Buddhist-Hindu marriage

DEEPA Says: September 21, 2020

My husband is a Buddhist and myself a Hindu. We have different languages. This was an arranged marriage. Neither one actively practiced our faith. However when we had children we opted to take them to Bal Vihar (Hindu Sunday school) for a few years. However discontinued later as neither followed our respective faiths at home, so the children’s interest could not be ignited.

In our case because  neither spoke the same language at home despite stayed with Hindu traditions of Diwali, Holi, etc. celebrations. Now our child is dating a Christian. That is what sparked more interest in interfaith marriage, theirs and mine.

DEEPA says: September 21, 2020

Generally not. However because of my own lack of knowledge in Hindu fundamental beliefs, was unable to articulate to override the put downs towards Hinduism. As in…. bal vihar is unnecessary, Hinduism is dogmatic, and extremist, and feudalism is a result of the tradition bound Hindu system, they are highly intolerant individuals (as in modi India and his far right backward stand), etc etc. he is also v opposed to idol worship! And vehemently opposes caste system. And any chanting or daily prayers. I limit myself to incense lighting vs lighting diya. Currently my attending weekly study group with chinmaya teachers, is a huge point of contention. Which remains unresolved.


Therefore I was unable to raise my 3 children with any strong conviction on the meanings behind Hindu faith. I would lie if I do not admit that I was fear bound in any form of enforcement to keep peace.
Hope this helps as a starter.

Ours was never considered inter faith marriage, until I started writing here! My parents said that there is no difference between the 2 faiths.

Ours was 100% Hindu wedding. We got married by a Hindu priest. There was no Buddhist tradition then. Later when we went to his parents, there was a ceremonial Buddhist tradition conducted with the monks present. In their home, it is only husband’s Dad who was following Buddhism. Otherwise rest of family is bound in Hindu traditions. Same with all other relatives.

My children consider themselves more Hindu because my husband has not taken them to a buddhist temple or shared any of his teachings at home. At home we keep buddha’s murti!

Fundamentally at heart I am clearly very much a Hindu. Unfortunately this had gone dormant since I came to the US. Now with weekly study group, it has enlivened me as a result. I had lost touch with my roots!!

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6 Comments

  • Deepa
    September 22, 2020 12:21 pm

    He is also v anti Islam and marginal towards Christianity. Not sure if I would call him a agnostic or atheist. One of those would fit the bill. Interestingly Buddhism by faith and holding on to Buddha statues. But is he a practitioner? Absolutely not. Becomes a easy conversation topic. His dad started this anti caste teachings. And he is carrying it forward. My conclusion is that no faith is his faith. And as for me I embrace Buddhism in that it is peace loving and largely it is teachings, still believes in reincarnation and chanting etc. it too is a life style, and no dogmas associated.

    • admin
      September 23, 2020 1:55 pm

      We see that you had also a fair share of Buddhist-Hindu related conflicts and issues to deal. Now he is going towards atheism/ agnostic type and does not like Hindu practices. On your side, you are open minded in sense of accepting all Buddhist practices but at the same time, you like to follow some Hindu practices and belief systems.

      Explain how come you had an arranged interfaith marriage? Was there no issue when two parents decided to marry you two off? Why kind of wedding you had, Hindu or Buddhist?

      Is your daughter consider herself more Hindu, Buddhist or none? If she marries to that Christian guy, will they raise children in which faith?

      • Deepa
        September 23, 2020 4:48 pm

        Ours was never considered inter faith marriage, until I started writing here! My parents said that there is no difference between the 2 faiths.

        Ours was 100% Hindu wedding. We got married by a Hindu priest. There was no Buddhist tradition then. Later when we went to his parents, there was a ceremonial Buddhist tradition conducted with the monks present. In their home, it is only husband’s Dad who was following Buddhism. Otherwise rest of family is bound in Hindu traditions. Same with all other relatives.

        My children consider themselves more Hindu because my husband has not taken them to a buddhist temple or shared any of his teachings at home. At home we keep buddha’s murti!

        Fundamentally at heart I am clearly very much a Hindu. Unfortunately this had gone dormant since I came to the US. Now with weekly study group, it has enlivened me as a result. I had lost touch with my roots!!

  • Deepa
    September 21, 2020 7:31 pm

    Generally not. However because of my own lack of knowledge in Hindu fundamental beliefs, was unable to articulate to override the put downs towards Hinduism. As in bal vihar is unnecessary, Hinduism is dogmatic, and extremist, and feudalism is a result of the tradition bound Hindu system, they are highly intolerant individuals (as in modi India and his far right backward stand), etc etc. he is also v opposed to idol worship! And vehemently opposes caste system. And any chanting or daily prayers. I limit myself to incense lighting vs lighting diya. Currently my attending weekly study group with chinmaya teachers, is a huge point of contention. Which remains unresolved.
    Therefore I was unable to raise my 3 children with any strong conviction on the meanings behind Hindu faith. I would lie if I do not admit that I was fear bound in any form of enforcement to keep peace.
    Hope this helps as a starter.

    • September 22, 2020 5:11 am

      Wow, we thought you had minimal interfaith related issues but that is not true.

      Ok, understood that Hinduism is faulty. What problems or issues you (as a Hindu) found in Buddhism? What did he said or felt about Islam and Christianity over years? Is that only he feels about that way or his parents and relatives also same for Hinduism? [Use the “Reply” button to reply to this question.]

  • September 21, 2020 6:27 pm

    Hi Deepa, thank you for sharing your interfaith relationship. At this site, we have seen all kinds of major problems between the interfaith couple, including break up and suicide ideation. Compared to that, you have not listed any issue between two faiths. Was there any religious related conflict between two? Was there any fundamental religious issue that you had to work hard to resolve or put up with? Was his or your parents had any concern with each other’s religion? Please list major religions related issue for us to understand your interfaith union.

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