not have a problem, but mine will. I’m afraid both my parents will go into depression and consider this the worst kind of betrayal by their daughter. My plan was to graduate next year, get a decent job and then tell my parents honestly that this is what I want. But I am afraid that this will create a great deal of distress and agony to them, and living in a conservative country like Pakistan, I think it will make matters even worse. What should I do? —Sara

Admin says:

Dear Sara,

We feel your pain. You are an innocent victim of this society. You are trapped into a silo created by religious leaders for their benefits.

We understand if you don’t have the strength to fight against society or go against religious leaders. Your easiest solution would be to find and marry a well-educated and decent Ahmadi guy. However, if you cannot find a good match in your own community, then consider your other options.

For the next year, can you please focus on your education? Then get a decent paying job which will help you make the decisions for your future that are right for you. Eventually plan to find a job or continuing education outside of Pakistan. Without good education and financial independence, you will be at the mercy of others.

Now let’s talk of the most critical issue, the interfaith marriage. You said, “I am on good terms with his family and relatives.” What does that mean? Are they willing to accept you as a “Muslim” and is he willing to marry you without converting you to Christianity? How will you get married, by nikaah, a church wedding, both or a civil wedding? Which imam and/or Christian priest/pastor will be willing to perform your dual marriages? What will be the names of your children, Muslim or Christian? Will your children have baptism to announce them as Christians or will they be Muslims in a Christian home? What will you teach your children—who is the Father of Jesus? If you want to learn the truth, tell his parents that your children will never be baptized, and see their reaction. Best wishes. —Admin

Sara says:

Dear Admin,

Thank you for bringing that to my knowledge. I wanted to tell you that although it was difficult, I did have a talk with my boyfriend about baptism of our children and church wedding.

Thank you for taking time out to reply, even the fact that someone out there is taking time out to help me brings joy to my heart. —Sara