Maya says: February 21, 2017 at 12:10 am
dear admin,
im interested in option number 3 (You convert to Buddhism and change your name. You get married in Singapore or India and then return to Malaysia as Buddhist or atheist couple) although in my situation, im a muslim girl but do not want to be a muslim anymore and somewhere in my life, i’ve met a chinese guy whom im so in love with and planning to get married in the future but i dont want him to convert to muslim. is it actually possible for me to convert to buddhism? do you know the procedures? -Maya.
Maya says: February 23, 2017 at 2:07 am
im indeed a malaysian muslim. however, i never really practise islam in my life. somehow, i believe islam has become a really extreme religion especially in malaysia. and since i was young i’ve been trying to get to know more about islam but all i get was a sigh or judgemental look from people. somehow islam restrict me from thinking beyond the box. if you start asking question, they would say im not faithful enough. every nights during my teenage time i used to be so depressed, when i think of all the nonsense things in islam ways. such as non-muslim will be sent to hell no matter what and that a guy can marry up to 4 girls at a time. and they say its a sin to go against whatever it is written in the holy Quran. now, that i’ve stayed away from the religion, i feel more free. i feel less depressed. i can express and think more clearly now. especially, i’m not biased and judgemental anymore. im not sure if you can call me an atheist because somewhere along the line i still believe in god, or maybe just anyone or anything that creates the system today. but malaysia is my home. do you think moving to singapore make it possible for me to convert? i have to at least convert. but what about my MyKad?
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im indeed a malaysian muslim. however, i never really practise islam in my life. somehow, i believe islam has become a really extreme religion especially in malaysia. and since i was young i’ve been trying to get to know more about islam but all i get was a sigh or judgemental look from people. somehow islam restrict me from thinking beyond the box. if you start asking question, they would say im not faithful enough. every nights during my teenage time i used to be so depressed, when i think of all the nonsense things in islam ways. such as non muslim will be sent to hell no matter what and that a guy can marry up to 4 girls at a time. and they say its a sin to go against whatever it is written in the holy Quran. now, that i’ve stayed away from the religion, i feel more free. i feel less depressed. i can express and think more clearly now. especially, i’m not biased and judgemental anymore. im not sure if you can call me an atheist because somewhere along the line i still believe in god, or maybe just anyone or anything that creates the system today. but malaysia is my home. do you think moving to singapore make it possible for me to convert? i have to at least convert. but what about my MyKad?
Hi Maya,
Everyone should have liberty to think freely and believe what ever. We are glad now you found piece of mind. You may love to read Taslima Nasrin‘s views. The poor lady has to run around to save her life. You too should be careful for what you say in your Muslim majority country.
There is nothing wrong being an atheist. We personally know many many atheists who are decent people and out to make this world a better place to live for all. In America, now about 24% of youths are atheist. Actually many many of them were against Donald Trump and were protesting in favor of Muslim foreigners. Why immigrant and refugees Muslim are not speaking out against those their atheist supporters? Think of it, Donald Trump got elected because of religious people to start with. Now tell us, between Malaysian religious Muslims, American religious Christians, religious Donald Trump and those atheist protesting in favor of Muslims, who is better?
If you convert, you have to say goodbye to Malaysia and your MyKad. There is no way you could have a non-Muslim name in your MyKad. Now you have to decide if you wish to suppress your feelings and stay in Malaysia or be a free thinking person outside your homeland.
Please use this post to vent your frustration. We hope to hear from you every day! Stay connected.
Dear Maya,
Admin has referred me to your post and I am very saddened to hear about the bah experiences you’ve had in your childhood with Islam. I am a Muslim girl too and I was raised in a secular country with very liberal parents (unlike in your case) and I discovered Islam by myself when I went to university – I got interested in exploring Islam and started reading about it and studying it in university classes. I cannot claim to be an expert but I will offer some perspective that may help because at one point, I went through exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you. When you are surrounded by Muslims who are harsh, see anything you do outside of the Qur’an as sinful, and ty to impose this on you, it’s natural that you will feel caged. I found my freedom when I realised that there is a whole different side to God and Islam than the one we are used to seeing in our society: discovering Sufism and reading certain books made me understand the divine better, I no longer feel confined the way I used to. Islam to me is a message of divine love, faith and devotion and I do follow it to an extent, but I now feel like my understanding of it is much better and my connection much stronger.
