Section 5.23: My Girlfriend Is a Pure Muslim

Section 5.23: My Girlfriend Is a Pure Muslim

Interfaith marriages are complex and it takes full maturity to understand all issues. Next three chaptes cover youths in their early 20s. Here, Agnostic is recommending Shiv to set priorities in life.

Shiv says:

I have a girlfriend. She is pure Muslim. We are best friends for the last one-year. I love her very much. But she is not accepting me because I am a Hindu boy. Her thought is little bit same about my thought, but her family is pure Muslim. We both are good and intelligent students. I know that India is a secular country and also I am not saying about any region. I believe in Allah as well as Hindu God. I am not discriminating against any religion. What can I do?

And I also want to crack IIT so that in future I will become a good engineer. Can her parents accept me after am successful? —Shiv

Agnostic says:

Firstly:

1. You mention you’re trying to crack IIT. I assume you are 17-18. Forget about love. What do you know about how you will think 4 years ahead? And IIT is no cakewalk. When I was doing it, this was ALL I believed in, ate, slept, and worked on. IIT was like my religion (was much harder being a girl—no peer group). Either ways, You CANNOT have a relationship like this and hope to crack the IIT. Forget everything and go study—listen to me.

2. Again, you are VERY young. At this age, your thoughts will change super quickly. Your future plans might be totally different from hers 4-5 years down the road. Do you want to be in a relationship at the prime of your life at 21, just because you jumped into it without thinking? And another thing: you will change a lot during your undergrad, we all do. You will have grown as a person, and will definitely want different things later.

3. If she is not accepting you, it’s possibly because she is not ready to go through with the challenges involved. Respect her choice. You should think before you step in to this. It’s NOT an easy road. Unless BOTH of you accept each other and discuss the major points on religion, you should not take even one step ahead. Also your parents will not even take you seriously at this age. Most Hindu parents place a HIGH emphasis on education. Meet those expectations first.

4. There is a chance that you might have drifted apart during your undergrad from this girl due to rapidly changing personalities and experiences. Give that a chance to happen. Her life may be totally different from yours. It’s a BAD idea to get into a relationship at your stage.

Also, if it’s destined you’ll make it together anyway and will be more convinced and mature to deal with such complicated things later on. —Agnostic