Krishna says: November 1, 2016
Hi, i am a hindu and my lover is a christian. His parents will agree for the marriage only if i get converted to christianity. I respect all religions but don’t want to get converted. He says he needs both his parents and me with him. My parents know about our relation and they are already worried. I can’t tell them that I want to get converted to get converted. Please help me to find a solution. -Krishna
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And about te kid’s religion I am worried too. But I suggest u to speak up and let them know that your kid is not going to take Baptism without your permission. And talk to ur hubby about it, as u both had discussed and agreed before marriage, let the kid decide in what religion he wants to be after once he grow up.
Krishna, you should say him that Your parents will allow you to marry your Christian boyfriend only if he will convert himself to Hinduism. It will show you reality. He will refuse to do so definitely, he is befooling you. If he can separate from his parents after marriage then why not before the marriage. I will suggest you not to marry him. If you are in true love with anybody then you have to accept him as he is, you can’t force him, same rule of love applies on him. you may get any other boy who will love you & also be a hindu.
Hi Krishna,
Thank you for reaching out to us in time.
If your boy friend is inseparable from his mother and do not wish to cut the umbilical cord now, it is better you do’t get connected with him. A very deep trouble is waiting for you. The conversion is not a matter of 5 min of baptism dip, but it will set a tone for your life. They will not tolerate the Krishna name and will want to convert to Kristi. They will want your children’s name from the Bible (read here). They will want you to go to church every Sunday, even you will get bored to hell there. They will ask commitment from you that you do not enter a Hindu temple any more and never pray to any Hindu Gods; is that acceptable to you? Not only that, they will want to cut relationship with your sinner parents. In the end, when you die, they will want to put your body in a grave, are you ready? Is this mommy’s boy worth taking all these pain? Let us know.
He says that he loves me. And i love him too. He says after marriage we would stay away from his parents and I can go to temple there. But if i don’t get converted his parents will not agree for the marriage. He says he can’t hurt them. I am confused.
Understand the “love.” We are not saying you and him are not in love but go ask 10 people married for 20 years and ask how much of their married life is running by dating time “love?” Within 6 months of marriage, this “love” will disappear and you life will run by compatibility and true respect for each other.
Instead of some one saying he/she in love and “take it to the bank” to cash it (meaning worthless), focus on person’s acts, his/her childhood learnings and experiences and how he/she treats you in difficult situations.
Does he want you to FAKE-convert to Christianity? Is he asking you to go to the church and fool them? Is he teaching you to lie to his parents, will not that hurt them? Is he asking you to cheat Jesus and get baptized? If that boy friend believes in lies and deceptions, why you think one day he will not lie and deceive you? Have your parents not taught you “honesty is the best policy?” Teach him to be truthful and honest.
This fake-baptism will have serious consequences for you later. The church will ask you to sign a legal documents for your baptism and your children being Christians. Your child will have only Christian names, not Bhartiya names. Further, your children will be going to church every Sunday where they will be tough that all Hindus are sinners, including Mahatma Gandhi. His parents will make hell for you if they ever see you in a Hindu temple. They will disassociate you from your parents and Hindu friends and you will only live in Christian atmosphere/friends/relatives. When you die, you will go in a grave. Are you ready for it?
So focus on being a “true Christian” or remain what ever you are. Start reading Bible (read), start going to his church every Sunday, stop doing any thing that Hindus do, and if you feel happy this way, go get baptize for real. Be a true Christian first, and only later get baptized.
Make your parents your consultants/friends. As much as it is going to be hard, tell them all truth. Fight with them with facts. It may take additional year or two, but they will ultimately accept your wishes. Remember, after marriage, you will need your parents (don’t burn bridges behind you!).
We highly recommend you to get married by the Special Marriage Act 1954, if he truly loves you. Tell him that after marriage and child, if you feel like, you will truly baptized then. Is this not logical?
Thank you Admin for your valuable suggestions. I have decided not to get baptized for the marriage. And I have told him this. Now waiting for his decision.
Superb, a smart girl. Tell him I truly love you and wish to marry you. Ask him if he loves you or your church. Now he is an adult (we hope!) and has to use his own head.
Tell him that you will be a better Christian than most. You will have a big Jesus photo in the living room, go to the church every Sunday, read the Bible but me or my children will not be baptized. What is more important? Our love or your baptism? To be a good Christian or have that baptism label?
Dear Admin,
My problem is similar to her but not exactly the same. I married a Christian Guy (myself being a Hindu Iyer (Brahmin). His parents were against our marriage but we convinced them for it and our marriage was conducted with both side parents being present. My husband never forced me to get converted to Christianity and has stood by my side till date. Though his parents want that i should get converted. Me and my husband live seperately from his parents though we visit them sometimes. His father and mother call me by the name “Angel” the same being a christian though i have opposed it several times they dont seem to bother. The earlier friendly talks with them have now reduced to to the point conversations. Now I have conceived and I am in the 5th month of pregnancy. His parents are now interfering, his mother came out of nowhere and has stationed herself at our home and doesnt seem to be in a mood to leave from here. His father threatened my father that my delivery should happen at their place (i.e at my in laws place and not at my parents place. They have started brainwashing my hubby’s mind as well it seems because when I raised the topic with him first he said that it will be at the place where we are currently living but after this episode he once said that it should take place where the boys own house is there. I made it clear to him that it would take place at my parents house only or where we are staying but not at my in laws place. Now my worries are all about my child’s future. Can they forcefully baptize my child without my consent if my hubby agrees with them (Earlier it was he who suggested that our child would not have a religion tag and we would teach him/ her both the religions and allow the child to decide on what they want to follow).
How can I make my husband agree to my point of view.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11725
Hi Rohini, I totally understand your situation. I would suggest you to make your husband understand that, wherever you are you want to be comfortable, moreover happy. Ofcourse if u get an option to be at your in-laws place or your o hiwn home, not just you, any girl would choose her home.