PRIYA January 22, 2020 8:14 am
Hi m in love with a Muslim boy since 2 years and both of us feel very comfortable with each other to take this relationship ahead for a marriage. But the issue is that he is not agreeing for a marraige without me converting to Islam which i don’t want to do.
I know that is the way out but I don’t want to leave my religion for this sake. Please help me take the next step. –Priya
Admin says:
Hi Priya,
Apparently you are educated and smart. Further, you are a progressive thinker and open-minded (based on… you fall in love with a Muslim). These are well and good but you have to made decisions for your life based on your mind and not only heart. We are here to help you think a few points but ultimate decision will be yours.
It is natural to fall in love. He also fall in love with you. People use hearts to fall in love. As much you want to believe that your love is true (which is truth now), it will not last 6 months into your married life. If you don’t believe us, go ask any married person for more than 5 years. For this reason, let’s talk of using your mind and common senses.
He fall in love with you for what ever you are (along with other things, you are a Hindu). If that is true, for a wife, why he wants you to be something you are not (meaning a Muslim)? How can you be so sure you can be something you are not?
He is asking for a rose to convert to a carnation. If he loved a carnation so much, why he did not fall in love with a carnation to start with? There are plenty of hijab wearing Muslim “obedient” girls around.
Our major concern is–why he is bringing up expectations of conversion after two years of romantic relationship? Why he did not told you that you must convert on the first date? Are you fool enough to believe that “he did not knew then”? Why he fooled you all along? Why he lied and deceived you for two years? How can you trust a person who changes his colour every day? What else is he not telling you now?
What conversion has to do with your innocent love? Is he a Love Jihadi?
Why he is asking you to convert? Why not you ask him to convert to Hinduism (view Poison Pill)? Is he a male chauvinist that only the girl has to convert? Ask him what would he do if his Muslim (cousin) sister falls in love with a Hindu? Does he expect her to convert to Hinduism?
Why this conversion business at all? Why not learn to tolerate people the way they are? Indian Muslims are proud of Indian secularism, why not have a secular marriage (marry by the Special Marriage Act 1954)?
Let’s assume you want to solve this marital gridlock by “fake” converting to Islam. Conversion is clearly a one-way street because Muhammad said–if any one leaves Islam, then simply kill him (Bukhari 9.84.57).
You should know that converting (Shahadah) to Islam is only a tip of the iceberg. It is possible he may want you to start wearing burka, no more jeans and free hair, stop going to work place or college, produce multiple children, start eating beaf, stop visiting to your Hindu friends and parents and no more Holi, Diwali and Krishna Janamsthami for your children.
What is the difference between Hinduism and Islam? Both believe in One God theory (LA ILAHA ILLALLAH and Ekam sat). The difference is–who goes with God (Isvar/Allah). Hinduism has no limit for who gets tagged with Isvar (vipra bahudha vadanti, Rigveda 1.164.46) while Islam, there is only ONE and that is Muhammad (Muhammadur Rasulullah, Shahadah). In all practical sense, Islam is a true Muhammadian faith. If one removes Muhammad, there is nothing left.
If you are expected to accept Muhammad and remove Lord Krishna, Ganesh, Shiva, Goddess Laxmi, Durga etc as linked to God, you have to learn more on Muhammad. Do google search on Muhammad and his wives and their ages. Let us know your comfort level making Muhammad the only one.
Muslims believe what is written in the Koran is 100% truth and one cannot question even a word into it. This is because they are messages of Allah (via Muhammad, in year starting 610). If you are now going to live your new life based on Koran, then you have to read it (English, Hindi) before converting to Islam. Don’t convert till you became a true believer of Koran.
Propose him a simple suggestion. You are not ready to convert to Islam now because you don’t want to lie. Let’s get married now and later in your married life, if you feel Islam is superior over Hinduism, you will convert then. But not now!
If he answers that it is not him asking for conversion but it is his mother (or who ever), then you must know that he is a lier. Ash him if you have to live your married life at the likings of him or his mother? If you have to please his mother first, then why don’t you date your mother-in-law for a few years to know her?
If you convert to Islam, it is natural that your parents may disown you. Where will you go if you get a talaak in the middle of a cold night? We hope that place is not your parent’s home.
To make the story short, you already expressed your desires as “I don’t want to leave my religion for this sake”. Did you told him the same? What did he answered? If he believes conversion is more important than your love, then you have to wonder who are you dealing with.