You may decide to leave the religion and that is your right, but please don’t forget that many of the things you have learnt about Islam need to be understood in the 7th century context: such as the 4 wives allowance etc, are not an excuse fo men to have sexual pleasures with multiple women,, they were implemented to prevent widows from being abused back in 7th century as their husbands would die in wars and they would be left unprotected. The idea was to give them protection and rights under a marriage contract, and Qur’an says to do this only “if you’ll be able to treat all of them equally” – read a few lines down and the surah says you wouldn’t be able to treat them equally, I think this is hinting that monogamy is the best option but today’s men have obviously forgotten that they need to ask their wives permission before doing this, the 4 wives rule is so abused at the hands of Muslim men – and even the triple talaq divorce.
Basically please don’t judge Islam by the action of Muslims you were raised with.
Firstly, whoever said that you are not faithful enough for asking questions didn’t know what they were talking about – in Islam, you are supposed to seek knowledge and ask questions! The very first person I learnt about Islam
from, a graduate of Islamic theology, taught me and my classmates that Islam encourages questioning because God gave you a brain and you are supposed to use that brain. How else did early Muslims make
so many discoveries, produced so much interesting knowledge and various diverse judicial rulings?
Did you know that in 17th century Syria, a woman got a divorce from her husband (a religious/judicial court authorized this divorce) because she claimed her husband could not satisfy her sexually? Can you imagine any woman doing that in a shariah court now, in Malaysia or elsewhere? We have regressed as the Muslim society, we used
To be a lot more progressive in the earlier centuries of Islam compared to now!
I guess my main point is that you have only experienced the negative face of Muslims who have made this a bad experience for you. I support your right to have your own free thinking and beliefs, and if you feel trapped by the society in Malaysia you should consider moving abroad for sure. I’m just trying to tell you that what we see as “Islam” today is sadly a very very restrictive and bad implementation of what was once a revolutionary religion that freed the slaves and gave women rights.
Nowadays religious clerics try to silence or label as “infidel” anyone who tries
To ask questions but there is a concept in Islam called “ijtihad”, please read about it.
You said that you have been aware of nonsensical things like “All non-Muslims will go to Hell” –
I have studied Islam and I do not believe this to be true. Again, quoting my teacher, he used to say that there are signs in Quran and Hadith that imply that eventually everyone (all human beings ever created) will be in Heaven after they have suffered fir their sins. Same idea as Karma – you do good, you will receive good. It’s sad that we cannot see he universal message God has sent us through messengers in India, Middle East etc. and we keep getting stuck on our differences and details.
Justice is a theme repeatedly mentioned in the Quran and whether you are Muslim/Hindu/Christian, you will be rewarded for any good deeds you do and punished for any bad deeds. A traditionalist would say that no other religion except Islam will be accepted from humans on judgement day and because I have been taught Islam differently, I say we should let God decide because none of us has died and gone to heaven and so none of isnt knows what will happen on that judgement day.
Even if you don’t believe in Islam anymore, I hope that your faith in God remains strong.
Thanks Rabia for helping Maya out.
Hi Maya, since you are in search of truth, we would recommend you to explore all different faiths and pick the one that is most logical to you. Also, we will recommend to do search on your own and not hand-held by someone, now you know how to walk on your own! In the end, if you decide to remain an atheist, that is also okay choice for us.
What ever you do, please do keep in touch with us. Best wishes.
Dear Maya,
The conversion business is mainly important for Muslims and Christians. Other faiths are not looking for converting people or out to expand their faith. If you like Buddhism, start reading about Buddha’s beautiful messages and start living like a Buddhist. You can also start going to a near by Buddhist temple, if you wish. Ask them if there is any formal conversion process, if there. There is no need to formally converting to Buddhism and there is no compulsion if you stop being a Buddhist.
However, Islam has lots of compulsion. If you are in Malaysia or a Muslim majority nation, and if you talk about converting out of Islam, they will punish you. You cannot change your name in your MyKad to a non-Muslim. You cannot marry someone non-Muslim. Sorry, you are stuck with Islam, unless you move out to a non-Muslim majority nation.