We hope you will educate him. Once he knows that you are not going to convert, he will realise his mistakes and will accept you AS YOU ARE. Ask him to show your true love for yourself and proudly marry. Best wishes. –Admin
PRIYA says: February 7, 2020
Hi all, I am Priya whom you all are waiting to hear from about my story. Yes, I was deeply in love with my best friend who is a Muslim. Unfortunately the relationship turned very toxic for me as he is a “Orthodox Muslim” who failed to prioritise between his religion and love. All of us truly in love will try our best to hold the relationship like how did but trust me it works only if the guy is interested to compromise for you. If not, the relationship without which it’s only a disappointment for us so my sincere advise is before you get into a relationship with anybody, especially a muslim, take my words very seriously–“Don’t get converted cuz there will be restriction if you are from a different religion”.
True love is when your partner accepts you how you are and does not expect you to change your religion no matter if the god wills to. So don’t fall into a trap of love and access 1000 times before taking it seriously.
Now I have moved on from the relationship and trust all of us can and it will only make us stronger. -Priya
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Hi all, I am Priya whom you all are waiting to hear from about my story. Yes, I was deeply in love with my best friend who is a Muslim. Unfortunately the relationship turned very toxic for me as he is a “Orthodox Muslim” who failed to prioritise between his religion and love. All of us truly in love will try our best to hold the relationship like how did but trust me it works only if the guy is interested to compromise for you. If not, the relationship without which it’s only a disappointment for us so my sincere advise is before you get into a relationship with anybody, especially a muslim, take my words very seriously–“Don’t get converted cuz there will be restriction if you are from a different religion”.
True love is when your partner accepts you how you are and does not expect you to change your religion no matter if the god wills to. So don’t fall into a trap of love and access 1000 times before taking it seriously.
Now I have moved on from the relationship and trust all of us can and it will only make us stronger.
Hi Priya, what changed from January 22 when you were still in love and on February 7, where you seems to end this relationship?
You have been in love for 2 years, when did you realised “Unfortunately the relationship turned very toxic for me as he is a “Orthodox Muslim””. Why he/they waited to show their true colour?
He must be highly educated and assume “not-orthodox” when you fall in love; that is why other Priyas’ (Hindu) fall in love with a Muslim. Can you explain us how do you defined him as “orthodox”? Can you explain characteristic of orthodox Muslims and their demands? This will help other Priyas.
Note the LUST/LOVE is not an on-off switch. It is quite possible he will try his best to get you back on the love-hook. What would you do if he realises his mistake and ask you to marry him without conversion?
I am in mid-twenty Hindu girl with a job in an MNC. I am in a live-in relationship with a Muslim boy for 3 years. My partner is very supportive of my religion. I told my parents about our relationship recently but they are denying to accept the boy. Please note that my parents have no one except me to take care of them but I can never leave my partner because of this fact. My parents are asking me not to marry my partner even if I am not marrying anyone else. My partner (also me) is no ready with this condition. My parents are scared of the relatives as I was a perfect girl from my childhood and this is the only time, I disobeyed them. I want help with how should I behave in this situation. Also, though my partner is very supportive about my religion still he believes in “ALLAH” and takes part in all Muslim festivals. Also though I do not go to mandir regularly, I can’t imagine taking part in Diwali or Navaratri. I am scared that though we are supportive of each other now, in the later stages will it be an obstacle in our relationship.
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/brahmin-relationship-muslim-boy/
Hi Priya,
It must be very difficult days for you. You have a major decision to make, convert or not. He has also equal responsibility (if he cares for you) but he washed off his hands that he is a Muslim and you (Hindu) must convert. WHY? Who made this rules? Was it Muhammad some 1400 years before? Now we live in year 2020, do you want to go back to Muhammad time and live your rest of life that primitive way?
If he is a true practising Muslim, why he did not follow Koran 24:30 (not to fall in love)? Why he was romantically involved for more than a year and not brought up this conversion point (based on Koran 2:221) then? View my message here on this point … https://youtu.be/-Y19i0dCeq4 (message given in Phoenix recently; forward him this link). Ask him if he is a Muslim or he believes Koran 24:30 is not a true message by God.
Muhammad had some 30 girls (wives and sex slaves) in his life, will it be okay if you husband have 4 (as legally allowed in India)? If you don’t convert to Islam, by law, he cannot marry a second one. What will you get by converting, other than being submissive woman?
Britishers left India long before and you are new blood of free India. Why not you ask for equality and justice for both? Why don’t you want to marry to someone who truly cares for who you are?
If you convert just for marriage, where you did not wanted to start with, that will encourage all other Muslims go after other Priyas converting (love-Jihad) them. Why will you reward someone for doing wrong?
Instead of this conversion business, why not follow both faiths and teach children both faiths? Let children make decision on their own for which one of two faiths are better, on its merits.
Let us know what you have decided about converting, thank you. If you say no, will he walk away from this relationship? Try, to learn of truth! We hope he truly loves you and will still marry you even you don’t convert. Best wishes. Do share your views below (we hope).